Each child has a world of dreams, fears and curiosity. The words we use as parents have incredible power. The words we choose to speak can have a powerful impact on our children. They can instil confidence, foster a sense of security and influence how they see themselves and their world. What every child needs to hear from their parents is the basis of their self-worth, as well as the lens they use to navigate through life’s challenges.
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There are timeless truths that every child should hear in this world of constant change. They are messages that tell them that they are loved without condition, that their feelings are important, and that there is strength in facing anything that life may throw at them. It’s not just about rules or praise — it’s also about understanding and guidance.
In this article, we will explore the essential words every child wants to hear. Words that empower, comfort, and help them become confident, compassionate adults. Sometimes, saying the right thing at the right moment can make a child’s entire life.
1. You’re Allowed to Be Angry
As adults, many of us are still learning how to manage our emotions. Anger, frustration, anxiety, and sadness don’t magically disappear with age. Emotional regulation is a lifelong skill, and it begins in childhood. We can’t expect children to handle their feelings calmly if they don’t know those feelings are acceptable in the first place.
Tell your children:
“It’s okay to feel angry, disappointed, or overwhelmed. These are normal feelings.”
Then show them how to deal with those feelings in healthy ways—take a breath, talk it out, punch a pillow if needed. What matters most is how we respond, not that we experience the emotion in the first place. Letting them know that anger is not something to be ashamed of helps them develop emotional intelligence and self-control.
2. I Am Here to Help You
In a world that sometimes feels too big and too fast, children need to know they’re not facing it alone. Simply being there for your child, physically and emotionally, makes a huge difference. Sometimes they won’t want to talk, and that’s okay. Just sitting with them, offering a quiet presence, can be comforting.
Whether it’s helping with homework, wiping tears, or listening to them recount a dream they had about a talking cat and a flying pizza, your steady presence sends a powerful message: “You’re not alone in this.”
Children who feel supported develop stronger resilience and are more likely to reach out for help when they need it later in life.
3. I Would Like to Play With You
Play is the language of children. It’s how they express themselves, learn about the world, and bond with the people they love. Even if you’re tired (which, let’s be honest, is most of the time), carving out just five to ten minutes to sit and play, even if it’s building a wonky tower out of blocks or pretending to be a dinosaur, means everything to your child.
You don’t have to spend hours doing elaborate crafts or playing make-believe. A short burst of engaged, undistracted play tells your child, “I see you. I enjoy being with you.” These moments add up. They become cherished memories for your child and help strengthen your bond.
4. You Can Make Mistakes
Mistakes are how we learn. We all know this, but for children, especially those who feel pressure to be “good” or “smart,” the fear of messing up can be overwhelming. That’s why they need to hear regularly that it’s okay to try and fail.
Let your child know that mistakes are not only acceptable but expected. Whether they spill milk, lose their temper, or get an answer wrong on a test, they need reassurance that they are loved not despite their imperfections, but with them.
Model this by admitting your own mistakes when appropriate:
“I shouldn’t have yelled earlier. I was frustrated, and I’m sorry.”
This teaches children that making a mistake doesn’t define them, it’s how we respond afterwards that matters.
5. Please Accept My Sincere Thanks
Gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to build a positive atmosphere in your home. Saying “thank you” to your child, yes, even for small things like brushing their teeth without a reminder, teaches them that their efforts are noticed and appreciated.
It also shows them how to express gratitude themselves. Children who grow up hearing “please” and “thank you” from their parents are more likely to speak respectfully to others and recognise the good in everyday moments.
Even when you’re tired and they’ve only halfway helped, say thank you. It’s not about perfection—it’s about encouragement.
6. I understand
Children have big feelings about small things. What seems trivial to us—running out of red jellybeans, not getting to sit in “their” chair, having to wear the blue socks instead of the green ones—can feel monumental to them. And while it’s tempting to brush these concerns aside, what they need is to be heard.
Saying “I understand” doesn’t mean you’re agreeing to let them have chocolate for breakfast. It means you acknowledge their feelings before guiding them toward a better solution.
Example:
“I understand you want chocolate this morning. Chocolate is delicious. But we need to have something healthier first, so your body gets the energy it needs.”
This teaches empathy, reasoning, and mutual respect.
7. You Make Me Very Proud
Children crave our approval. When they know that their actions—whether big or small—make us proud, their confidence grows. Being proud of your child doesn’t have to wait for milestones or report cards.
Let them know you’re proud when they try something new, show kindness, or simply do the right thing when it’s hard.
“I’m so proud of how you shared your toys today. That was very thoughtful.”
“You tried hard on that drawing, I can see how much effort you put in.”
Your pride in them becomes part of their internal voice, helping them believe in themselves even when you’re not there.
8. You Are Stronger Than Your Thoughts
Anxiety, self-doubt, and negative self-talk creep into children’s minds earlier than we’d like to believe. Sometimes, they worry they’re not smart enough, fast enough, funny enough, or good enough. We need to remind them regularly that those thoughts don’t define them.
“You are stronger than the voice that says you can’t.”
“You are braver than you feel.”
“You are capable, even when things are hard.”
When we help children build resilience early, they’re better equipped to handle life’s challenges as they grow.
9. Take Your Time
In a world obsessed with speed, we sometimes forget that development isn’t a race. Every child learns and grows at their own pace. One child may read fluently at four, another at seven. One may be outgoing; another may take time to warm up to others.
Permit your children to move at their own rhythm. Let them know it’s okay not to have everything figured out right now.
“I’ll wait for you.”
“Take the time you need.”
“You’re doing just fine.”
Patience fosters trust, security, and a sense of self-worth.
10. It’s Okay for You to Be Different
There is no one “right” way to be a child. Some children are loud and energetic; others are quiet and observant. Some love math, while others are budding artists. Our job is to help them see their uniqueness not as a flaw, but as a gift.
Being different isn’t just okay, it’s wonderful. The world needs all kinds of people.
“Normal is just a setting on the washing machine,” as the saying goes. And it’s true.
11. I Love You
Say it every day. Even when you’re mad. Even when they’re mad. Even when they pretend they don’t care. Say it in the morning when they wake up, after school, before bed, and every time in between.
“I love you” is the thread that holds everything together. It’s the message children need to hear more than anything else.
You may think they already know it, and they probably do. But hearing it out loud, regularly and sincerely, is what truly cements it in their hearts.
Parenting Might Be The Hardest Job
Let’s be honest, parenting is harder than most of us ever imagined. Before having kids, many of us envisioned calm routines, healthy meals, and sweet bedtime stories. But real-life parenting is messy, loud, unpredictable, and exhausting.
Still, at its heart, parenting is about love. Not just the love we feel, but the love we show and say every day.
We can’t control everything. We will lose our tempers. We will forget picture day. We’ll say the wrong thing, forget the right thing, and sometimes yell when we should have hugged. But the words we choose most often are the ones that shape our children’s lives.
So give yourself credit. You’re doing better than you think. And the fact that you’re reading this right now? That means you care deeply.
Let your children hear that care in your words, in your apologies, in your silly songs, in your bedtime whispers. And remember, above all else:
You’ve got this.
And your kids are lucky to have you.
