Remember the mum fantasies you had before children arrived? From dreamy Mediterranean escapes to peaceful mornings with a hot coffee, these fantasies have evolved but remain just as relatable for Australian parents juggling family life. Discover the everyday dreams that keep mums going. family lifestyle.
I am. Vividly. It was glorious.
The list included steamy Mediterranean getaways and Sunday morning sleep-ins where your partner brought you fresh coffee (who looked suspiciously similar to Chris Hemsworth), as well as spontaneous evenings out with friends in heels, which didn’t come straight from the pharmacy, or lazy days without a school lunchbox in sight.
Now? Now?
Like me, they’ve evolved but not always in a glamorous way. Today, I dream about locking the door to the bathroom without it turning into a national crisis. Or drinking a hot coffee that does not taste bitter and like broken dreams. If Chris Hemsworth came into my kitchen with a flat white and whispered, “Take the afternoon off,” I wouldn’t even ask him where we were headed.
I asked some mums about their fantasies today. Unsurprisingly, more answers resembled “50 shades of grey” than “50 shades of grey hair.”
Here are seven ultimate mom fantasies that we can all relate to.
7 Ultimate Mum Fantasies
1. The Sheets (No, Not Like That).
In the past, “between sheets” was associated with very different meanings. Think candles, Marvin Gaye, and lingerie.
Now? Now? Deep, uninterrupted, undisturbed sleep.
My fantasy? My fantasy? Slipping into fresh sheets at 8:30 pm (yes, eight thirty) and not being awakened by the mysterious “Muuuummm”, echoing in the darkness at 2 am. Or a sweaty child kicking me in the groins at 4:09. You may be woken by a cat coughing a furball in the early hours of the morning. My brain will remind me at 6:00 p.m. that we are out of bread, and the school requires a signed permission slip by 8 p.m.
Nope. I’d like to sleep through the night. Is it too much to ask for? (Apparently, yes.)
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2. The General Anaesthetic Sleep, Also Known as the “Sleep of the Dead “)
Stay with me. This might seem dark.
Many mums dream about a specific kind of sleep: the general anesthetic sleep. You know it. You know the one.
I was envious when my five-year-old had a minor surgery and got to sleep for 45 minutes. Not worried. Not scared. Jealous. baby care.
The promise of blissful nothingness was more important than the hospital gown and IV drip. Even a toddler’s tantrum or a smell of toast burning couldn’t disturb the deep sleep. Raising Children Network.
If I were to put it like this: if you offered me an anaesthetic nap with a recovery couch, ice chips and no one in need of a snack right now, I would say yes, sign the waiver and even before they explained the side-effects.
3. Toilet Time… Alone
Ah, privacy. Remember her? She was gorgeous. She used to be around all the time. She’s now a stranger.
While trying to wee, I’ve managed to have entire conversations. I’ve had conversations that covered:
- Can I watch Dora?
- “I’m hungry!”
- Why is your bum so large?
- “That looks a lot like banana poo to me, Mama.” Well done.”
- The classic question: “Where do you put THAT?”
To spice up the situation, there’s the occasional bout of sibling war outside the door. My daughter once hid a drawing of me under my locked door, even though we were only apart for 90 seconds.
Yes, I do dream about my own toilet time. It’s something I want. I crave the day when I can empty my bowels without having to explain what I do or offer snacks while seated on the throne.
4. Operation Fantasy
This really is what separates the rookies and the veterans.
This is the fantasy of being whisked off to a hospital for a stay. It’s not a serious situation (let’s be this dark), just something minorly annoying, such as gallbladder removal or a bunion removal.
You get a single bedroom. Quiet. No dishes. No bedtime routines. Nurses bring you water. Watching television during daylight hours. You ate food that you did not cook. Nobody will ask for a different dish or say it smells strange. Someone else’s bed.
There are many mums I know who, without shame, have said that they think lucky duck when they see people being wheeled in for day surgery.
A friend once said, “I faked an impressive limp for a whole week, hoping that someone would suggest that I need a scan and some rest.” But she didn’t receive it. She got three loads and an email from the school about Book Week costumes instead.
5. Surprise Holiday Fantasy
In my head, this one is like a movie.
I awaken on a random morning, a Thursday. The sun is shining. My partner leans forward and says, “You’re amazing.” You do all you can for this family. I have packed your luggage. Your flight departs in four hours. You’re going to Bali alone. We got this. “Go get a good massage.”
I sob. I sob. I told my best friend to meet me at the airport.
We drink cocktails. We read by the pool. We nap just because we can. We never cut someone else’s food. We never yell, “Shoes!” We never yell “Shoes! Nobody touches us with sticky hands. Rest is our only duty. Tan.
We return home, refreshed, but probably ignored by our children who have just discovered Minecraft.
6. Space, Silence and Sleeping Alone for 24 Hours
Sometimes, the fantasy is closer to home. Sometimes the fantasy is closer than you think.
Imagine that your home is empty. Your partner has left the kids with you for 24 hours. (And remembered to pack enough snacks). The house is quiet. Like, eerie-silent. You won’t be taunted by a laundry pile. No one needs anything. There was no argument about who touched whom.
Pour a glass. You watch something trashy. You could even light a wick (because nobody is going to blow the candle out or spread Vegemite over it).
You go to sleep alone. No nightlights in the room. Your bed is all yours. It’s all yours. You don’t need to hold on to the edge of the bed because your child wants to sleep diagonally.
When you tell yourself that it is time to wake up, then you do. You don’t wake up when someone steps on your face.
Heaven, my friends!
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7. The Magical Meal Fantasy
The first thing you’ll notice is something rare: optimism.
You cook a meal. You cook a real meal. Toast or pasta with butter is not the real thing. A real dish with herbs, seasoning and perhaps even a sauce. You’re brave–you include vegetables.
You mentally prepare for the protests by calling your children to the table.
They say instead:
“Yum! “That smells incredible!”
You blink. You blink.
They sit down and eat everything without complaining, without tears or anyone crying because a carrot touched a pea. They request seconds. They clear the table and say “Thanks, Mum,” before wandering off to play, while you drink your wine in stunned silence.
You turn to your partner. He smirks like it’s nothing. You check under the table. There are no hidden napkins stuffed with food. Just… a peaceful dinner. It’s almost erotic.
Final Thoughts From the Fantasy Trenches
Motherhood is filled with heart-warming moments. The chaos, the sticky kisses, and the thousand ways that your children love you are all magical. Let’s face it–you’re also going to be exhausted, feeling resentful, carrying a heavy mental load and in survival mode.
In those moments, it’s okay for you to fantasise.
Your dreams are important, whether it is about getting eight hours of sleep or a cup of hot coffee. Or if you want Chris Hemsworth to make your lunches for school (shirtless).
Here’s to all the crazy, strange, and wonderful fantasies about motherhood. They may one day become true… or inspire someone to give a night’s rest.
If you’ll pardon me, I am going to imagine myself drinking a cup of hot coffee in complete silence without anyone touching me. Maybe I’ll book an appointment with my doctor for a “checkup”. Just in case they insist that I be kept overnight…
