33 Things Only Mums of Boys Will Understand
When you laugh at his love of doodles, you know you’ve got a boy. It’s true, boys are known for their cute obsession with their bodies. But that is just the beginning.
Raising boys can be a rollercoaster like no other. It is messy, noisy, sometimes smelly, and filled with moments that will make you laugh out loud while shaking your head. You know what I’m talking about if you are a mother of boys.
What does it mean to have boys? What are the signs and quirks of having boys that all mums will agree with, sometimes with a tired laugh, sometimes a tired sigh?
Here’s 33 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re A Mum Of Boys — a list that celebrates chaos, joy, absolute madness, and the boundless affection of raising little boys.
1. You Can Confidently Tell the Difference Between a Digger and a Bulldozer
You might get a shrug if you ask a random stranger to explain the difference. Mums of boys, what about you? We know. We know their name, color, sound, size, and how they work. You’ve probably mastered a lot of vocabulary, unintentionally.
When you are driving by a construction site, your child points excitedly and shouts, “Look, Mum!” You nod, ready to impress your friends with your knowledge.
2. You’ve Been Peeed on, Water-pistol Style, During a Nappy Change
This is like a rite of passage. It can be a surprise to change a boy’s diaper. Some of the surprises include a sudden stream of urine. It’s important to be prepared for the unexpected and keep your sense of humor while you avoid the spray.
If you aren’t laughing, then you probably cry. Most mums of boys just smile and wear their pee-soaked clothing like a badge.
3. Thomas the Tank Engine Trains can be identified by their colour
It might look like a bunch of toy trains from the outside. What do you see? Thomas is a blue. Percy, a green. James, a red. Gordon, ‘big and blue. Your son insists that you know who each character is. Who can blame him? These characters are not just toys; they are little heroes and friends.
4. Your Boy Falls Asleep on Your Lap and You Wonder How He Got Such Beautiful Lashes
Boys can indeed be loud, rough, and noisy, but you are amazed at how peaceful and soft they become when they sleep on you. You marvel at their delicate details, such as those long lashes, the soft cheeks, and tiny fingers. This tender moment reminds you of the little soul that needs your protection and love beneath all the noise.
5. You Will Always Find Poop on the Toilet Seat (and floor)
The bathroom can be a dangerous place for your son, no matter how many times you remind him to aim with care or lift the toilet seat. In a family with boys, it is not uncommon for them to pee on the toilet, the floor, and even the walls.
You will become a master cleaner, and you’ll develop ninja-like reflexes that allow you to detect the smallest puddles first. You learn to always keep disinfectant nearby.
6. You Can’t Relate to Your Friend Complaining about Her Fashionista Daughter Taking Ages to Pick Out an Outfit because Your Son is a Nudist
Your boy is not rummaging through tiny shoes and dresses like your friends. He would rather be naked.
Dressing a toddler boy is a futile exercise. The clothes get in their way. They want to be free and run and jump around without any restrictions.
Celebrate any outfit that lasts longer than 5 minutes.
7. Silence in Another Room is Never a Good Thing
Alarm bells should go off if you hear silence from your son’s play area. Silence is a warning sign for boys, who are boisterous creatures.
Silence is a sign that you should check in, whether it’s an accident, a lamp is broken, or something else.
8. It Sounds More Like a Dinosaur Than a Human Child is Living in Your House
Boys do not whisper. Boys roar and stomp as if they were Jurassic World’s king. Sometimes your home can feel like a jungle from prehistoric times.
But the stomps, roars, and shouts are a product of boundless imagination. What about being honest? You know what?
9. Cicada Season is Coming Soon!
Mothers of boys can develop an unexpected appreciation for nature’s rhythms, particularly when the cicada season rolls around.
Why? The cicadas provide a background soundtrack to your son’s outdoor activities. They chirp in the background while he explores, hunts for bugs, and collects stones.
10. You Can Switch Between Exasperation and Pure Love
You’re about to scream when he covers you in mud again, but then your heart fills with joy as he squeezes you tightly and whispers, “I love YOU, Mum.”
It’s a roller coaster ride to be a parent of boys. You will experience intense emotions, including frustration and love.
11. Then You Realize That There Are No Children in the Car after Dropping Them Off at Daycare
You get so used to pointing out trucks, diggers, or fire engines that you sometimes forget your sons are not with you.
You are alone in your car, and you’re talking to yourself about that concrete truck you saw.
12. Your Feet have LEGO Callouses
Step on a Lego Brick in Bare Feet? Painful. Step on hundreds of people? This is a rite of passage that mothers of boys must go through.
LEGO bricks are everywhere in the house – the living room, hallway, and even your bed. You quickly learn that you must walk with care or face the consequences.
13. You know that to Your Little Boy, a Pot-plant and a Toilet are the same
Sometimes boys aim, but their aim isn’t quite right. A pot plant can be a good target.
