8 realities of date night for parents of little kids

When you have kids it can be super tricky to keep the romance alive but making sure you schedule in couple time is important for a healthy relationship. The trouble is, even when you make date night a reality, it can be very different to the way you remember it pre-kids.

1. Next level organisation required

You practically need to be in the special forces with a team of personal assistants by your side to get a date night in the diary. It just never makes it to the top of the priority list and then there is all the planning and preparation. First you need to find a free evening, then get a babysitter and book a restaurant. Once that’s all locked in, you need to write down instructions for the sitter, sort out clothes and any medication, tidy the house … the list goes on.

2.Take two (or three … or four)

Then when you do finally lock in a date and a destination, one of the kids will come down with gastro, or your babysitter cancels at the last minute, or you get gastro. The universe will work against you until you are forced to postpone and reschedule – which means you have to start back at the beginning. It’s not unusual to have two or three of these false starts. Remember the days when you could just head out whenever you felt like it? Yeah, those days won’t be back for a long time.

3. Only 10 minutes to get ready

Date night is here, no one is sick or has bailed on you. It is happening, baby! The only problem is you haven’t shaved your legs for two years, your roots need doing and you have nothing to wear — trackies are not suitable restaurant attire and everything else is either stained or doesn’t fit. After you tidy the house enough that the sitter will be able to find a spot on the couch to sit on and you’ve cleared a path to the kids’ bedrooms, then managed to distract the kid demanding your attention, you’ll have roughly 10 minutes to make yourself look semi-presentable.

4. Giddy elation hits you hard

You’re out the door with your partner – YEWWWWWWWWWWW! It’s time to party, people! You are going to rock this city, eat like a king, dance on the tabletops and get crazy because you are KID FREE FOR THE NIGHT! Your hearts are pounding, not from the thrill of being alone together, but from pure elation at the fact that you don’t have to whip out your boobs for the tenth time that day, wipe someone’s bum, cook dinner, clean up or scroll through Netflix on the couch yet again. You are officially off Mum duty and out on the town.

5. Non-stop kid talk

You couldn’t wait to get away but it only takes five minutes before you and your partner are talking non-stop about the kids. I wonder how the babysitter is going? Oh, did we forget to leave out Blankie? Isn’t little so-and-so an angel! Honestly it’s crazy how much you end up gushing about your offspring – absence really does make the heart grow fonder. You’ll probably check your phone a thousand times too just in case there’s an emergency call from the sitter –  that’s when you’re not scrolling through all the photos of your babies.

6. Falling asleep

Then the tiredness hits and you haven’t even been served your main course. What time is it? Normally you’d be crashed out by now, plus the wine is making you extra sleepy. Oops, one of you just nodded off. Embarrassing! Maybe it’s time to call a cab? But then you remember you need to make the most of your big night out and order dessert instead. 

7. How much do I owe?

You’ve given up fighting the desire to sleep and have called an Uber home. Hang on, which one of you has the cash for the babysitter? Darn, you’ll need to swing by an ATM. What was the hourly rate again? Once you make it home you’re standing in the doorway half drunk, half asleep and for some reason your ability to add two plus two has gone out the window. How much do you owe? You give up trying and just hand over a few big notes. You can get cross at yourself in the morning when you realise how much you overpaid.

8. Straight to bed

Okay the babysitter is gone and you’re knackered. You both entertain the idea of sex but then you think about how dusty you’ll be feeling in the morning and sleep seems so much more appealing. Sorry, it’s straight to bed then. This night’s already been wild enough.