A Guide for Dads to Survive Parenthood
Being a father is one of the greatest achievements in life, but also one of the most difficult transitions that a man can make. Arriving a new baby can completely change your life. No one warns you of the sleepless night, the constant need for attention and the overwhelming feeling. Some dads adjust more quickly and easily to the new situation, whereas others take a bit longer.
In the first year, you may feel overwhelmed by diapers, feedings and sleepless nights. You might also be trying to find a balance between your role as a new father and other roles you have in your life, such as your career and relationship. Some dads get lost in the chaos and forget to support their partners. This blog will remind you of the things that dads shouldn’t ever do after they have a child and how fathers survive in parenthood.
You might want to reconsider your actions if you have ever been in a situation in which your wife hurls rolled-up socks in anger at your head. This list of 13 things you should avoid will help you navigate your first year as a parent with grace and compassion.
1. Why is your wife crying like it’s weird
It’s no secret that having a child is difficult. Motherhood is a new and challenging role that can be emotionally and physically draining. If your wife is crying because she is sleep-deprived or the baby is teething (or for any other reason), you should ask her, “Why?” It is not a good idea to react with confusion or scepticism.
It’s not always necessary to fix crying. Your wife may need to vent her frustrations or just have a good cry. In these moments, the best thing you can offer is to simply listen and show support. You can hold her and reassure her that everything will work out. Empathy is important, and attempting to “fix” or rationalize her feelings may only make her feel more isolated.
As a partner, you are not there to solve all problems but rather to support your partner in times of vulnerability. It’s not necessary to provide solutions, but simply your presence and understanding.
2. Sleep in on Sundays
Ah, the weekend lie-in. Most of us cherish this habit, but after a baby, those lazy Sunday mornings spent in bed will be a distant memory, at least for a little while. If you haven’t established a system that allows both you and her to take turns in the mornings, don’t assume your right to sleep in is gone.
Both parents must share the responsibility of caring for the baby. This is especially true on weekends. Your wife may have been up all night feeding the baby or soothing it. The last thing she wants is for you to snooze away while she’s still awake.
Be proactive. You can wake up early and offer to walk the baby in the morning, or you can give your wife a little extra sleep by taking care of the first diaper or feeding. Both of you must be involved in the parenting process.
3. Play Golf or Sail on the Weekend
Men who enjoy weekend hobbies find comfort in them, whether they are playing golf or going sailing for a day. These activities are not something you can do when you’re a new parent. It’s not fair to your partner to leave her at home to care for a crying child while you go play golf.
You work hard, and you deserve some time off. But taking an entire day to yourself while your wife has to take care of the baby (and all other things) is not going down well. Work out a compromise instead of going sailing or golfing for the day. You can alternate weekends, so you go out with your friends one weekend, and she has her own time to relax the next. Balance is key in the early years of parenting. You should also respect her self-care needs.
4. Assume your wife is the designated driver
We know that you may want to attend a party or go out for dinner. Indeed, your wife may not be drinking alcohol if she is breastfeeding or on a break. But this doesn’t mean you should let her drive you around while you drink cocktails.
It’s not fun to be at a party with a baby while your partner drinks a few drinks and pretends to be on a mini vacation. Your wife may be tired too, but she is probably even more so because of the baby and the additional pressure to always be the responsible one. Since you’re both in this together, you must take turns driving.
You shouldn’t assume that she is the designated driver just because she doesn’t drink. This parenting journey is a partnership, so you both share the responsibility for everything.
5. Invite your wife to long, boozy lunches
It’s frustrating to be invited to an extended, leisurely meal that your wife has never agreed to. It’s especially frustrating when the person inviting you doesn’t intend to help with the baby but expects your spouse to go along as if things are still normal.
Remember that your wife’s life is different. You may be able to enjoy an evening at a restaurant with your friends, but she might not. Have an honest conversation with your spouse about the realistic expectations for you both before accepting such invitations.
If you want to go out and enjoy yourself, you should take care of your baby or arrange for a sitter. Respect your wife’s well-being and time.
