The supermarket can be a tough place when you’re a mum.
To be honest, I’ve been all of the mums below at some point, and that’s how it goes with motherhood – some days you’re winning, other days you want to crawl into bed and stay there. With chocolate. Which mum are you today? We’re pretty sure you will identify with at least one on a regular basis.
1. The barely keeping it together mum
This one is pretty much a rite of passage for any new mum, and it’s a recurring theme for many years to come. This is the mum who’s barely slept, not even had the chance to shower and usually has a crying baby in the pram. Ah, the good old days.
2. The angry mum
I am this mum about once a week. Sometimes it’s hard to keep a lid on the angry face and shouty voice when you’re in public, but hey, that’s parenting. This mum has probably had the battle from hell on the car ride to the supermarket, is trailed by noisy kids and has probably just realised she left the f*#@ing shopping list on the kitchen bench at home. If you see this mum, give her a smile. That always helps.
3. The mum who wants to make shopping a ‘teaching experience’
This mum likes to make everything a chance for learning and takes the time to discuss each grocery item before it goes in the trolley. This is nice to do now and then but does pave the way for some curly questions about how cute chicken from Old Macdonald’s farm becomes chicken drumsticks, and to be honest I’ve never really got this one down pat.
4. The smug mum with the sleeping toddler
This mum has her kid’s routine sorted and knows she has just the right window for grocery shopping before they wake. She strolls around casually, maybe nursing a coffee along the way, and takes her time getting through her list. She’ll probably be able to transfer her sleeping toddler into the car and drive home in a relaxed state, thinking about dinner that night and all sorts of other complete and lucid thoughts that can only happen when you have peace and quiet.
5. The smash and grab mum
This mum knows her toddler so well that she can time exactly how long she has to get in and out of the shop before the child implodes with an epic meltdown. She hurries in, most likely plying her kid with sultanas or a pouch to keep them sweet, and may or may not need to resort to a Kinder Surprise – it depends on the queue at the deli.
6. The organic mum
This mum is passionate about healthy living and won’t even set foot in the potato chips aisle. She hangs out in the organic fruit and veg section and you might bump into her the macro aisle at Woolies where they sell coloured quinoa for $78 a bag. I was this mum a couple of days ago, when I bought organic corn chips to try and be healthier. They were expensive and tasted like cardboard.
7. The junk food mum
This mum has given up pretending her kids eat anything other than frozen fish fingers and chicken nuggets. She has gone through the Annabel Carmel phase and now realises (as most of us do at some point) that toddlers hate food. Sick of wasting home-cooked dinners and battling through marathon eating sessions getting her toddler to eat three peas, she has resorted to processed food and relies heavily on bribery to get her kids to eat their (butter covered) veggies.
8. The mum shopping alone
These mums have dropped their kids at day care and have entered the supermarket ALONE. Usually sporting gym gear (they’ve either just been or will be heading there next), these mums have come to see solo supermarket-grazing as part of their ‘me-time’. Their state of bliss is palpable and enviable. We all want a piece of this action.