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What No One Tells You Before Having Kids

The Funny and Heartfelt Truths from Real Parents

Everyone feels like an expert parent before they have children. You’re confident you have it all under control, or that it won’t be too difficult. You’ve read some books, watched some videos, and prepared yourself for sleepless nights and diaper changes. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can prepare you for what you will experience when you first bring your child home.

The “rules” of the game suddenly change. Small luxuries, like washing your hair when you want to or taking a bathroom break in privacy, become distant memories. Life with kids is filled with challenges, surprises, and hilarious moments.

We asked Babyology’s community what they wished they knew before they had children. What are the answers? Funny, real, and heartbreakingly relatable. These nuggets are like survival tips for parents, and a reminder to us all that we’re in this together.

1. Now, Shaving Your Legs is a Luxury

It is surprising how little energy and time there is to do simple self-care. One parent admitted that shaving her legs was a special occasion. We can all relate. Shaving is not an option when you have to deal with toddler tantrums and diaper changes. Showers are your short oasis and not your entire beauty routine.

What No One Tells You Before Having Kids
What No One Tells You Before Having Kids

2. Baby Wipes: The Power of Super-Sizes

Baby wipes can be used for many purposes. They are used by parents to clean sticky faces and hands, wipe down counters, and freshen themselves up after a hard day. The sentiment is unanimous: “Baby wipes are awesome for cleaning. They can clean anything!” Like a Swiss Army Knife for parents, they’re a must-have.

3. Exhaustion Like You’ve Never Known

It’s easy to hear about the sleepless nights, but you can’t truly understand how tired you will be until you go through it. It’s not just physical exhaustion, but also a feeling that is hard to describe. You keep going because you must.

4. Missing Private Bathroom Time

This one is a real hit. It’s funny but also very relatable. Parents make jokes about their children always finding them in the bathroom. Privacy becomes a rare luxury. The bathroom becomes an escape mission.

See also  The Mum Mantra

5. Bodily Fluids of Others are Always on You

Be prepared to accept the messy, messy realities of parenting. You’ll be covered in bodily fluids from your child, including spit-up, drool, sticky spots and poop.

6. Eating Like a Dinosaur

Think again if you imagined a peaceful dinner with your family. One parent described how they acted like a dinosaur at the dinner table to get their child to eat more broccoli. The mealtimes can turn into a performance, a negotiation, or a creative strategy that you never read about in countless parenting books.

7. The Secret Pantry Hiding Spot of “Sometimes Food”

You’ve probably sneaked into the pantry to get a treat, but you didn’t share it. Some parents admit to keeping chocolates and snacks for themselves because sharing is not an option in their children’s eyes.

8. One-Handed Mastery

You’ll soon learn that you’re able to do most things with one hand, whether it’s stirring the pot, answering the phone, or folding your laundry, because your other hand is occupied holding a child or fighting off a toddler who’s clinging to your leg.

9. Your Feet become Your Third Hand

Did you know that you can pick up things with your feet? Parents often use their feet to do everything when they have both hands full. This includes picking up a toy or closing a door.

10. When Your Baby Poop

It’s not as strange as it sounds. One parent confessed, “You feel relieved when your baby poop.” When you are a new mother or father, the smallest sign of health and normal routine can be a huge victory.

11. Showers Become Your Me-Time

Showering is no longer a routine. It’s you‘s time. You cherish this rare moment of relaxation, privacy, and self-care.

12. Breast Milk Magical Powers

Breast milk has almost magical properties that parents marvel at. It heals, nourishes, and comforts in a way that can feel almost superhuman. It’s no small wonder that it carries such weight in the journey of parenting.

See also  Completing Your Breastfeeding Journey

13. The Best Feeling in the World

Many parents say that having a child is one of the most amazing and life-changing events they have ever experienced. It’s hard to describe the love, bond, nd and awe that parents feel.

14. The Key to Success is to Trust Yourself

Trusting your gut instinct was a big advice given. When it feels wrong, ignore unsolicited advice. No one knows your child like you.

15. Worrying about Someone Else’s Poop

You find yourself checking the poop of other people as well as your child. It’s funny, but it’s also a side effect that comes with parenting. What? Okay, it’s an indicator of health!

16. Teething Frustration

Teething can be a difficult experience for parents. It is as painful for them as it is for their baby. Your patience will be tested by the constant drooling and fussiness of the baby, as well as sleepless nights.

17. Changes in Food Preferences Overnight

The banana is your child’s enemy one day and their favorite the next. Parents are always on the lookout for these food mood swings.

18. How Easy Life Was Before Kids

Before children, getting in and out of a car was a simple five-second process. Now? This is an event that requires strategic planning, distraction techniques, and, sometimes, a bribe.

Baby Crying so Hard
Baby Crying so Hard

19. Silence Can Be Frightening

Silence, whether day or night, can be unsettling for many parents. The kids could be doing something. It usually means trouble is brewing when the house is too silent.

20. The Mystery of the Weet-Bix bowl

It’s a universal truth among parents: If you don’t wash out the WeetBix bowl immediately, you are in for a difficult cleanup. It becomes hard and difficult to remove later.

21. How to Enjoy a Meal Without Sharing

Once, you could eat all by yourself. Everything is now shared, or “requested”. Even small moments of uninterrupted dining are a great victory.

22. Discovering All the  Verses of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Parents are often surprised to learn that Twinkle Twinkle Little Star has more than one verse. You’ll be singing them all. Repeatedly.

See also  Tough Love Does not Raise Resilient Kids

23. The Speed at Which Children Grow

They grow up fast. It may sound cliche, but it is true. The next minute, they are crawling, and the next moment, they are off to school. Every milestone is bittersweet.

24. How to Calm Down a Crying Child

Parents have found the most bizarre ways to calm a crying child. One parent shared that the only way they could stop their son crying while driving was to make cow noises.

25. Congratulating Someone for a Burp

In baby-world, a burp means more than just a little burp. It’s an important event. When their babies finally burp, parents cheer one another on. Relief washes over the room.

26. The Sound of Chocolate Wrappers

The sound of chocolate wrappers is louder than that of a storm. Unwrapping a chocolate bar is enough to bring out all the children.

27. Understand Why Your Parents Drank

Now, the wine glasses that your parents used make more sense.

28. Every Second, You Think About Someone Else

You’ll become a person who worries and thinks constantly about someone else, even if they are right next to you.

29. How to Appreciate Your Parents More

The experience of parenting can give you a fresh perspective on your upbringing. You begin to realize how much your parents have sacrificed for you and how hard they’ve worked.

Daddy Checking Kids Teeth
Daddy Checking Kids’ Teeth

30. Feeling True Love

Parents describe their experience of unconditional love for their child as being unlike anything else. It transforms your entire life.

Parenting Teaches Us Every Day.

Lessons we learn as parents not only shape our children, but they also shape us. The journey will be filled with surprises and challenges. You’ll also experience moments of joy.

If you are a new parent and feel overwhelmed or unprepared, remember that you are not alone. Even though it can be messy, exhausting, and unpredictable, it is also one of your most rewarding experiences.

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