Grieving mum’s reminder about “love work” amongst the chaos of parenting

Posted in Family.
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Anna and Simon Davis’ little boy, Alby, passed away in late February and as they process this terrible loss, Anna’s been sharing some of her thoughts with Instagram followers.

Content note: This article discusses the loss of a child.

“What I wouldn’t give …”

Three-year-old Alby was playing with a rubber ball from a packet of party favours, bought for his upcoming fourth birthday when he accidentally inhaled it.

The ball became lodged in his throat, blocking his airway and the little boy stopped breathing and was unable to be revived. It’s simply heartbreaking and hard to fathom how difficult the days must have been since.

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In the past, I remember feelings of frustration surrounding the constant, unending chores that go hand in hand with family life. The bottomless washing pile, the ‘messy’ floors, the constant dishes, the ever-hungry mouths… But now? What I wouldn’t give to be hanging size 4’s on the line, to be tripping over block creations in the hallway, to have one more cup to wash up after dinner time… it’s all about perspective mamas. Never forget there are those craving your daily reality. As wearisome and unrelenting as it is, shifting your mindset to one of gratitude may make that monotony just a tad bit sweeter. This morning, please remember those mamas who are yearning to spread just one more piece of vegemite toast, and face today’s beautiful chaos with a smile in the knowing it means you have a full tribe to nurture. It is not just housework, after all. It is lovework ?

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Over the weekend, Anna posted a perspective-shifting update about losing Alby, and it’s a reminder that we’re learning unexpected lessons during the darkest times – and to be grateful for each day.

“In the past,” Anna wrote, “I remember feelings of frustration surrounding the constant, unending chores that go hand in hand with family life. The bottomless washing pile, the ‘messy’ floors, the constant dishes, the ever-hungry mouths…”

“But now? What I wouldn’t give to be hanging size 4’s on the line, to be tripping over block creations in the hallway, to have one more cup to wash up after dinner time… it’s all about perspective mamas.”


Read more about parenting through loss:


Cherish it all

In a hard-won lesson, Anna says that even the most mundane bits of family life truly are a gift, and that they’re easily taken for granted. She urges parents to reframe these blessings in disguise.

“Never forget there are those craving your daily reality,” she writes from her own lived experience. “As wearisome and unrelenting as it is, shifting your mindset to one of gratitude may make that monotony just a tad bit sweeter.”

“This morning, please remember those mamas who are yearning to spread just one more piece of vegemite toast, and face today’s beautiful chaos with a smile in the knowing it means you have a full tribe to nurture. It is not just housework, after all. It is lovework.”

We send our love to Anna, Simon, Sage, Acre and new baby, Arnhem.

Thanks for this important reminder, Anna. What a brilliant mum you are.

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