Perhaps everybody and everything in your life seems to be reminding you of just how difficult and challenging pregnancy can be?
Maybe comments on stretch marks, AWOL pelvic floors, varicose veins and enormous bottoms are ringing in your ears? Getting you down, even?
Take a deep breath. Push those thoughts aside. Because we’re here to tell you that there are lots of great things about pregnancy too.
Let us begin:
1. No more periods! Hurrah!
Granted, some of us dance around a campfire, wearing a flower crown and a beatific grin, celebrating the monthly decluttering of our uterine lining. True. But for others, the cramps and dampness live up to their name “The Curse”.
So, hurrah for pregnancy when you don’t have to fork out for tampons and pads and stain-remover to put the sparkle back in your undies.
2. Hello, thick and insanely attractive hair
Lush tresses are one of the excellent gifts of pregnancy and we do not care for your reminder of the sort of patchy, hormone-induced hairy autumn that may befall us after the birth.
We are dead certain we are just finally proper women now – and our hair will be plentiful and glossy forever. It will not fall out, postpartum. Shut up.
3. Extra helpings. Double scoops.
We know that “eating for two” is a bit of a myth, but growing a baby actually is a heck of a lot of hard work, up there with building roads, being on a chain gang (whatever that is) and working on the complaints line at Aldi, come Saturday afternoon.
When you are pregnant, it’s an open secret that nobody can a) get between you and food AND b) question your intake, no matter how outlandish it may seem. Those are just the rules, guys. Soz.
4. You’re the special-est person (possibly ever!)
Well you are! Yes, millions of women across the globe have grown babies, but none of them is exactly like the one you are growing, which is why when you look up the word “miracle” in the dictionary, there is a picture of your beautiful, pregnant face. Because faces can be pregnant, amiright?
SPECIAL = you.
5. You’re a walking science project
You are, aren’t you? From one day to the next you’re unlikely to know what chemical reactions are occurring within your system, nor which bits of the tiny human you are making have edged larger or stronger or smarter.
Science-y biological magic is happening inside you – and yet you manage to do the laundry, retrieve crumbs from your increasingly impressive cleavage and watch Netflix like you’re not a huge, big gosh-darned deal.
6. Bonkers dreams will entertain you as you “sleep”
The dreams, right?
You probably thought those so-called “Cheese Dreams” were pretty on point, but then you entered the magical mystery tour that is “Preggo Dreams” and had to check, on waking, that the antacid you were swigging before bed was not spiked with precursor drugs.
7. Generous curves confirm you are actually SO gorgeous
There is absolutely no avoiding pregnancy curves, and we would not have it any other way. Even if you are a skinny little rake pre-conception, your baby will give your belly the kind of transformative make-over that even RuPaul would find impressive.
Further, for some pregnant ladies, these renovations will provide an extra sort of shelf, around the back. It’s kind of like a granny flat atop your bottom and is helpful for propping things on (toddlers, heavy shopping, pot plants) – without the bother of dusting or getting extra keys cut.
8. Your world opens up and you’re less of a brat
Before pregnancy, you might have been the sort of person who ignored the bigger issues, deciding that recycling was for sissies or the vaccination debate was just a spiky lot of old bore (and that’s just for starters).
Once you’re preparing to sit at the helm of your very own family, though, you realise that the world is not purely about YOU – and indeed will go on long after you are pushing up daisies – thus, important issues shift helpfully into focus. It’s like having a brand new set of eyes and ears.
9. Um. You’re DIY-ing an actual human!
And the very best thing about pregnancy? You are making a human being! Not only are you made quickly aware of how clever your body is (even when you’re not really trying!) You’re also about to embark on the steepest and most life-affirming learning curve of your entire life – getting to know your baby – and truly getting to know your (new) self.
Hip, hip hooray for pregnancy, hey?! (Except on those days that it sucks.)