13 ways to ditch the dummy (from mums who have been there and survived)
You may have wondered: When should I give up my toddler’s pacifier or dummy? How will I handle the inevitable tantrums and tears?
Pacifiers are essential for babies in the early years of their lives. They can help your baby self-settle and provide comfort. They may even reduce the risk for sudden infant death syndrome. As your child grows, it is not recommended to continue using a dummy.
Dr. Evelina Sterling, PhD, MPH (co-author of Your Child’s Teeth : A Complete guide for parents), says that pacifiers are generally okay to use before the age two. She says that any issues with teeth growing before the age of two usually correct themselves within six months after stopping pacifier usage. Once your child reaches the age of two, problems can start to occur. The use of pacifiers for a long time can lead to dental issues and misalignment. Children who use a pacifier beyond the age of four (when permanent tooth emergence begins) can have long-lasting effects on their oral health.
As a parent you are faced with a dilemma: When to break the habit. You’re probably wondering how to make it happen.
It wasn’t an easy task for us. My daughter had to go through four days of tantrums and pacifier dependency before she was able to give up her pacifier. It was worth it in the end. While I wouldn’t recommend it, she cracked her teeth when she was sucking her pacifier. She was in pain and refused to use her pacifier ever again.
Don’t worry if you don’t plan to wait for such an event. There are many creative and positive methods to help your child give up the dummy. With a little help and advice from other mums, here are 13 strategies that you can use.
1. Give it to the Dummy Fairy
Collect all the dummies you have in your house and ask your child to leave them at their bed each night. The dummy fairies will take them away in the morning and leave behind a small gift or toy, as a reward for their bravery. This can be an effective method, especially for children who enjoy a good tale.
2. Give them to Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or even the neighbor’s new baby
You can find a lot of characters to whom your child may be willing to share their pacifiers. You can say that the Easter Bunny collects dummies for baby bunnies to share, or maybe Santa wants them to give the elves babies. Make up a story that your child will love.
3. Cut Holes on the Tips
Make the pacifier less appealing if your child is very attached to it. Make small holes on the tip of the pacifier to stop it from working as well. Once they realize that the binky is no longer soothing, many children will give it up voluntarily.
4. Put something your child doesn’t like on the tip
You can make the pacifier less appealing by adding something that your child doesn’t like. Some parents have found success by spreading a small amount of Vegemite or another strong-tasting substance on the tip. This can cause your child to lose interest in their pacifier quickly.
5. Go Cold Turkey
The method is fairly self-explanatory. It’s over when the pacifier disappears. It’s the hardest approach to take, but once you commit, many mothers find that their child will forget about the pacifier within a few days or a week. Stay firm and you will see things improve quickly.
6. Make Dummy Arts
Why not turn your child’s pacifiers in to a project that they will enjoy? By making a collage, or by decorating them to be part of a holiday decoration such as a Christmas ornament or mobile, you could transform the dummies. It can be easier for your child to transition when they see their pacifiers presented in a creative, new way.
7. Lose Them
Some parents swear that they can “lose” the pacifiers by accident in a manner that is beyond their control. Be sure to “lose”, the pacifiers, on the day of the garbage collection. You can be sure they are gone forever, and that your child won’t have the chance to get them back later if they change their minds.
8. Plant them
Plants are a great way to get your garden started.
Plant the dummies for a fun, nature-based approach. Your child can “plant pacifiers” in a flowerbed, tree or vegetable patch. Water the pacifiers while your child imagines their dummies turning into something beautiful. This is an easy and fun way to say goodbye. You can tell your child that as they water the place where their pacifiers are planted, the pacifiers grow into special things, such as flowers, trees or fruits that help others.
This helps to foster a connection with nature, and reinforces that people are changing and growing just as the plants they help to grow. You could make it even more memorable by creating a small ceremony with family and friends, singing a song special or saying how proud you feel of their courage. You can also return to the same spot in a few months and see the progress of the plants, which will serve as a permanent reminder.
