What Are The Signs Of Parental Burnout?
What Are The Signs Of Parental Burnout?
Did you know that burnout can also affect parents? You may be experiencing parental burnout if you feel like you are in survival mode and you can’t enjoy your time with your kids.
Burnout in parents is the result of excessive child-rearing responsibilities. Many parents suffer from depression, chronic exhaustion, and a low tolerance for frustration. They may also feel disconnected or distant from their children. Others may burn out because they feel inadequate as caregivers.
What is parental burnout?
Stress and burnout have plagued parents for decades, if not centuries. In the early 1980s, Belgian psychologists Isabelle Roskam & Moira Mikolajczak named parental burnout. Parental burnout is a syndrome that has three distinct components.
- A feeling of exhaustion and overwhelm related to your parenting role
- Feeling emotionally distant from your children
- Feeling ineffective as a parent, or unsure about your parenting abilities
Parenting can be rewarding and wonderful, but it can also cause tension and worry. It can, therefore, cause similar symptoms to other forms of Chronic Stress.
Burnout in parenting and mental health
The pandemic has hurt levels of parental burnout. The youth mental health crisis, which has lasted for the past two years and more, has also contributed to parental burnout. A study by researchers at Ohio State University in May 2022 found that two-thirds of working parents were burned out.
The study was based on a survey conducted with nearly 1,300 parents who had children living with them under the age of 18. Researchers found that burnout was linked to both mental health problems in parents and their children. The study revealed that burnout is directly linked to anxiety, depression, and increased alcohol consumption in parents. Three-quarters of parents with a personal history of anxiety experienced burnout.
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Burnout is more common in parents of children with ADHD and anxiety. Parents who are concerned about their child’s undiagnosed mental illness also have a higher risk of burnout.
The term “mom burnout”, which is more prevalent, occurs when women are the primary caregivers for their children. Fathers can also be at risk of burnout if they are involved in parenting. According to a study by Ohio State University, 68 per cent of female parents are burnt out as opposed to 42 per cent of male parents.
Parents who are experiencing burnout can show the following symptoms:
1. Exhaustion, both physical and emotional
Burnout can make you feel extremely tired, overextended, and depleted. Parents who are burnt out often describe feeling exhausted and to the point where they “can’t handle it anymore”.
2. Distance emotionally from your children
Parents who are experiencing burnout often describe feeling “disconnected” from their daily lives or as if they were just “going through the motions. It can be difficult to love and care for your children when you are burnt out.
3. Feeling incompetent
Parents who are burnt out may feel that they’re doing a poor job or they’re no longer the parents they once were. It is not a productive role. They do not feel any sense of accomplishment. It can affect their overall satisfaction and enjoyment.
4. Physical symptoms
Physical symptoms such as headaches or fatigue can affect parents. Some parents feel exhausted when they think about the day ahead. Parents who feel physically and mentally run down are more susceptible to sickness (for instance, a cold).
5. Loneliness, guilt
Loneliness and isolation can be caused by a lack of energy or the inability to recharge. Parents can also feel ashamed of their feelings, making it difficult to seek help.
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How common is burnout?
Burnout rates vary from 2 to 14,% depending on the country. Burnout is more common in cultures where extended family and networks of support are not as important. Both mothers and fathers can experience burnout.
Why does this happen?
Researchers have found that there are several factors associated with parental burnout.
- Employment Working mothers feel more or less emotionally exhausted than mothers who work part-time.
- The number and age of your children: The greater the number of children in a family, as well as the larger the age gap, is a risk factor for burnout.
- The developmental stage of your child: Having infants increases the risk for emotional exhaustion.
- Support: a lower level of support, both practical and emotional, can increase the risk of burnout.
- Your Child’s Needs: A child with disabilities places more demands on parents and can increase the risk of burnout.
- Perfection: Striking to be the perfect parent rather than “good enough” can put parents at risk for burnout.
What is the difference between postnatal depression and burnout?
There are many similarities and differences between parental burnout and depression, according to research.
- Parents with children older than 18 months are more likely to experience burnout.
- Burnout is often linked to parent characteristics and, to a lesser degree, to social and relationship factors.
- Burnout is more likely to affect parents than other aspects of their lives (such as the workplace).
What can help to reduce parental burnout?
You are not alone if you think you may be suffering from burnout. There is help available. You do not have to suffer alone. Early intervention can prevent depression from turning into burnout.
