A concerned dad-to-be took to Reddit to snaffle some advice on his recent behaviour and found himself on the receiving end of a lot of passionate opinions.
“I can’t believe I’m making a human being”
He explained that his wife was seven months pregnant and that the pregnancy has been a little fraught. When the pair attended an ultrasound appointment, things got a little dicey.
As the ultrasound technician pointed out the parts of the couple’s baby, the couple both navigated some big emotions. Mum-to-be was particularly overwhelmed, the man noted.
“We could see our baby looking like a real baby,” the man writes. “My wife started crying, and I was comforting her, when she said the words. ‘I can’t believe I’m making a human being.'”
The dad-to-be had some feelings about this, and later let them be known.
“I kept comforting her, but I waited a few minutes and, once the tech was gone, gently reminded her that we are both the parents, not just her. I also told her that saying she’s ‘making’ the baby on her own is not accurate, since I provided half the genetic material.”
“My wife was still emotional at this point, and she started crying again thinking I don’t appreciate what she’s putting her body through to be pregnant. Obviously this is false, especially since her pregnancy has been so tough that I’ve attended at least two doctors appointments every month. I show her with actions, not words, that I appreciate her.”
Read more stories about parenting:
- Mum confronts women who gossiped about her at mum’s group
- Pregnant woman upset that her mum is insisting on being in delivery room
- Photo of multi-tasking mum-of-4 will strike a chord with every parent
I helped too!
The dad-to-be explained that he felt excluded by his wife’s statement, and wondered if his behaviour had been warranted.
“I just don’t think it’s fair to claim I haven’t contributed something to making our daughter. She is still upset the next day.”
“AITA? (Am I The A*shole?)” he wondered.
The good folk of Reddit were quick to let this dad know that he was in the wrong.
“You aren’t making shit,” one commenter wrote. “She’s the one dealing with all the body and hormonal changes. Get over yourself.”
“You’re not doing anything to grow the baby. She is,” someone else posted. “You gave genetic material. That’s it. Her body & hormones & blood volume are all changing. Yours isn’t. Appreciate what she’s going through from now on.”
“He mansplained pregnancy to her,” another commenter observed.
“I’m an idiot”
Dad-to-be was reading through the comments, and they provided him with some fresh perspective.
“I’m an idiot,” he posted a little later. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m gonna apologize and make it up to her however I can.”
Someone else chimed in, empathising with some of the confusing things this dad may have been feeling when he dropped the comment on his wife.
“Agree with the statement you are replying to, but I assume that what you meant to convey is that in that moment you felt like a bystander and that you were sorta on the outside looking in,” they posted.
“Nobody is really out there celebrating that you’re about to be a father,” they continued reasonably. “There’s not going to be any party celebrating you busting a nut and hitting the target because it really is the limits of your required contribution for bringing a child into the world.”
“You gotta do all that you can to be the best damn husband and father you could possibly be and you will get your celebration over time in the form of appreciation from your wife and child.”