It’s not easy to teach and remind him.
14. He Wrestles with His Dad and Saves His Hugs and Gentle Touches for You
It’s not uncommon for fathers to have a close relationship with their sons. The bond is rough, full of wrestling and play-fighting.
When your son wants to be smothered and showered with gentle affection, Mum is the safe harbor.
15. You know what a “Tree Wee” is
You may not have heard about this classic moment where a boy is distracted in the middle of peeing and sprays a tree or anything else nearby instead of the toilet.
It’s an everyday part of boyhood that is hilarious to everyone (except the cleaner).
16. The Latest Limb is Being Wrapped in Plaster Room
Boys will experience bumps, bruises, and broken bones.
You’ve probably spent a lot of time in waiting rooms and emergency rooms with a plaster cast, wondering what happened.
17. The Only Person Who has to “Hold it In” at the Park
When the boys are playing and exploring, Mum often has to hold in her desire for the toilet. Who has time to leave when they’re supervising boys?
18. When you have a Bad Day and your Tears Get the Better of you, a Little Voice Asks, “Are you okay, mum?”
Boys are incredibly empathic, despite the chaos and exhaustion.
Their little voices will check on you when you feel overwhelmed to remind you that you are loved and needed.
19. About 20 Times a Day, You Say “Flush The Loo”
Reminders about bathroom etiquette are never-ending. You’re almost always saying “Flush that loo!”
You know you have lost at least one battle when you see unflushed toilets in front of you.
20. He Picks Up Flowers or Weeds, but You Don’t Care Because He Is Just in Love
It doesn’t matter how much dirt he pulls up or what weeds. What counts is the thought.
You will always be touched by those small gifts.
21. He Thumps His Brother and You Know It’s His Version Of A Cuddle
Boys uniquely show affection. It’s not always a hug, but it is love.
You’ll learn to read between lines – and the bruises.
22. You Will be Ripped Out of your Heart as He Speeds Down the Hill on his Bike with his Feet off the Pedals
It’s both terrifying and thrilling to watch your daredevil child take risks.
You breathe in, pray, and tell yourself that he is growing up and becoming more independent.
23. The Words that your Three-year-old Son Loves to Use are Wee, Bums, Bums, and Fart
The appeal of these words is eternal.
These come out when you are trying to be serious, at dinner, in public, or even just walking down the street.
24. You Don’t Need to Bother Getting New Carpet or Soft Furnishings “for a few years at least”
Why buy pristine carpets if you know that spills, stains, and other messes will happen?
Accept that your house will be marked by the boyhood of its inhabitants and proudly wear these marks.
25. You Roll Over in Your Sleep
Toy Car or truck, Because Your Boy Left there
You find yourself in agony at night after stepping on a toy that you forgot.
The joy of raising boys is worth the pain, but it’s not cheap.
26. Armpit Farts are White Noise for You
Boys and their never-ending fart jokes
Either you learn to laugh, or you learn to tune out.
Sometimes, it’s both.
27. You arrive at the Park Early and find another Mum of a Boy Who “just had to get Him Out to Burn Off Steam.”
You will instantly bond with other mothers of boys because you know the need for space and fresh air for your little wild men.
28. Your Handbag Contains your Wallet, Keys, a Change of Undies, Baby Wipes, Three Toy Cars, and a Rock that your Toddler Found
Your handbag contains a small museum of treasures from your boyhood.
In the chaos, you will find stones, toys, wipes, and even toy cars.
29. When you ask your Son if He Needs to go to the Toilet, He Will Answer, “No, just like to hold it.”
You asked, but it was not a petty emergency.
Accepting the quirks of boys is important.
30. Daily, More Time is spent on standing on Lego, fixing Lego, and retrieving Lego from the Vacuum Cleaner than on showering or brushing your Teeth
LEGO is everywhere and demands your attention.
You will become an expert in building, repairing, and rescuing.
31. You’ve Seen All Three Cars Movies
Lightning McQueen Adventures has been viewed more than you can count.
It’s both a ritual for bonding and a guilty delight.
32. Feathers and Ninja Turtles are in your Pocket at work because they were Precious Things that you asked to hold on the Way to Kindy
From school to work, you will find yourself surrounded by little treasures.
You’re never alone.
33. You know you Will Always Have His Heart, and He Yours
The love between a mother and her sons is unbreakable, despite the dirt, noise, chaos, and endless laundry.
No matter how much he grows or how far away he goes, you will always love him as your little boy.
Conclusion
It is an amazing, challenging, and rewarding journey to be a mother of boys.
Take a minute to laugh about the pee on your floor, the dinosaur roars, and the piles of Lego. These moments will pass, but what about the love? This love lasts forever.
Do you have any other “you’ll know you have a son when…” moments? Your stories and laughter in the comments would be great!
