Women Entitled Miscarriage Bereavement Leave

Miscarriage is one of the most talked-about tragedies in society. It’s been hidden behind closed doors for far too long. Miscarriage is often framed as a “natural but unfortunate” biological hiccup. Because of this perception, the emotional fallout often associated with it has not been given much consideration.

Many workplaces have a clear expectation: If you are not physically incapacitated, you must show up to work and continue. It’s not appropriate to grieve over a thing that the world refuses to acknowledge.

In New Zealand, however, a quiet but powerful revolution could change this narrative.

A Landmark Proposal: Miscarriage Bereavement Leave

The New Zealand parliament is currently considering a bill that would offer 3 days of paid bereavement leave for women and their partners who experience a miscarriage, at any stage in pregnancy. Not only stillbirths. Not only late-term loss. A miscarriage can be any type.

This legislation, if passed, would be a major step towards recognising the fact that miscarriage pain is not just physical, but also deeply emotional and, for many women, life-altering. This would make New Zealand the first country in the world that offer such a leave at a national level.

For women like Jane Scotts, it has been a long-awaited step.

Jane miscarried at six weeks of gestation seven years ago. She has two healthy children now, but her first miscarriage is still a vivid memory.

Jane remembers, “I began to get severe cramps Sunday morning. I knew that something was wrong.” By the afternoon, I had miscarried and was in a state of chaos. I hadn’t realised how attached I was to my child until then. I felt numb.”

She called in sick for a few days, not because of the flu or any other virus, but simply because her heart had been broken.

Jane tried to get back to normal by Wednesday, but was unable to do so after hearing her co-worker talk about her pregnancy.

She says, “I told him what happened and he was very supportive and understanding.” He told me I could take as much time as I wanted. It was still paid for by my sick leave. It was not a special case. There was no recognition that I had suffered a real loss.”

That’s the real problem.

Keeping Silence and Grieving

The miscarriage occupies a peculiar, awkward position in our collective understanding. The miscarriage is often dismissed as a result of the fact that the baby was not “real” or the pregnancy had not progressed far enough. This narrative undermines not only the emotional impact of a pregnancy loss but also discourages women from taking a time out to grieve, process or to physically recover.

Jane explains that most women get up and go to work. “Because women don’t think it is right to take time off.” Because society says, “It wasn’t a real baby yet.”

It was often so, but to the mother it was. Everything changes the second the second line appears in the test. You start imagining names. You imagine life with your child. You plan. You plan. You are a bond.

Even if it is removed early on in pregnancy, you still lose a dream and a future that was already in your heart.

Jane says, “It is devastating no matter how far you are.” Once you realise you are growing a person, you will experience a shift in your mind, body and emotions. In that moment, you become a mom. When you miscarry, it’s like you lose a piece of yourself.

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Acknowledging Grief Publicly and Properly

Janelle Moran is the fundraising and communications officer for Sands, a New Zealand organisation that provides support to families who have lost a baby or are pregnant. She shares a similar opinion.

She explains that “every pregnancy loss is unique.” “But it can be shocking and disorienting for some parents, particularly those who are experiencing it for their first time.”

Moran emphasises that grief does not follow a timetable. Emotional wounds, unlike physical injuries, do not have a specific treatment plan or recovery date.

She says that there is no quick fix for grief. Feelings of guilt, sadness, and loss can last for many months or even years. It’s important to have flexible leave for bereavement, which gives parents the space they need to process their feelings, find support or just rest.

She believes that the New Zealand bill is not only compassionate but crucial in creating a culture where emotional well-being and mental health are recognised as essential parts of healthcare.

What about employers?

Of course, with any new workplace policy, especially one that involves paid leave, there are concerns–particularly among small businesses.

Moran admits that, with current statistics showing that one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage (as per the most recent estimates), this type of leave may have a negative economic impact. Even three days of paid time off can be a challenge for small businesses.

She adds that this is not about exploitation of the system or creating a precedent for abuse. It’s about human empathy.

As Dr. Talat Uppal, an obstetrician-gynecologist, points out in her article on miscarriage, some of the resistance is due to a cultural misconception of it.

She says, “I believe miscarriage has become a common occurrence and the loss is therefore trivialised.” There’s a general assumption that miscarriage happens to everyone and doesn’t require extra attention.

It’s also a problem of logistics: proving that a miscarriage occurred.

It’s more difficult to “verify” an early miscarriage than a traditional sick leave, where a doctor’s certificate is required. This can lead to mistrust among employers, who are often sceptical.

This kind of suspicion is not the right approach. A miscarriage doesn’t happen to gain time off from work. This is a painful and deeply personal event that no woman wants to experience. It’s often suffered in silence.

The Bigger Picture – Women’s Health and Workplace Equity

Despite possible concerns, Dr. Uppal strongly supports such legislation.

She says, “I believe New Zealand is the leader in this area.” “I hope Australia and other nations follow.” It’s about respecting women, not just their physical bodies, but also their emotional worlds.

Too long have women’s reproductive issues been ignored. Women have been told to “just get through it” – from periods to menopause and miscarriage. To be quiet.

This mentality has resulted in a deep inequity in the way that women’s health issues are handled in the workplace. Menstrual leave remains taboo for most people in many countries. Returning to work after childbirth can feel like running a marathon with no sleep and without any support.

It would not only support parents in their grief, but it would also send a powerful message that women’s health and women’s grievances are important.

“It will also remove the guilt and shame that many women experience,” Dr. Uppal says. Because miscarriage was not their fault. They shouldn’t be forced to hide the miscarriage to avoid judgment or protect their job.

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Not everyone will speak up–and that’s okay

Not every woman feels comfortable telling her employer about a miscarriage. It’s still a stigmatised experience, and many women keep it a secret.

The point of a policy for bereavement leave after miscarriage is not to force people to speak about their loss, but to give them options. Give them the right to grieve without punishment.

Janelle Moran says, “This is all about giving parents some time. Rest time. Time to rest. “Time to be human.”

Shifting Cultures, One Policy At A Time

Change comes slowly. Conversations like these, which are open, honest and sometimes uncomfortable, will start the change. We must first acknowledge that the invisible pain many women experience is as real as a broken leg or hospitalisation.

It’s not just a policy, it’s also an act of compassion. It’s a formal acknowledgement that the event is important. The grief is valid. The person grieving is entitled to care.

Let’s not forget: this isn’t just a woman’s problem. Partners also grieve. When a pregnancy ends, fathers, coparents and families are also affected by the loss and shock. As New Zealand’s bill suggests, extending the leave to partners is a beautiful and inclusive way of acknowledging that shared pain.

We Need to Treat Miscarriage with the Respect it Deserves

No amount of time off can ever make up for the loss of a pregnancy. It can help to soften the blow. It can make her feel validated and cared for. She can breathe, cry, and heal without the stress of having to pretend to be okay.

Jane Scott is still thinking about her loss seven years after the fact.

“I didn’t hold that baby.” That baby did exist. But that baby existed. “It means a lot to have that grief acknowledged even now.”

It’s about time that we acknowledged this universally.