What Makes You So Sensitive As A New Mum
Being a mother can be one of the most powerful emotional experiences in your life. Along with the overwhelming love, awe, and pride can come tears of self-doubt and worry. There may even be moments of panic when a passing statement is made. You are not “too sensitive” if you have found yourself overanalyzing a question or crying over a spilled glass of milk. You’re a mother.
[ez-toc]
What’s going on? Why do these feelings feel so intense? And how can you protect your emotional well-being during this time of great change and transformation?
Understanding the Emotional Whirlwind that Early Motherhood Brings
You are physically healing. You’re exhausted. You are hormonally overwhelmed. You are learning to take care of a newborn, with little or no rest. Emotionally? You may feel as if you are riding a wave that you did not expect and can’t get out of.
We’ll explore the reasons for this vulnerability.
1. The First Big Culprit of Postpartum Hormones
The hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy and childbirth are among the most drastic changes an individual can undergo.
Estrogen and Progesterone Spray
levels of estrogen and progesterone, two hormones that were high during pregnancy, suddenly fall after birth. You may feel groggy, emotionally unstable, and flat after this hormonal crash. The “baby blues” can last for several weeks, and not just the first few days after birth.
Prolactin and Oxytocin Swell
Oxytocin and prolactin both rise at the same time. While oxytocin may be associated with love, connection, and intimacy, it can also make you feel more raw and empathic. It increases your awareness and makes you more aware of your baby, but also more sensitive to any perceived threats or judgments.
2. Your Brain is Being Rewired
Brain scans have shown that the mother’s brain changes physically after she gives birth.
The brain’s key areas, including those that are responsible for:
- Empathy
- Fear detection
- Decision-making
- Social understanding
You can be more responsive to the needs of your child, but you may also feel more hypersensitive towards everything else. Your brain is ready to perceive every comment or glance as a potential threat, as your protective instincts have been turned up to the maximum.
3. Sleep Deprivation Amplifies Emotions
Sleep is more than just rest. It’s also emotional regulation, brain repair, and stress management. Sleeping in short bursts is common for new mums, and they may even go days or weeks with no uninterrupted sleep. This constant disruption of sleep can cause:
- Swings in mood
- Brain fog
- Irritability
- Anxiety levels are elevated
- Feelings that you are overwhelmed
Even the smallest of tasks can become monumental without rest.
4. You Live in a State of Constant Hypervigilance
New mothers often operate in a mode of hypervigilance–being constantly alert to the baby’s cues, breathing, feeding, sleeping, or crying. This mental load can be exhausting and mentally draining. This means that it has little capacity to regulate emotions. This leads to sensitivity and outbursts.
5. The Pressures of Society and Social Life are Enormous
In our society, perfectionism is often praised in parenting. Social media is filled with pictures of picture-perfect children, matching outfits, and glowing mothers. Real life is very different.
- Leaky boobs
- Messy kitchens
- Tears in the early morning hours
- Even in a crowd of people, you can still feel lonely
Most new mothers have a strong desire “to get it right”, to be a natural, intuitive, and organized mother who doesn’t snap or doubt herself. This pressure can lead to chronic self-criticism and comparisons.
6. Sudden Life Change and Loss of Identity
The loss of identity is one of the most shocking aspects of motherhood. You used to be an independent person with hobbies and a career. Your days are now dominated by feeding, nappies, and naps, with your needs being put last.
The sudden change in identity can cause:
- Feeling invisible and forgotten
- Resentment or guilt?
- You are no longer the person you used to be
All of these things can lead to emotional vulnerability, particularly if you don’t feel supported or seen.
7. Micro-Stresses Accumulate Quickly
The emotional dam is often bursting because of the small repeated moments. Someone comments on the size of your baby. You spilled coffee. You haven’t taken a shower for two days. You don’t know if you responded to your friend.
The cumulative effect of these small stressors can lead to an emotional tipping point.
How to Deal with Emotional Sensitivity As a New Mum
Understanding why you feel as you do is only the beginning. You can actively protect your mental health in this sensitive period.
1. Speak up, Even When it Feels Hard
You are not a load. Repeat: You are not a burden.
You can tell someone how you feel. It could be your partner, a close friend, a GP, or a therapist. Don’t wait until it gets worse before you tell someone what you are feeling. This could be your partner, a friend, a G, P, or a therapist. The first step to relief is talking.
2. Prioritize Rest–Even Over Chores
Let’s forget the dishes. Vacuuming is not necessary. You should nap if you can. Even 20 minutes of lying down with your eyes shut can be beneficial. You can ask for help with feedings at night. Rest is not luxury, but survival.
3. Fuel Your Body, Fuel Your Mind
Try to eat regularly and choose foods that are nutrient-dense, such as those with iron, protein, and healthy fats. You can quickly and easily eat nutritious foods like bone broth, eggs, and oats. If you are feeling depleted, consider seeing a nutritionist.
4. Raise the Support, Lower the Bar
It’s okay if your child watches some TV. It’s okay if your dinner is toast. It’s okay to cry. You don’t need to do everything. Accept help.
5. Mind Your Mental Health
Talk to your doctor or a maternal-child health nurse if you feel low, anxious, overwhelmed, or numb for longer than two weeks. It is common, and it can be treated. You are not weak. You are not by yourself. You deserve support.
6. Use Gentle Self-talk and Affirmations
Your inner voice matters. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
- “I am doing my best.”
- It won’t be forever.
- “I am a good mother, even when I’m feeling unsure.”
- “My baby does not need to be perfect, just me.”
7. Reconnect Yourself
Even if you’re feeling a bit lost, you are still you. Try journaling or short walks. You can also use a favorite playlist or a 5-minute app for meditation. You can reconnect with yourself by implementing small rituals.
Last Words: “You are more than Enough.”
It is a beautiful, intense, and overwhelming experience to be a new mother. It’s not only you if you feel emotionally sensitive. Every comment can cut deep, and every mistake is huge. It’s biology. It’s sleep. It’s hormones. It’s love. It’s a transformation.
You are not broken. You are changing.
Next time you feel yourself spinning after an innocent question, just take a deep breath. Remember what is true. Reach out for help, because your baby and you both matter.
