The Funny and Heartfelt Truths from Real Parents
Everyone feels like an expert parent before they have children. You’re confident you have it all under control, or that it won’t be too difficult. You’ve read some books, watched some videos, and prepared yourself for sleepless nights and diaper changes. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can prepare you for what you will experience when you first bring your child home.
The “rules” of the game suddenly change. Small luxuries, like washing your hair when you want to or taking a bathroom break in privacy, become distant memories. Life with kids is filled with challenges, surprises, and hilarious moments.
We asked Babyology’s community what they wished they knew before they had children. What are the answers? Funny, real, and heartbreakingly relatable. These nuggets are like survival tips for parents, and a reminder to us all that we’re in this together.
1. Now, Shaving Your Legs is a Luxury
It is surprising how little energy and time there is to do simple self-care. One parent admitted that shaving her legs was a special occasion. We can all relate. Shaving is not an option when you have to deal with toddler tantrums and diaper changes. Showers are your short oasis and not your entire beauty routine.
2. Baby Wipes: The Power of Super-Sizes
Baby wipes can be used for many purposes. They are used by parents to clean sticky faces and hands, wipe down counters, and freshen themselves up after a hard day. The sentiment is unanimous: “Baby wipes are awesome for cleaning. They can clean anything!” Like a Swiss Army Knife for parents, they’re a must-have.
3. Exhaustion Like You’ve Never Known
It’s easy to hear about the sleepless nights, but you can’t truly understand how tired you will be until you go through it. It’s not just physical exhaustion, but also a feeling that is hard to describe. You keep going because you must.
4. Missing Private Bathroom Time
This one is a real hit. It’s funny but also very relatable. Parents make jokes about their children always finding them in the bathroom. Privacy becomes a rare luxury. The bathroom becomes an escape mission.
5. Bodily Fluids of Others are Always on You
Be prepared to accept the messy, messy realities of parenting. You’ll be covered in bodily fluids from your child, including spit-up, drool, sticky spots and poop.
6. Eating Like a Dinosaur
Think again if you imagined a peaceful dinner with your family. One parent described how they acted like a dinosaur at the dinner table to get their child to eat more broccoli. The mealtimes can turn into a performance, a negotiation, or a creative strategy that you never read about in countless parenting books.
7. The Secret Pantry Hiding Spot of “Sometimes Food”
You’ve probably sneaked into the pantry to get a treat, but you didn’t share it. Some parents admit to keeping chocolates and snacks for themselves because sharing is not an option in their children’s eyes.
8. One-Handed Mastery
You’ll soon learn that you’re able to do most things with one hand, whether it’s stirring the pot, answering the phone, or folding your laundry, because your other hand is occupied holding a child or fighting off a toddler who’s clinging to your leg.
9. Your Feet become Your Third Hand
Did you know that you can pick up things with your feet? Parents often use their feet to do everything when they have both hands full. This includes picking up a toy or closing a door.
10. When Your Baby Poop
It’s not as strange as it sounds. One parent confessed, “You feel relieved when your baby poop.” When you are a new mother or father, the smallest sign of health and normal routine can be a huge victory.
11. Showers Become Your Me-Time
Showering is no longer a routine. It’s you‘s time. You cherish this rare moment of relaxation, privacy, and self-care.
12. Breast Milk Magical Powers
Breast milk has almost magical properties that parents marvel at. It heals, nourishes, and comforts in a way that can feel almost superhuman. It’s no small wonder that it carries such weight in the journey of parenting.
13. The Best Feeling in the World
Many parents say that having a child is one of the most amazing and life-changing events they have ever experienced. It’s hard to describe the love, bond, nd and awe that parents feel.
14. The Key to Success is to Trust Yourself
Trusting your gut instinct was a big advice given. When it feels wrong, ignore unsolicited advice. No one knows your child like you.
15. Worrying about Someone Else’s Poop
You find yourself checking the poop of other people as well as your child. It’s funny, but it’s also a side effect that comes with parenting. What? Okay, it’s an indicator of health!
16. Teething Frustration
Teething can be a difficult experience for parents. It is as painful for them as it is for their baby. Your patience will be tested by the constant drooling and fussiness of the baby, as well as sleepless nights.
17. Changes in Food Preferences Overnight
The banana is your child’s enemy one day and their favorite the next. Parents are always on the lookout for these food mood swings.
18. How Easy Life Was Before Kids
Before children, getting in and out of a car was a simple five-second process. Now? This is an event that requires strategic planning, distraction techniques, and, sometimes, a bribe.
19. Silence Can Be Frightening
Silence, whether day or night, can be unsettling for many parents. The kids could be doing something. It usually means trouble is brewing when the house is too silent.
20. The Mystery of the Weet-Bix bowl
It’s a universal truth among parents: If you don’t wash out the WeetBix bowl immediately, you are in for a difficult cleanup. It becomes hard and difficult to remove later.
21. How to Enjoy a Meal Without Sharing
Once, you could eat all by yourself. Everything is now shared, or “requested”. Even small moments of uninterrupted dining are a great victory.
22. Discovering All the Verses of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Parents are often surprised to learn that Twinkle Twinkle Little Star has more than one verse. You’ll be singing them all. Repeatedly.
23. The Speed at Which Children Grow
They grow up fast. It may sound cliche, but it is true. The next minute, they are crawling, and the next moment, they are off to school. Every milestone is bittersweet.
24. How to Calm Down a Crying Child
Parents have found the most bizarre ways to calm a crying child. One parent shared that the only way they could stop their son crying while driving was to make cow noises.
25. Congratulating Someone for a Burp
In baby-world, a burp means more than just a little burp. It’s an important event. When their babies finally burp, parents cheer one another on. Relief washes over the room.
26. The Sound of Chocolate Wrappers
The sound of chocolate wrappers is louder than that of a storm. Unwrapping a chocolate bar is enough to bring out all the children.
27. Understand Why Your Parents Drank
Now, the wine glasses that your parents used make more sense.
28. Every Second, You Think About Someone Else
You’ll become a person who worries and thinks constantly about someone else, even if they are right next to you.
29. How to Appreciate Your Parents More
The experience of parenting can give you a fresh perspective on your upbringing. You begin to realize how much your parents have sacrificed for you and how hard they’ve worked.
30. Feeling True Love
Parents describe their experience of unconditional love for their child as being unlike anything else. It transforms your entire life.
Parenting Teaches Us Every Day.
Lessons we learn as parents not only shape our children, but they also shape us. The journey will be filled with surprises and challenges. You’ll also experience moments of joy.
If you are a new parent and feel overwhelmed or unprepared, remember that you are not alone. Even though it can be messy, exhausting, and unpredictable, it is also one of your most rewarding experiences.
