Things I Wish I’d Known as a New Parent

He was wrapped in a burrito, with dark eyes and squinting pupils. We were about to embark on a long journey. It was like something out of a movie. We soon realized that parenting was a beautiful and wild adventure despite our expectations and preparations.

We brought her home, and it was equally confusing. There was a lot to think about, debate, and worry about. Now that my children are teenagers and tweens, I have learned a great deal. If I had known what I know today, I could have avoided a lot of stress, worry and exhaustion.

Here, I share what I wish that I knew as a first-time parent. Here are some tips that can help a new parent or reassure you.

1. You Will Seriously Screw Up, and It Will Turn Out Okay

Let’s clear this up early. Parenting doesn’t require perfection. Even if you are a vigilant and careful person, mistakes can still happen. I speak from personal experience. When my son was a baby, I locked him in a running car and had to call police to free him. It’s not as difficult as you might think. One time, I forgot to make sure the buckle on my car seat was fastened properly. When I made a sharp right turn, my son was still in his sea,t and I heard an alarming thump, thump, thump as he tumbled across the backseat. Thankfully, there was no damage.

Parenting is not without mistakes. They will survive. The kids are tougher than you think. Don’t worry too much when things go wrong. It’s your love, care and that you will always do your best.

2. Make Sleep a Priority

My baby hardly slept at all when I brought her home. After a long day and feeling on the verge of a breakdown, I decided to take my baby for a stroll around the neighbourhood. I broke down as I watched other people eat dinner while I pushed my stroller.

Not until much later did I realise the importance of sleep. Lack of sleep can affect your ability to concentrate, make good decisions and function. Pulling an all-nighter can be worse for you than unhealthy eating habits over months. Suppose you can try to sleep as much as possible. If you are sleep-deprived, share the night shifts between your partner and yourself. Both of you will need it, and your sanity is sure to thank you.

3. Your Child Will Learn to Read in Their Own Time

The parents who boasted that their children were reading novels in kindergarten made me panic. I thought I couldn’t meet this standard. In retrospect, I realise that it does not matter when or how fast they learn to read. It was not necessary to put pressure on my children to reach these milestones. When my kids started reading novels in second and third grade, it felt more natural. As long as your child is in a supportive, book-filled environment and has time to learn, they will do so at their own pace. It’s not necessary to compare your child’s progress with others or to rush them. Each child is on a unique journey, and they will be able to learn how to read when they are ready. It’s important to encourage a love of reading without placing too much emphasis on the timeline.

4. Let Them Go Outside Without a Coat

Around the age of four, my son began to resist wearing a jacket. Every time I suggested he wear a coat, he would protest, saying, ‘I’m too hot’. It was a battle that I didn’t want to fight because it was not helping anyone. I realized that letting him wear whatever he wanted was probably not the worst idea in the world.

Now, if my children don’t wear a winter coat or shorts during the colder months, I let them decide and then deal with the consequences. I don’t have to tell them that the cold weather isn’t enjoyable. What if they are cold? That’s their issue. I’m out of the loop.

5. Embrace the Grocery Store

You can’t be a parent and have any privacy. They can find me anywhere, even if I’m in the shower, on the phone in the basement or hiding in the pantry. Wherever I go, a small voice will always ask, “What are you doing?” Or, “Can you give me some?” Then there is the supermarket. The supermarket is my refuge. It’s a rare moment where I can get away from the demands and constant requests of parenting. For a brief time, I can walk down the aisles, complete my shopping list and make phone calls in peace.

Even if it’s only for 20 minutes, you can breathe. When I leave my children home to go shopping alone, I am reminded of how it feels to be in my own company. This is a small luxury that I treasure. It allows me to reconnect with myself without being constantly distracted by parenting duties. When you are at your wits’ end, don’t forget that the grocery store is a place of calm amid chaos. Do not feel guilty–it is just as important for your health as anything else.

6. Phones Are Fine

Ah, the great debate about screen time. The controversy over phones and kids is huge, and I am no exception. My pediatrician warned me often about the dangers associated with too much screen time. What I’ve discovered over the years, however, is that with the right boundaries, smartphones can be an effective tool.

My kids each received their first cell phone when they turned 11. They could use their phones as long as they checked in regularly with me and I had access to the phones. We also talked about responsible phone usage, such as not sending inappropriate images and messages.

The phone can be a great way to stay in touch. I’ve sent silly texts to my children, tracked their location with apps such as “Find My iPhone,” and had serious conversations with them that would not have occurred otherwise. Phones aren’t the enemy; they just need to be used wisely.

7. Make Them Run

Running is a great way to get your kids moving. It has many benefits, including physical health. Running, in particular, can improve academic performance and mood. It also helps with stress management. Running is a great way to improve your overall health and can be done anywhere.

Running can help kids release their pent-up energies, especially when they are feeling restless. A quick run in the yard or around the neighborhood will do wonders for kids who have been stuck indoors or need to take a break from schoolwork. This allows them to get some fresh air and clear their mind. They will return feeling more refreshed and happier.

Sending my kids for a run whenever they feel overwhelmed or have too much energy has worked like magic. Running helps kids focus, relieve frustration and get back to work with a more clear head. Running is a simple activity that can be incorporated into your daily life because it doesn’t require any special equipment. All you need are a pair shoes and a place to run.

8. Good Food Equals Good Mood

Not all snacks have the same nutritional value. After talking to a nutritionist I learned that snacks high in protein and fiber are healthier for growing children. Nuts, cheese, eggs and hummus are now staples in my home. They not only provide energy for the entire day, but also stabilize your mood, preventing ups anddowns. My children seem to be less irritable and feel fuller longer. This means they are not as tempted by sugary snacks, which can lead to mood crashes. The snacks helped reduce stomachaches in our family.

You don’t have to be an expert in nutrition to know that food can boost your mood. The right nutrition for your child can have a huge impact on how they feel and perform. A balanced diet can help them focus, learn and handle daily challenges. Giving their bodies the fuel to thrive and not just survive is important.

9. When Things Suck, Try Ice Cream

Ice cream can help with almost any issue, be it a bad grade or a swollen knee. Ice cream’s creamy sweetness can make anything feel better. It may not be the healthiest option, but it is a wonderful pick-me-up for a child who’s feeling low. When a child is feeling down or frustrated, a serving of their favourite flavour will provide immediate comfort.

There’s a certain joy in eating ice-cream, even if it’s not the most practical thing to do. It’s true, it contains protein. You could even argue that it is a healthy treat. Even a little indulgence will help restore a sense of calm and joy when you’re not getting what you want. A little sweetness can make a bad day better. This is the perfect way to remind yourself that you can enjoy the little things in life when the world seems overwhelming. Don’t underestimate ice cream’s ability to lift your spirits, especially after a difficult day at school or home.

Conclusion

It isn’t about knowing all the answers or doing it right. Showing up for your children, loving them without condition, and allowing them to grow at their pace is what parenting is all about. We often feel pressure to be the perfect parent, but our kids need our presence, patience and willingness to embrace all of life’s ups and downs.

Over the years, I have learned that parenting is not a one-size-fits-all” thing. And that’s fine. There will be tears, there will be mistakes, there will be battles, but also laughter, love and sweet moments. As I watch my children grow, I am reminded of the importance of the little, everyday moments.

If you are navigating through the chaos of parenting, remember to take a deep breath, remind yourself that you’re trying your best and allow yourself to accept imperfection. You are the best possible parent for your child. Enjoy some ice cream you deserve it!