The 20 Lies Most Likely Told to Your Children by You
Let’s be honest for a minute. If you are a parent, chances are you have told your children a few (or even twenty) lies. The truth isn’t always the best thing to say, but sometimes it can make parenting more difficult than necessary. What are these little white lies? These lies are often the result of love, desperation, or survival instinct.
Sometimes I lie to my children. It’s wrong, sure. It’s never for the wrong reason. It’s sometimes to avoid a breakdown, other times to get a few minutes of peace, or sometimes because I don’t want to share the last piece of my chocolate.
Does this sound familiar? Here are the top 20 parenting lies, and what they mean.
1. “Eat Carrots to Help You See at Night.”
This is a classic that has been passed down from generation to generation. My parents told my story, and I now tell it to my children. It is a cute and harmless myth that carrots can give you better night vision. This is because carrots contain Vitamin A, which is good for your eyes. The leap from “superpower” to “superfood” is a myth. It’s parenting magic.
Telling a child that they will see better at night is a small but worthwhile victory when they refuse to eat their vegetables for the millionth or more time. This is a subtle nudge towards healthier eating, disguised as an entertaining story.
2. I Don’t Remember Where You Put Your Party Bag of Lollies
Do you remember the moment when your sweet tooth became a bit too indulgent? Yep, that’s me. I have eaten sugary snacks when my children were not looking, even though it was against my best intentions. Denial is not just a river in Egypt; it’s also a survival strategy.
This lie will keep the peace and delay tantrums. Often, kids don’t know the adults’ snack stash has mysteriously disappeared. This is not about deception; it’s all about avoiding a candy war.
3. The Ice-Cream Truck is Out
When you hear the familiar jingle, your children will ask for some. But budgets (or even your sanity!) can sometimes say no. It’s easier to tell your child that the ice-cream truck is sold out than to have them worry about it.
This lie is impossible without perfect timing. You’ll be asked why the truck continues to drive around while playing music if you are caught. You may have to just grin and accept it, or come up with another excuse like “the ice cream guy is on a break.”
4. The Water Police will Arrive if You Spend Too Much Time in the Shower
This is my favorite. Showers lasting an hour? No, not in my home! The “water cops” are a fun way to get kids out of the bath and to save water.
This works well. Kids are fascinated by imaginary water enforcers that will “turn off” the taps if you’re slow. It adds some fun to the otherwise mundane task of taking a shower.
5. You’re Getting out of the Car
Ah, that classic “backseat rebellion” solution. This is an effective way to make your children behave when they are screaming at each other during a ride or refuse to sit still.
You never leave them by the side of the highway. The mere thought that they may be left behind can often cause a sudden silence, or at least a temporary truce.
6. The Walls Have Ears
This is usually a problem when children are being too loud or saying things that they shouldn’t. This idea keeps children on their best behaviour, especially if you want to avoid arguments or keep secrets.
This is a good reminder that parents can still be in the room and know exactly what their children are doing. It defies logic, but it works.
7. The Battery of the iPad is Empty
In today’s technology-saturated society, limiting screen time is an ongoing battle. This fib will help you to stop your child from using the iPad, but avoid any protests.
It’s sometimes true – the battery is dead – but it’s often a cleverly staged Lie involving hiding the gadget or disabling Wi-Fi. This is about protecting your children from excessive screen time and giving yourself some rest.
8. There is No Dessert
Kids love dessert, so refusing to serve it can be a major problem. It’s a classic to say “there isn’t dessert” when you have a tempting doughnut box on the counter.
I wait until the kids are in bed to enjoy my desserts without sharing. Dessert hoarding? I’m guilty. It’s just one of those moments when a little white lie keeps me from getting caught and allows me to keep the sweets.
9. Santa Claus is Watching
Parents everywhere use Santa cards to get their kids ready for the holidays. Santa is watching encourages children to behave well with the threat of receiving gifts or coal.
