6 times my kid totally had it over me (sometimes you just can’t beat kid logic)

Posted in Family.

Have you ever been doing your parenting best only to be put in your place by your own pint-sized creation? It’s no secret we all underestimate our children from time to time, but sometimes there really is no way to argue with kid logic.

It’s often in these moments that we feel the sting of our own words and rules coming back to bite us, leaving us little room for recourse. Or the times where our words have been taken far more literally than we ever expected and you just can’t help but be amazed by the interpretation. Then there are the times where hilarity ensues and any chance you had to take back control of a situation is lost through your own fits of laughter.

Met my match

My son, Oliver, is now four years old and for a long time I have known he has very similar personality traits to me but it took me a little longer to discover that he is my payback child and I have totally met my match. Here are just some of the moments where his logic stopped me in my tracks.

1. Because I am Oliver

Oliver was riding his scooter standing sideways so I thought I’d try to help guide him to ride it the conventional way.

Me: See how Toby is riding his scooter, why don’t you try riding like that?

Oliver: Because I am Oliver and I am perfect just the way I am, that’s what you say Mummy.

2. My bed is tired

Oliver tried to sneak into bed next to me in the middle of the night.

Oliver: Mummy, I can’t sleep in my bed.

Me: Why?

Oliver: It’s too tired.

Me: You’re too tired to sleep?

Oliver: No, my bed is too tired. It needs a rest.

Me: So why can’t you rest with it?

Oliver: No mummy, it needs a break from me so I need to sleep with you.

Me: No buddy, come on back to your bed.

Oliver: No mummy, shhh my bed is resting. We can’t go in my room or it will wake up.

3. Apples and lemons

Oliver asked my husband why the sun was still up at night time. My husband responded with a detailed talk about the earth and the sun using an apple and lemon as props. Oliver was hanging on every word until my husband’s demonstration finished. He then paused, grabbed the props in each hand and quite logically pointed out: “Okay Daddy but this isn’t the earth, it’s an apple (holding up the apple) and this isn’t the sun, this is a lemon (holding up the lemon). Do you see?”

4. If you don’t stay, I am not telling

Me: How was school today?

Oliver: Good.

Me: What did you do today?

Oliver: I don’t know.

Me: Did you make any craft?

Oliver: No.

Me: Did you paint?

Oliver: No mum, if you drop me off at school and you don’t stay then I don’t know what I do. If you want to know what I do at school, you need to take me to school and stay with me forever in the day, okay?

5. Helmet ready

Flashback two years and kid logic was really starting to set in.

Oliver: I want to ride bike

Me: Okay well you need your helmet

Oliver: (*returns with toy viking helmet on) Okay, ready!

6. High five

Me: (*Puts hand up) Give me a high five buddy 

Oliver: (*head butts my hand)

Me: Why did you head butt my hand instead of using your hand?

Oliver: If we all the same, it would be boring. That’s what you said Mummy.

I know I’m not alone…

We’ve all witnessed kid logic in action and you don’t have to look too hard to find plenty of examples.

Here’s a few of our favourites.

System beat

Proving parents can’t always win, this kid found the perfect way to keep his food out of the lounge room and tablet out of the kitchen and still enjoy both while complying with the rules.

Only eat half

Kid logic often comes in the form of hilarious literal interpretations. After being told to eat just half the bunch of grapes, this little girl took a bite out of each individual grape rather than splitting the bunch.

My kid said I gave her too many grapes. I said just eat half of em.

An orange is food

Here’s the perfect example of what happens when we give toddlers a simple instruction, sometimes they do need a little bit more guidance or it is way too open to kid logic.

Toddler was asked to feed the cat from aww


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