What Happens When Kids Exercise?
You know that if you have ever squeezed in a workout when you are a parent, it is less about “fitness goals” and more like “survival mode” in sneakers.
Exercise with children is an experience that’s unlike any other. Whether you are a new mother eager to get back into shape or a parent who wants to take some time for themselves, working out with your kids can be a truly unique experience. By unique, I’m referring to a beautiful, chaotic, sweaty, and often hilarious juggling show that makes you wonder if you are training for a race or the circus.
Let’s face it, parenting is a workout. You’re doing cardio by chasing toddlers, bending down 500 times per day to pick toys up, holding a baby while stirring spaghetti on the other hip, or walking around the house looking for missing socks. There’s still something rewarding about setting aside time for exercise, even if it quickly gets derailed by small, opinionated humans.
Here are eight things that happen almost whenever you exercise with children. Welcome to the club if you have experienced one or more of these. You’ve been through them all? You deserve a trophy. You deserve a trophy.
1. Your Workout Becomes Instantly A Jungle Gym Session
You are now in the right position, ready to do some push-ups or maybe even a plank before your breakfast. You have your app loaded, your mat out, and even remembered to wear a sports bra. ).
Then… BOOM. Before you could count to five, a toddler had mounted you and shouted “GIDDY-UP, HORSEY!”
Your workout will suddenly become a rodeo, with your hair being used as reins. A child can use every stretch or squat as an opportunity to slide under you or hang from your limbs like in a human limbo game.
These impromptu acrobatics may burn calories. They’ll also leave you with a swollen hip and a broken spirit.
Pro tip: Try getting up from the floor next time you want core work while two children actively try to pin you down. Instant six-pack.
2. You Get Sucked Into a Kids’ Movie Instead
The plan was straightforward. You could even take a short walk around the block for 20 minutes. Then someone said, “Mum, can you turn on Bluey?” And before you knew it, you were curled up in front of the TV, watching an entire episode where you ended up crying because the cartoon dogs captured parenting’s complexity better than any other show.
You’re emotionally spent by the time you see the credits. The idea of running feels like climbing Everest.
Yes, it may happen more than once. Exercise plans can’t always compete with the hypnotic glow from the screen, and the rare chance to cuddle your child when they’re not screaming or throwing food.
3. Your Kids Develop an Uncontrollable Craving
Finally, you carve out 30 minutes to exercise. Everyone is fed. Toys are out. When you press “play”, your exercise video starts… then, you hear: “MUMMMM I’m starvinggg.”
They just ate. Although breakfast was only five minutes ago.
You return to the kitchen and prepare their third breakfast snack of the day – apple slices, crackers, or bananas, or another bowl of cereal – because the energy required to argue is simply not worth it. The workout window is shrinking by the time the kids are satisfied.
Most mums who exercise repeat this cycle. It seems that hunger strikes more violently when you do something for yourself.
4. Your Breasts and Possibly Your Bladder Stage a Rebellion
Exercise can be a little… risky. It’s especially important if you are breastfeeding.
As you begin jumping, you can feel the dampness that comes with a milk leak. Your sports bra’s soaked, and your T-shirt is stuck to you. You have no backup. Bonus points if you have a leaking boob while at the gym, or on a stroll with your baby.
There’s still more.
You may not have regained bladder function if you are less than 12 months postpartum. A quick burpee or sneeze could lead to another surprise. A double betrayal.
Reminder: Postpartum body is strong and resilient butt also has quirks. Always carry a spare bra. Maybe even spare underwear. You never know.
5. The Creche or Childcare Plan is in Flames
You’ve committed. You’ve left the kids in the gym creche. You’re running on the treadmill with AirPods, and you feel invincible. Your number appears on the screen as you feel your endorphins start to flow.
You feel your heart sink.
Perhaps your child sneezed. They may be inconsolable. Someone didn’t share a toy, and the result was a meltdown. You’re called in for whatever reason.
Warm-ups are the most important part of your workout. Your workout playlist is cut short. Your workout playlist is now a matter of emotional triage, not cardio.
Some mums may try again the following week. Some mums decide to do home workouts, complete with Paw Patrol reruns and background whining. You’ve either learned to be flexible with your expectations.
6. Your Child Insists on Exercising with You…
“Mum, may I do this with you?”
It all starts so sweetly. Your child mimics your movements as you do lunges. It’s adorable. It’s adorable.
After about 2.5 minutes, your little buddy will lose interest.
Or pick up bugs. Or you can pick up some bugs. Ask 20 questions in rapid succession about whether you would rather fight a shark or a dinosaur. They want you to join them.
You’ve just completed five sit-ups, and you’ve also learned a little bit about nature. It’s not exactly what you were expecting, but it will serve as a good memory.
7. You End up Pushing a Pram and Carrying an Empty Child
This is a classic mom workout: the pram run that becomes a toddler carrying.
You have planned to go for a stroll or run with your youngest child safely strapped in the stroller. Your older child becomes tired. What happens then? What happens?
This I hardcore. While you’re doing cardio and weight training, you are also answering questions such as “Why is the blue sky?” and “Can an ant get sunburned?”
This level of resistance training is something that gym trainers should strive to replicate.
8. Even if You Forget to exercise, you Still Wear Activewear All Day
Even the best of us can be affected by this.
Your morning starts with you getting dressed in activewear. You tell yourself, “I will squeeze in a quick session of HIIT while the baby is napping.”
Then life happens. Then life happens. A sudden nappy eruption, a school run, an unexpected video, or a tantrum about the “wrong-coloured” spoon. And suddenly it’s four o’clock in the afternoon and you’ve barely moved from the kitchen.
At least, you will look like a professional. Let’s face it, activewear can be incredibly comfortable.
Some days, wins the day.
What is the Real Workout? Being a Parent
Mums are to be commended. It’s not easy to exercise when you have kids with you. It’s noisy, unpredictable, and interrupted. And it often results in someone crying. ).
It’s beautiful, but in its chaotic way. These imperfect exercises are reminders of our efforts. We’re doing our best to be fit, even if the results don’t look like those in magazines. We’re trying our best to balance healthy habits with caring for others and maintain our sanity, one squat at a time.
It doesn’t matter if you did a 30-minute workout or wore activewear while running “mum sprints” through the supermarket. All of it counts.
