Six Things I’ve Let Go of as a Mother
Motherhood can be a crazy, unpredictable journey — filled with love, mess, and joy. If you are anything like me, your idealistic visions about being the “perfect mother” may have begun with the idealism of being the “perfect mom”. You’re the one who brings homemade quinoa balls to park outings and enforces strict rules against screen time. Somewhere along the line, reality begins to set in.
It’s tiring to pursue perfection. What about being honest? It’s unnecessary. I’m a “good-enough” mum. To me, this means that I can go to sleep at night with the knowledge that I am not ruining my children; they are loved and happy (most of the time).
You may be nodding in agreement and feeling pressure to “do it all.” I want to share with you six areas of my parenting where I have decided to cut corners and accept that close enough is good enough. It’s made me happier and more manageable.
1. Making Dinner (And accepting Simplicity over Perfection)
I remember when I used to think that every meal had to be a Pinterest-worthy masterpiece — colorful, fresh, organic, and carefully prepared. After years of juggling my work, kids, and the chaos of everyday life, I have realized that perfection in meal preparation is not important.
Dinner is not always a family dinner with everyone around the table. My boys will happily eat boiled eggs that I have drawn smiley faces on by 5:30 p.m. while I am still cleaning up or preparing for the evening. The smiley faces are fun, but the main goal is to give them a healthy meal that they will eat.
The days of stressing about getting the entire family to eat the same meal at the same time are gone. My husband and I eat together after the children, and it is often the same meal that we prepared for them, like salmon and vegetables, or something simple and nourishing.
It’s been my experience that feeding kids earlier, even if they don’t have a sit-down meal, leads to fewer tantrums and a smoother bedtime. The evening chaos and hangry children that resulted from waiting for daddy to arrive home to prepare a “proper meal ” were caused by the wait. Instead, I have changed my expectations to something that is more in line with our rhythms and us. What’s the truth? It’s a win if the kids are healthy, ha, and fed.
2. Screen Time: Allowing it without Guilt
You’re probably a parent who has struggled with guilt over screen time. I know that I have. I was worried that my children’s creativity would be stunted or their attention spans hurt by too much screen time. I was under pressure from family members who wanted to help and social media experts to ban screens.
Then I realized something: My kids are getting plenty of outdoor activity, whether it’s running in the backyard with their friends or playing at kindergarten. We do arts and crafts together, read books, and enjoy family time offline.
The screen time has become my secret tool – my moment to accomplish things or simply breathe. While the TV is playing, I can make calls, work, or enjoy a rare cup of coffee without being interrupted. Now, instead of feeling guilty about this time, I embrace it as essential for my mental health.
You know, it’s okay. That’s okay. Parenting is messy, and we all need to take a break. Screens have their place, but balance is more important than perfection.
3. Playing with My Kids (even when I’m exhausted)
Playtime can be magical but exhausting, especially when you are running on fumes. These early years with my boys are precious and fleeting. I love them and cherish their company. Sometimes, however, I don’t want to drop everything and play Lego castles or pretend cupcakes.
This used to make me feel awful. I used to feel terrible about this. But I have learned to be gracious and find a balance.
Now, I am trying to find a balance. I will play with them as much as I can when I have the time, but when I feel overwhelmed, I will set them up with an independent activity to do while I take care of those urgent tasks that I cannot ignore. I sometimes bounce between the two – a bit of play, a bit of work, and then back to playing again.
It’s true that the “to-do list” is rarely completed, but I also don’t miss my childhood. This juggling act sums up motherhood, and I have come to accept that it is imperfect.
4. How to Wash (without losing my mind)
In our house, laundry is an endless task. The bottom of my washing basket is rarely seen, and folding and storing every item feels like an unattainable dream.
Focus on the essentials, I have learned. I fold and store the boys’ clean clothes so they are easily accessible every morning. What about the rest? It can wait.
By giving myself some leeway, I can avoid feeling overwhelmed by the laundry. I don’t obsess over the mountain of blankets or the forgotten towels. Instead, I prioritize what is most important for our daily routines and let the rest go when necessary.
This practical approach saved me from a lot of stress and allowed me to focus on my children instead of drowning under piles of clothing.
5. Even if it’s Not Perfect, You Can Still Get the Kids to Bed
Bedtime routines are either beautiful and relaxing or chaotic and stressful. It used to feel like we were required to follow a strict bedtime routine every night. This included baths, pajamas, and storytime, as well as teeth brushing and lullabies.
On some nights, it happens. Some nights it happens. Sometimes, we rush, and my children go to sleep in their clothes. Other times, we don’t bathe them at all.
What do you think? That’s okay.
I have learned to put the most important things first: get them to bed by 8 p.m. It’s okay if they wear yesterday’s clothes, or I’m too tired to bathe them. It’s more important to me that they sleep than that I have a perfect bedtime routine.
I have found that evenings are much more calm and manageable when I give myself some slack.
6. Doing What I Can to Be a Healthy Mum
Let’s face it: Being a “healthy mother” is not as easy as you think. I make sure to have fresh fruit around the house and prepare nutritious meals most nights. I’m not one of those mothers who bake snacks every week.
We keep some snacks in our pantry, like crackers or popcorn. These are quick options to grab and go when we have to run out the door. I don’t mind.
Truthfully, I am doing fine as long as my children are eating healthy meals and I have fruit readily available. Everyone is not perfect. I have learned that it’s better to focus on the big picture rather than being perfect in every detail.
Why “Good Enough is Good Enough
Every mum’s idea of “perfect” is different. My experience has taught me that trying to be perfect in everything leads only to frustration and guilt.
Lettign go of expectations freed me to focus on the things thmatterter — love my children, make sure they are happy and safe, and take care of myself to keep going.
They don’t expect me to be perfect. They just need me to love them, be patient, and present. I need to model kindness and resilience by being kind myself. This includes the ability to forgive me for not always being perfect.
My experience will encourage you to allow yourself to be “good-enough” because, in the end, “near-enough” is enough.
Conclusion
It is a journey of challenges and victories that will last a lifetime. It’s okay for you to redefine success in parenting and adjust your standards. Your love and care will make a difference in everything you do, whether it is the meals you prepare, the time spent playing, or the way you manage bedtime.
Remember that motherhood isn’t about perfection. It’s about doing the best you can and accepting all of the chaos. Nearly is enough.