Parental Burnout can be treated by:
- Addressing Lack of Sleep: This may include sleep hygiene, such as avoiding caffeine-containing drinks and taking a warm shower.
- Making time for hobbies and interests outside of parenting. You can recharge your batteries and have a break.
- Parenting Support: This may include education about parenting skills and ‘good enough’ parenting as well as child development, helping you to understand age-appropriate standards for your children, etc.
- Seeking Support: Asking for help from friends and family and seeking professional assistance if needed. You can get back some “you time” by doing even small, practical things.
Continue to fight if you continue to struggle
- C.onsult your doctor: This will help you rule out other medical conditions that could be contributing to fatigue.
- Psychological Therapy: Therapy is a great way to help you with issues such as self-esteem, perfectionist thinking, self-compassion, and emotional regulation.
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How to Recover from Parental Burnout?
Parents who are burnt out can experience intense feelings of shame and guilt. Parents can support themselves to reduce negative feelings. Remember that recovery after burnout can be achieved. Help is available to help you overcome stress and overwhelm.
Here are the 10 ways you how can you cope with parental burnout.
1. Consult a Therapist
A licensed mental health professional will help you develop coping strategies and address parent fatigue. Therapy can help you set goals and reduce stress at work or home. A therapist offers a safe environment to identify and implement solutions.
2. Join a Support Group
Support groups in person or on the web are a great way to feel connected when you’re dealing with burnout. You can feel less isolated when you know that other parents face similar challenges.
3. Call a friend
It takes courage to ask for help. People often struggle with their vulnerability, particularly when dealing with something so intimate as parental burnout. It can be frightening to let others in on your home and family life, but their support can help you find solutions or make positive changes.
4. Self-care is important.
Self-care, like anything else, is unique. You may find that what feels rejuvenating and beneficial for someone else is uncomfortable for you. Doing these things every day will help you increase the mental energy needed for parenting.
If you’re short on time, start small. Every morning, take two minutes to think about yourself and breathe deeply before you check your phone or grab the kids. What makes you happy? What are your needs to be successful? What changes are needed? Remember your achievements and thank yourself for the progress you’ve made.
5. Find out how you can get help
When navigating parent burnout, it may be beneficial to reduce your to-do lists. You can reduce some of the stress by hiring a babysitter or a household manager or asking friends and family for help.
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6. Don’t Hold Onto Unrealistic Expectations
Burnout is fueled by perfectionism. You may find yourself ruminating about your value as a parent if you wonder if you’re doing enough. Social media can create unrealistic expectations about what parenting should be. Follow social media pages that show the messy and realistic side of parenting to help manage your expectations. You get extra points if the account uses humour to make you laugh at the serious stuff.
7. Work to Establish Structure & Routines
Structure and routines are beneficial to parents because they can set healthy expectations and boundaries each day. You can, for example, ask your child to start doing their homework as you prepare dinner. The few minutes you spend in the kitchen can be a quiet place to reflect on your day.
8. Take Micro-Breaks
Parents often don’t get the chance to relax. It is important to take a few moments throughout the day for yourself and your mind to relax. Do a breathing technique in the shower, for example. Bring your favourite coffee and enjoy it while watching your kids play in the park. These small gestures can lift your spirits and reduce stress.
9. You can find meaning in your parenting journey
There will be ups and downsides to parenting. One thing is certain: each moment will pass. Take time to reflect upon the purpose of this parenting season. This challenge will give you more time to comfort your child and cuddle them. Your teen may make snarky remarks, but he or she is also becoming more independent in terms of school and personal tasks.
10. Practice Self-Compassion & Self-Love
Self-love is taking care of yourself and not criticizing yourself. Many parents assume that they are at fault for things going wrong because we are our own worst critics. Most challenges are beyond your control. Take a deep breath and concentrate on forgiveness when you find yourself talking negatively. Doing so can help you engage in mindful parenting.
Conclusion: Helping Yourself
Every family faces its unique challenges and issues. It is normal to worry about your parenting abilities and feel stressed. You should seek help from a mental expert if you feel exhausted regularly.
It’s important to realise that you’re not alone if you or someone in your family is feeling the symptoms of burnout. Your children love you and think that you are an excellent parent. Parents today can feel emotionally exhausted by the chronic stress they carry, but there are resources available to help.