It’s a bit bluff, but it’s also rooted in the desire to teach kindness and good manners in a time of excitement and sugar-fueled confusion. The Easter Bunny and, Tooth Fairy receive similar treatment.
10. If you continue to make that Face, the Facial Expression will become Stuck
Remember the scrunched-up, angry face that kids make before they throw a tantrum. This is a playful warning to try and buy you some more peace.
Although the idea that a face can get “stuck” is often a good way to stop a meltdown from escalating. Humor can be the best way to deal with toddler tantrums.
11. “Yes, it’s Chicken.”
This clever ruse is the secret weapon you can use when your child refuses to eat green, slimy veggies, but you disguise them in an old favorite.
If you want to give your child the nutrition they require without all the fuss, tell them “it’s a chicken”. Sometimes creativity is needed to win the battle against the veggies.
12. It’s Time to Go to Bed
Bedtime can be negotiated even before children can tell the time. It’s easy to end playtime by saying “it’s time for bed” without causing any arguments.
This line can be a sign that you want to take back the evening, perhaps to binge-watch Netflix or to enjoy some peace. Parents and kids both benefit from boundaries!
13. It’s Spicy
Declaring something “too hot” can be a good tactic to keep your favorite snacks (or foods) to yourself. This is a good way to keep your food safe from curious children.
It’s less about protecting the taste buds of others and more about protecting yourself. Sometimes, sharing is not an option.
14. The Shopping Centre Ride Has Broken Down Today
The coin-operated rides in the mall can be tempting, but they are often disappointing. This ruse will save you money instead of paying for 15 seconds’ worth of flashing lights and vibrations.
By telling your children that the rideis “broken”, you can avoid a meltdown and a waste of money on flimsy entertainment. Win-win!
15. The Play Centre is Closed for Today
It can be exhausting to deal with children in crowded play centres. Declaring a play center “closed” for “renovations” or “painting” will buy you a free day.
This little white lie is a great way to avoid crowded outings and not disappoint your children. Home can be the best place to play.
16. You must have misplaced that toy.
What about that noisy, irritating toy you’ve stepped on 100 times and is now beyond repair? Sometimes it just disappears.
By saying “you must have forgotten it”, you can avoid explaining the reason why the favorite toy is in the garbage and help prevent meltdowns about the “missing”. Strategic toy management is the key.
17. I’m Going without You
Stress can arise from being late. This will motivate them to get ready faster if they are dragging their feet or fighting over shoes.
You’d never leave your child alone, but the thought that you could can help speed up the process. Just make sure you have your car doors unlocked and your engine off when you say this.
18. There’s Coffee in the Drink
This ruse will keep your drinks out of the hands of children, whether it is wine or coffee. The bitter taste of coffee is not liked by kids, so calling it “coffee”,will discourage sneaky sips.
You may not want to share a drink that is a treat. Your drink will stay yours if you tell a little white lie.
19. The Tooth Fairy Did not Forget, it Just Got Lost in itItsay
If you’ve forgotten to put money underneath the pillow and the tooth fairy has disappeared, there are plenty of excuses to use.
These stories will keep the magic alive and give you some time to come up with a story before your child finds out. It seems that the tooth fairy only works on Tuesdays or can’t fly when it rains.
20. The Shop Was out of Kinder Surprise
Kinder Surprises aren’t always in the basket. If your child’s pleas are too much for you, telling them that the store is “sold out” can help.
This fib will protect your budget and sanity. The priority is to buy groceries, not a never-ending stock of chocolate eggs.
The Truth Behind These Lies
Parenting can be difficult. Juggling the needs and wants of small children who do not always understand logic or have patience is difficult. These little lies can be used to help you navigate chaos, set boundaries, and, sometimes, to keep your sanity.
It’s not easy to lie to your children, but it can be the best way to maintain calm. It’s important to balance these lies with truth and trust as your child grows.
Next time you tell one of these “lies”, don’t feel bad. You are not alone, and you are doing your best.
