I share a room with my twin toddlers and husband – and it is more than okay

Karina Lane's twin boys sleeping

Since they turned three, my twins’ creative little minds have conjured up all sorts of fears about sleeping in their own bedroom, despite them being in there together and us trying EVERYTHING to help them sleep.

After a rocky first year without much sleep at all, my husband and I weren’t willing to go back to the ridiculously long bedtime shenanigans and repeated night-waking.

At first we tried turning a blind eye to one of them slipping into our bed at night, but this would inevitably lead to the other one stirring and coming out to search for his twin. Two toddlers in our bed did not make for a peaceful night’s sleep.

In the end, we shoved our double bed right up against the wall and squeezed the boys’ two cot mattresses next to it, side by side on the floor. The four of us have been rooming in for months now, and the end result is two happy, refreshed parents who traded in bedtime reading and special adult time for sleep…sweet, sweet sleep.

The deal was a no-brainer, although some people have looked at me in concern when I tell them about it. But I’m not worried about bad habits, or spoiled children. I’m not even that worried about giving up half of our bedroom.

Sharing a room with my toddlers is SO not a big deal to me, and here’s why:

They grow up so quick

I know it’s a cliché, but our little babies really do grow up so quickly. Before I know it, these twins of mine will be 12 and kicking me out of their room at night. Maybe even shunning my kisses and cuddles. Sob. Plus, I have two older children who also used to need me a lot at bedtime – and at five and eight, they now sleep perfectly fine in their own beds. That’s enough proof for me that this stage won’t last forever, so rather than stress about it, I’m going to enjoy it.

It’s nice 

Call me crazy, but I love sneaking into my bed at night and hearing the soft snores of my little men beside me. I love looking over and watching them snuggled up together, dreaming their dreams and cuddling their teddies. It feels…right. Maybe even a tad primal. Isn’t this how animals sleep with their young? This could be why it makes sense to me. Plus these are my last babies, so I’m keeping them close to me while I can.

The night-waking is manageable

They pretty much sleep all night but if one does happen to wake for a drink or needs his blankets adjusted, this can all easily be resolved by me without leaving my cosy bed. In fact, I barely need to open my eyes.

Waking up together

With their mum and dad nearby, the twins are definitely sleeping longer, which means we’re all getting better sleep. But even better than this is being woken up by a little person kissing your face. And the other morning, I had this sweet nothing whispered into my ear: ‘Mummy, you’re my best fwend.’ So while I inwardly groaned and wondered what it would be like to sleep all day in my cosy, soft bed… I kind of melted at the same time.

I know I’m not the only one

I know from playground conversations that I’m not the only one who’s doing what she can to get by in the sleep department, which takes any guilt or beating myself up right out of the equation. Toddlers are still such little people, it makes sense that they need the extra security overnight. And as long as I can carve out some decent sleep for myself along the way, I’m not going to fight it. It helps a lot to know I’m not the only one choosing to sidestep the battle.

 

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