9. Tie them up
This works best if your child is still using a dummy at night. You can tie the pacifier with a ribbon to the crib so it is there for them if they need it. However, to use it they must remain still. This technique is often used to make toddlers lose interest in pacifiers, as they are always moving and full of energy.
10. Hang them in the Dummy Tree
Create your own Dummy Tree at home or in the local park. The tree is a magical spot where children can place their pacifiers to be collected by fairies or local council workers. You can encourage your child to hang their pacifiers as part of their goodbye ritual. This is a symbolic act that marks a significant milestone in your child’s growth as they bid farewell to their pacifiers, and welcome new experiences.
Decorate the tree with ribbons and small notes for an even more magical experience. The parents and children can sit around the tree and share a moment to reflect, while watching the pacifiers being placed gently on the branches. Each pacifier represents a small step towards independence. You could invite children from your neighborhood to join in, and create a new tradition.
This ritual helps children to feel empowered and proud, but it also gives them a sense closure as they move on to the next phase of their development.
11. Learn All About It
You can prepare your child for the transition by reading a book about saying goodbye. You can use the following books to prepare your child for the change:
- The Binky Ba-ba Fairy By Heather Knickerbocker-Silva
- Baby Binky Box, by Jennifer Ormond and illustrated by Curtis Walstead
- Bye bye Binky, by Brigitte Weringer and illustrated by Yusuke Yonezu
- I Want My Pacifier By Tony Ross
- The Last Noo Noo By Jill Murphy
These books can help you and your child to feel confident and ready to let go of their pacifier.
12. Plan your trip in three days
Plan your trip within three days
Mark L. Brenner is an expert on child development and the author of pacifiers, blankets, bottles, and thumbs: Everything every parent needs to know about stopping and beginning. He suggests a systematic, structured approach to phase out pacifiers. Brenner says that the process should take at least three days. In the first two days, you should prepare your child for the change by talking to them about it and mentally preparing him/her for life without a pacifier. You can talk about the reasons why it’s important to say goodbye. Explain that your child is growing up and provide positive reinforcement.
On the third day, the pacifier will be removed completely. Everyone involved in the care of the child must be on the same page and remain consistent. This method sets clear expectations and makes the transition easier. This gradual approach allows your child time to adjust. The final step, removing the pacifier, is taken with a firm hand, preventing confusion. A structured, clear approach can help some children feel more prepared and secure, which reduces the level of emotional distress and resistance.
13. Swap it for a new toy
Bribery is a good way to get rid an item that you really love. Give your child a new toy or gift in exchange for their pacifier. You may find that your child is more willing to give up their pacifier when you promise them something new and exciting. You could, for example, offer them a special toy, a book that is fun, or an animal they have been eyeing. Make it a big deal, so your child will feel like they are receiving something as comforting and important as their pacifier. This is also an opportunity to establish a positive connection with the dummy. Your child may be more motivated to make the switch if they know that giving up their pacifier will lead to a reward. Let your child pick the toy. This will give them a feeling of control and make them more willing to cooperate.
Conclusion
Both you and your child may feel emotional when you decide to ditch the dummy. It is perfectly normal to be nervous about your child’s reaction. It’s important to keep in mind that children are extremely adaptable. After a few weeks, your child will likely have adjusted to life without a pacifier.
Consistency is the key, no matter how tempting it may be to give into a tantrum. After you decide to remove the dummy, don’t change your mind. You can also offer your child something else that will comfort them, like a blanket or stuffed toy. Remove any dummies that remain in the house to avoid temptation.
Talk to your child about the changes and why you’re saying goodbye to their pacifier. Explain to your child that he or she is now a big boy or girl and doesn’t need a dummy any more. Your child will gain confidence by being encouraged and praised throughout the adjustment process.
Most children will eventually be able to give up the dummy. Be patient and stick to your plan. Soon enough, your child will be able to grow into the next stage of their development without their pacifier.
