I Feel You, all the Other School Mums Who Think They Aren’t Cut Out for This
School mum life can be overwhelming, especially during those hectic school mornings when every minute counts. Many Australian parents know the stress of juggling drop-offs, reminders, and last-minute school tasks all while trying to keep calm and organised.
The bell had rung 10 minutes earlier, and I knew that we could slip in and shove his bag in the cloakroom and sneak him into the office without getting a late notice from the office. As I trudged back to my house, holding his hand, the familiar bubbles of stress rose inside me. Stress creeps up on you during school rush hours: nagging and reminding kids, making sure they get out of the door on schedule, and ensuring the shoes have velcro on them.
As I opened the front door, it struck me. It was library week. The bag of books was still on the couch. What’s worse? The blue whale drawing that he had made for “Newsday was sitting right there, on the kitchen table.
“Oh, sh*t,” I murmured to myself. “News day’s today.”
Some mornings, I swear I feel like a failure as a mum. It’s hard to keep track of everything. There are Mufti Days where kids must wear orange, green, or stripes. Harmony Day, Book Week, and fundraisers with instructions such as “Don’t Forget a Gold Coin Donation!” or “Please Bring Your Donation by Friday” are just a few of the many challenges that children face. child development. Raising Children Network.
Then there’s me, the scatterbrained mother who forgets everything.
You are not alone if you read this and think, “That’s exactly what I do.” You may feel that you are “fudging” your way through the school year and that everyone seems to be more organized. You may feel that you’re not cut out to be a “school mum”.
I can feel you.
The Myth of the Perfect School Mom
Unspoken is the myth that school mothers are super-organized, always on top of everything, superheroes. They never forget anything. They are always on top of everything, have colour-coded agendas, and manage to volunteer to do anything, from P&C meetings to classroom helpers.
I used to believe that this was me. If I didn’t do those things, then I was failing my child.
These mums are incredible. We don’t need to be like them to be good mothers.
You don’t have to be the fundraising queen, the calendar queen, or the class mum who organizes every event. It’s about being there for your child, loving them, and helping them grow.
You’re Going to Be Fine (really)
One of the most important lessons I am learning is that forgetfulness doesn’t mean the end of my world.
Sometimes, dropping the ball helps my son grow.
Last week, I left his hat at home. Again. He had to sit in the back of the classroom during recess because he was not allowed to wear a hat. This was the first time he had been told no. Guess what? The next morning, he remembered his hat. He was on his own.
He is learning to be responsible and not rely on me for everything.
He’s also getting better at remembering me.
He knows now that, when a special occasion is approaching, he must find his permission slip and bring it home. Then he will tell me to sign it. He reminds me that he needs to put it in his bag because otherwise it may get lost.
I am the “scatty mum” who forgets the school calendar, the app for the school, or the emails.
He’s become more independent as a result.
What are my shortcomings? He’s being taught to be more independent.
You know what else? You will still be able to raise your child even if sometimes you forget.
We are Good at Other Things
You may feel that you are not doing enough when you look at the mums around you who seem to juggle a lot of things. They manage to organize every school event and run committees.
We all have our own strengths. We are all good mothers, even if we’re not the mums who organise the annual fair.
We have other things on the table.
I am a great communicator with my son. I am in touch with his feelings and thoughts regarding school. I help him manage his emotions when he is nervous, excited, or upset.
I may not be the PTA or school calendar queen, but I am the queen when it comes to understanding my son’s needs and advocating on his behalf.
You may be a fantastic cook and pack a healthy lunch that your child will love. children’s health.
You may be the mum who reads to your child every night. This will instill a love for books and stories, which can then be built upon by school.
You might be that person who knows exactly how to calm a hurting knee or a worried mind after school.
All of us have unique talents, and that is more than okay.
We are good mothers in all the important ways.
If We Let Ourselves, There is so Much Support Available to Us
I have learned that we do not need to do it alone.
The school newsletter, WhatsApp groups, emails from the offices, and Facebook pages are all overwhelming. Information overload can leave me confused and less informed.
The “all-knowing” school parent is the mother who remembers everything: every fundraiser, each mufti’s day, and every event.
She is your secret weapon.
Make friends with her.
She can remind you to pack your hat, to return library books, or to bring gold coins.
You can tell other mums about your forgetfulness so that they can tap on your shoulder and remind you before you miss any more “special days.”
Because, in reality, mums who are school moms form a group. We’re all in this together.
We encourage each other and remind each other when we need to.
You Can Feel Like You’re Not Cut Out For This
Some days, I wake up wondering if this school mum thing is for me.
Will I be able to remember everything?
Will my child feel that I let him down?
Do other mothers think I am disorganized or “not enough?”
You’re not the only one who feels this way.
It’s normal.
It’s human.
It’s OK.
We are all learning as we go. We’re all figuring it out as we go.
It’s OK to be a little bit different.
What Really Matters
What matters most to us is that our children know how much we love them.
Even if we forget to wear a few hats, they know that we are doing our best.
Even if we are sometimes late, they know that we will show up at their events.
We’ll pick them up and listen to their stories. We’ll help with homework. And we will cuddle them if school is hard.
What is it really like to be a good mother at school?
There are no perfect calendars or lunchboxes.
Do your best, love, and presence.
The Little Peptalk I Have for You
All the other mothers who think they’re not cut out for it:
You’re enough
You’re doing a fantastic job.
You can rest assured that your children will be fine. Your kids will be fine.
You don’t need to be perfect.
You don’t need to do everything.
You have to be yourself.
Conclusion
Stop and take a deep breath if you feel that you are failing or that everyone else is doing better than you.
You are not alone
Your “scatty mum” moments don’t define you.
You are defined by your love, your time, a nd your presence.
Let’s continue to support each other and love our children fiercely, even if we need to drop the ball.
Why this crazily messy, beautiful, and crazy journey of a school mum? We’re all in it together.
It’s beautiful. parenting advice. Raising Children Network.
