Each and every day parents lace up and get ready to tackle the ultimate sports event – full of hurdles and sprints – in the marathon that is parenting.
Here are the parenting jobs that may not actually be world class sports, but certainly deserve to be.
The 100 Metre Playground Dash
One of the fastest sports going, the 100 metre playground dash starts off with a bolt from your toddler from one end of the park to the other and concludes with you sprinting faster than you ever thought possible to catch him before disappears entirely from view.
This sport attracts a lot of attention from other park goers, especially from parents whose children are not participating in the event.
This complex sport requires patience, dedication and concentration as you attempt to put two (or more) children to bed at the same time. Many have tried. Most have failed.
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The Marathon Mop
It’s Mum against Mud in the marathon mop as competitors attempt to mop the entire house before the kids come inside with their dirty feet.
Rhythmic Dinner Making
In this sport of true grace and elegance, competitors must tackle making dinner, cradling an infant and entertaining older children without tripping, falling, spilling or swearing. This one takes months of intense daily training.
The Laundry Triathlon
Considered an intense sport with a high failure rate, the laundry triathlon is a race against the clock. With three sports in one – washing, drying and folding masses of clothing, do you have what it takes to get it all done before the kids add another round to the laundry bin?
The Bunk Bed Balance Beam
Only the top gymnasts should attempt the bunk bed balance beam, which requires strength and flexibility as competitors attempt to not only strip but also remake a bunk bed. Competitors are judged on the aesthetic appeal of the final product as well as their grace during the competition.
They will lose points if they hit the fan, the ceiling or give up completely and just throw the quilt over the top of the bed.
The Nappy Throw
It’s more about accuracy than distance in the nappy throw, where competitors attempt to throw a dirty nappy into the bin with minimal mess and smell. Mums can choose any throwing style they like – as long as the nappy hits the target.
Can you get your children through a morning of errands – including a trip to the supermarket, the doctor and the chemist, without losing your mind or your cool? This is the object of Errand Ball. This is the only sport where a culture of bribery is encouraged.
One of the only late night sporting events, Toy Jump tests a competitor’s ability to dodge, dive and jump over toys in the middle of the night. It is one of the more painful sports in the games, especially the Lego leg of the event.