6. Mention Sex Often and Keep Track
Ah, “post-baby sex” life. You may be disappointed if you expect things to return to normal immediately after giving birth. A woman’s body undergoes many changes after giving birth. She may not be emotionally or physically ready for intimacy. That’s normal.
It’s not normal to constantly remind your wife of the time since your last encounter. Physical intimacy is not just about sex. It’s also about building a connection. By reminding your wife of her “dry spell”, you will not motivate her to desire intimacy.
Focus on creating emotional intimacy instead by helping her with chores, showing her that you appreciate her, and supporting her during the difficult days. We can tell you that taking care of the baby or doing the dishes will go a lot further than bringing up sexuality.
7. Question: “Does my bum look big in this?” Answer the “Does My Bum Look Big in This?” Question
This is a good tip: If your wife asks you, “Does it look big on me?” then the only acceptable answer is No. You can’t give an honest response to this question that will result in a good outcome. This question is a trap to test your loyalty and support as well as your ability to handle sensitive situations.
It’s not her appearance that she is concerned about. Instead, she wants to know how she feels after pregnancy and how she views her body. You don’t have to give a detailed response. Just smile and tell her that she looks great. If you feel like walking away, do so.
Remember: “No” is the answer to all questions. Then, quickly move on to something positive.
8. Give Your Wife Vacuum Cleaners for Her Birthday
Even though practical gifts can be appreciated, you shouldn’t give them as a gift, especially for a special event like a birthday. One of these gifts is a vacuum cleaner. It’s practical, but it sends the wrong message: “I believe you should clean more.”
Focus on giving her something special that will make her feel loved and appreciated rather than something that reminds her of her household chores. A day at the spa or a handwritten note are more thoughtful gifts that show you care about her as a person, not just the one who runs the household.
9. It’s time to get a puppy
A puppy is a big responsibility–probably one that’s even more challenging than having a baby. It’s not a good idea to suggest a puppy at a time when your wife has just begun to adjust to motherhood. It’s not a good idea to suggest a puppy when your wife is already adjusting to motherhood.
You need to understand that your wife already gives 110% to the baby. A dog could add even more chaos and stress to your household.
Before you entertain the idea, wait until she shows interest in getting a pet. Puppies are not an option until she expresses interest.
10. Try for another baby
It’s not a good idea to discuss the possibility of adding another child to your family at this time. Your wife may still be recovering from her childbirth and adjusting to being a new mom. She is also likely dealing with a lack of sleep, personal time, and a lack of sleep.
It could overwhelm her and put pressure on her that she is not prepared for. Don’t force her to make a decision. Let her discuss the topic when she is ready.
11. Snore Like a Chainsaw
You’re adding to the pain if you snore through the night while your wife is up with the baby. Your snoring may not be obvious, but it can be very disruptive to your wife, who is already sleep-deprived.
Try sleeping on your side to avoid “snoring problems.” You can also use nasal strips or even a mouthguard to reduce the noise. Do what you can so that your wife gets more sleep.
12. Stay late for Friday work drinks
We all know that Friday drinks at work are a fun way to relax after a busy week. With a newborn at home, drinking late in the office is not an option.
Your wife will likely be at home with a crying baby and is not happy to be left alone. Plan your socializing to fit around her schedule and family.
13. Do you have a hangover after Friday work drinks
If you go out to drink on a weekend night, you don’t want to show up at work the next day with a hungover. Hangovers don’t stop parenting. It’s unfair that your wife has to care for you while you are suffering from a headache. She is already carrying a baby and household.
Moderation is key if you are going to indulge. You should drink responsibly, and remember that as a parent, you must be able to step up when necessary, even if your mood is not the best.
Conclusion
It can be a rollercoaster of emotions during the first year as a parent. To navigate this difficult time, teamwork, communication and self-awareness are key. Avoiding these 13 mistakes can help dads ease the transition to parenthood. They can also strengthen their relationship with their partner and support each other in raising their baby. Parenthood is challenging but also rewarding. With the right attitude, you can get through the chaos and love with patience and mutual respect.
