Sometimes with the chaos of children, chores and other daily duties, we forget about our partners. Sometimes we forget to stop and spend quality time with the main men in our lives. Sometimes we fall asleep on the floor of the nursery rather than beside them. And sometimes we don’t say the things we really want to say.
So, dads, in the lead-up to Mother’s Day, this is what we mums want you to know, even if we don’t always get the chance to say it.
When we say we’re too tired, we really are tired.
It’s not that we don’t want to, you know. It’s not that we are no longer attracted to you or that you have done something wrong. The cold harsh truth is we are tired!
And, after a day of holding a baby, sometimes we just want to go to sleep without anyone touching us.
We still need your attention, your praise and your support.
Being a mum (and, yes, being a dad too) is a demanding and often a thankless job. Sure, we are supported with plenty of cuddles, kisses and “I love you Mummy” but we still crave adult attention.
We still want someone to tell us we’ve done a good job every now and then, to listen to our complaints and our accomplishments (even if getting the baby to self-settle seems trivial, it’s not to us. It’s important to us).
We still want someone to ask about our day, to tell us about theirs and to participate in adult conversation and stimulation. And we want that person to be you.
We are not trying to compete.
When we complain about our day, it’s not to rub it in your face or to blame you. We are not playing the “”Who has it worse off” game. It’s simply because we want someone to talk to.
Sometimes the best response you can give is to simply be there, to nod your head, to hold our hand, to offer us a glass of wine, and to say, “It’s okay, you’re doing a good job”.
We still want to spend time with you.
Once you become a family, it’s easy to lose the “couple”. It’s easy for the “me and you” to disappear completely. But we still want to be with you, to spend quality time together and to even spend alone time together.
It’s just a matter of finding the time!
We appreciate everything you do.
We don’t say it enough. But we appreciate you.
We appreciate the nights you stay up and help, even when you have to work in the morning.
We appreciate the table you clear after dinner, the baths you draw for the kids, the stories you read at bedtime.
We appreciate the little smiles you give us from across the room and the kisses you give us in the morning.
We appreciate the hair you braid, the nappies you change, the toys you put together.
We appreciate your emotional and financial support. And, we are proud of you.
Even though life has changed, we wouldn’t want it any other way.
Yes, we may be grumpy. And tired. And moody. And we may be a dishevelled mess. And we may complain a little bit. But, deep down, you have made us happy. You have given us the best gift in the entire world – our children.
Well, you played a minor role, at least.
To each of our Babyology mums out there, with Mother’s Day nearing, take the time to talk to your partner, to tell him how you feel or to share this post.
And, Dad, give your partner the best gift you can this year – show her that you are here to support her, that you are here to encourage her, and, most importantly, that you are here to listen.
But don’t forget the flowers.