It’s difficult to imagine that my dad was ever anyone other than the type of man whose main concern in life was that all of the light switches were turned off.
Oh boy, did I thumb my nose at his ridiculous ideas, leaving the lights blazing with pure abandon whenever he was out. I mean how much money can peak price awareness really save a person? And who cares anyway, right?
Sorry, Dad. I get it now.
You know who cares? Me.
I care. Because my last energy bill cost more than my first car and now I’m the one on light switch watch.
I’ve turned into my parents, and it’s not just the light switches. I’ve gone ‘full adult’ and barely even recognise myself.
1. I get way too much pleasure out of making appointments these days
During my twenties, the only ‘event’ guaranteed to be on my calendar was TGIF Happy Hour.
These days, nothing makes me feel more accomplished than a diary full of car services, dental appointments, school assemblies and the occasional pap smear. Told ya, #fulladult.
2. I honestly, have never cared so much about underwear
The old days: Free as a bird.
“Are you wearing undies?”
“I need you to hang out the washing, or nobody will have undies.”
“You can pack your own bag, just make sure you have enough undies.”
“Dude, are you wearing undies? Show me.”
“Damn it, where are all the undies?”
“It’s gymnastics, you need to wear undies. Not negotiable.”
Who even am I now?
3. Optional extras? GIMME!
The smug, satisfied look that fell upon my face once I got off the phone seemed familiar. I’d seen it before … on the face of my parents when they took out all the types of insurance.
As I fully geeked out on the simple application process, flexible payment options, and the optional covers I can add, I knew that I had never channelled my parents more.
There is no feeling on earth like knowing that you’ve taken the measures to secure your future if the worst were to happen. I mean, even though you know it won’t be an electrical disaster because #switchesOFF.
4. Anyone who pays full price for a rug is a fool
Who am I kidding? Pre-kid me never even owned a rug.
These days I not only know my Persians and Orientals, I know how much to pay for them too. A floor covering bargain gives me the warm and fuzzies … literally.
5. I will waste fuel to find a fuel bargain
Ah, disposable income. Those were the days. You’d practically throw a handful of fifties at a mate if they offered to drive you somewhere.
Now I can hear the eyeballs of my teen rolling in her head as I cruise the neighbourhood looking to save 5c a litre.
Her: “Mum, you’ve made us late!”
Me: “But we’re $1.50 up. Huzzah!”
6. Television is life
Like clockwork, when Saturday night rolled around you’d find my parents glued to the latest episode of The Bill and various other British television series involving men named Ronnie.
Me then: “Ugh, how boring. Who could possibly care so much about stupid TV shows?”
Me now: *types into socials* “Looking for recommendations, what’s a good series to get into now that Vikings has finished?”
Ah, it’s not so bad
I never would have imagined that I’d be the type of person to get excited about insurance, or appointments … or undies! But here we are, and it’s not so bad.
Of course, pre-kid me could probably think of nothing worse than turning into my parents.
But, you know what? At the end of the day, there’s nobody I’d truly rather be like.