One of the most enjoyable things about having kids is dressing them in cute outfits, and if you have TWO kids then dressing them both in cute outfits can be a total joy.
Is twinning winning?
A mum took this up a notch with her two and four-year-old daughters, dressing her girls in cute and IDENTICAL outfits. But her joy soon turned to confusion when someone suggested dressing her girls the same might not be what’s best for them.
Posting on Mumsnet, the mother said everyone was loving the twinning up until this point.
“For reference, they both love it too and get excited when they have the same on,” she wrote. “I would stop when they don’t enjoy it of course.”
She said she doesn’t do it all the time, and sometimes she doesn’t match them completely. They might wear the same style but in different colours, the mum explained.
“I haven’t ever given it a second thought,” she continued “until someone asked me whether I was concerned about them ‘not developing their own individuality.'”
She admitted she hadn’t been concerned about this, but now was starting to second guess herself. She asked other parents what their thoughts were … and they had plenty.
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Quite a few people thought this practice was adorable and fully supported the matchy-matchy loving mum.
“I think is cute!” one person responded. “My sister and I (20 months between us) wore matching outfits and I thought (and still think) it was really cute.”
“Me and my sister did it out of choice when we were about 5/6/7/8. We used to love it!” someone posted.
“If they are OK with it then it’s fine,” another commenter said. “But I would make sure they have plenty of time when they aren’t dressed the same too.”
But pretty overwhelmingly, people didn’t think dressing kids identically was a good idea and many spoke about suffering through it in their own childhood.
“I was about 4 when I really didn’t want to wear the same as my 18 m younger sister including hairstyles!” one commenter wrote. “My mother still put us in often matching but different coloured outfits till we were at least 8. Hated it as we were very different children.”
“I’m a twin and my mum dressed us in matching outfits for as long as she could get away with,” another person posted. “I think we were 11 or 12 when we finally refused the wear the same clothes. I really hated it – I think mum liked people knowing we were twins, but it just looks so twee and unimaginative.”
“I figure kids are individuals and I like to reflect that but each to their own,” someone else commented.
So which is it?
So what do the experts think about dressing kids the same? Speaking about twins in particular clinical psychologist Linda Blair told the BBC that it’s not the best idea.
“Children want more than anything to be seen as special in their parents’ eyes, as different from everyone else,” Linda said.
“When you duplicate them, you’re not going to harm them in some kind of long-term way, but what you’re doing is putting the warmth of their relationship at risk. The person they are going to want to compete with and push away is the person who is most like them. So it isn’t good for the sibling relationship to dress them alike and put them in one box.”
Embracing the differences in kids is a better idea, she explained.
“The best way to raise confident kids is to continually praise and be proud of their differences and uniqueness.”
You can read the full story at Mumsnet.