Baby number 3: How do you know how many children is right for you?

Posted in Family.

As I am sure all parents can agree, there is no greater gift in life than being blessed with a child, and many parents are fortunate enough to be gifted with a second bundle of joy.

But for some parents-of-two, hesitations and worries can plague their minds when it comes to making the huge decision to try for baby number three.

How did you decide?

One Reddit user bravely voiced his concerns to other parents on the social media site.

“Hello everyone I’m a parent (M) of 2 kids a boy and a girl, and sometimes they can be a handful, but thankfully my wife and I can take one, and it’s not an issue because it’s a 1:1 ratio,” the dad wrote. 

“Every time I see parents with more than two kids they look like they are struggling and miserable (I’m military, so I see a lot of 3+ kids). I’m not saying that all are miserable, but what made you want to go from 1:1 ratio to a, ‘there is more of them than you’ scenario.”

The parent-child ratio

The replies from other Reddit users were of mixed opinions but overall supportive, with several posters sharing their thoughts and feelings about the uneven parent to child ratio. 

“Our family just didn’t feel complete,” one parent commented. “We enjoyed having kids so much we wanted more, and after our third things were amazing and we just didn’t feel done, so we had a fourth. Life is fairly wild with four … We love having a big family.”

Another Reddit user explained how making such decisions too quickly can lead to regret in some cases, posting:

“My wife knows this feeling too well; we had both decided to stop at 2, and discussed sterilisation surgery (snips and ties). We agreed upon doing that, and I felt that because she went through the pregnancy, it is only fair that I don’t put her body through more; I got the surgery.

“However there are times now that my wife tells me she wants a third, and she would feel more complete in a family of 5, and so we’ve been discussing the idea of adoption.”

A personal decision 

Personally, as a single mum-of-two, I often wish I had a third child and even though it could still possibly happen. I have, for the most part, accepted that it likely won’t and instead focus on how fortunate I am to have my two beautiful little ones in my life.

Like with most things when it comes to parenting, the decision to add/not to add more children to your family is personal and solely yours –  whether that be to have one, two, three, five, 10 or no children.

The main thing to focus on is allowing yourself as much time as it takes to ultimately decide what is best and right for you and your family.


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