Ah, kids. We love you for your kisses and hugs, we love you for your little quirks. And we love you for your accidental fringe benefits. These are the perks of parenthood that you don’t know until you’re knee-deep in kids.
When you’re starving you can always find a kiddie snack in your bag
Damn straight I’m gonna eat this teeny pack of Tiny Teddies in 10 seconds flat.
Your blame game is on point
Heck no I didn’t let one go, that horrifying stench is most certainly coming from my child.
You get to be a big kid
Of course this awesome drone I just bought is for the kids. It’s ‘educational’.
The concept of time no longer exists
Yes I’m late, I have children. What’s your excuse?
It’s perfectly acceptable to go to the movies for kids’ releases
Oh, Disney – you do spin a good yarn.
No matter how bad you look (when was the last time I washed my hair/jeans/face?), the kids will think you’ve just stepped off the runway.
Embrace this lack of judgment. It won’t last.
It’s ok to suck at drawing/kicking a footy/singing
To your kids, you’re a god.
Your patience is honed to perfection
The antics of the Most Annoying Employee at work pale in comparison.
You always get VIP access to any public toilet
“Move aside, he can’t hold on!”
You always have a helping hand
Yes, they won’t leave you alone in the loo – but they can also fetch you a new roll of toilet paper when you’re stranded.
Christmas becomes magical again
Except that Elf on the Shelf character. There’s nothing magical about that creepy little guy.
Theme parks are fair game
And you’re tall enough for every ride – bonus!
Your bad jokes will always get a laugh
When your audience thinks poo and bums are hilarious, you’ve got nothing to lose.
Thank you for being you, kids. We wouldn’t have parenthood any other way.