Truths About Sleep-deprived Mums

It’s a fact: new motherhood is a sleepless experience.

Sure, you expect exhaustion. What is the reality? But it’s not the same. Standing in the shower, wondering if you washed your head or if it’s just a dream. You stare into the refrigerator at 3 pm, trying to remember where you were going. You’re blinking through tears in the early hours of the morning, while cradling an infant who won’t sleep, and wondering how you will make it through your day.

You’re not the only one. This is a raw, intense stage that’s not for the weak of heart. What about the other side? It’s temporary. It’s temporary.

I’ve been there twice as a mother and want to share some truths that have helped me through those bleary-eyed, relentless days and nights. They are the reminders that I held onto when I felt I couldn’t handle another night of interrupted sleep. The reminders didn’t eliminate the fatigue, but they did give me perspective.

When you are awake again in the dark at 2 am, remember these 8 facts. 

8 Truths About Sleep-Deprived Mums

1. It is completely normal for your baby to wake up at night

Yes, even at 3 months. Even at 6 months. Even after you believed that you had nailed it.

It is not abnormal for babies to wake up at night, despite what some social media sites or well-meaning family members may suggest. In the dark, they’re hardwired to look for food, comfort, and reassurance. This is how they thrive and survive.

They don’t realise that the night is for sleeping, or that their mother has a long list of things to do tomorrow. It’s not that they are failing, but rather that they just want you. This is a sign they are comfortable enough with you to contact you whenever they need.

Instead of asking, “Why won’t my child sleep through the night? “, perhaps a better question would be: “How can I support myself during this phase?”

It is just a phase. One day they will sleep like logs, and you won’t be the centre of their universe at 2 am.

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2. You are not alone

The loneliness that comes with new motherhood can be a surprise. You might feel alone in the middle of the night when your baby’s cry is louder than you think, and the world appears to be asleep.

But there’s a comforting truth to this: you are not.

There are mums like you in your neighbourhood, city, or even street. They are rocking their babies, warming up bottles, and singing lullabies to themselves, while silently counting down the minutes until dawn.

This shared experience is a beautiful thing. We’re all in the boat, even though we aren’t in the same place. Just knowing this can sometimes make the hours seem lighter. 

3. Your baby loves you for it

It’s not something they can express, but when you pick them up at night, offer comfort, food or even just your warm hands, they feel it. They feel loved. They feel loved. They feel seen.

What about that cuddle at 2 am? It’s not a waste.

Even though nighttime parenting can be just as important, if not even more so than daytime parenting, it is still very much worth doing. You teach your child that you are always there, even at the quietest and darkest times.

This consistency is the basis for emotional safety and trust. This builds strong bonds.

One day, they will be older and can sleep soundly in their beds. That deep-down feeling of security will still exist. You’re doing now?

4. Moonlight Cuddles are a Quiet Magic

Sleep deprivation is brutal. Let’s stop romanticising it. There are pockets of magic within sleep deprivation.

The quietness of the night. Your baby snuggling into your chest. The way their gentle breath rises and falls against your skin. Their tiny hand wraps around your finger.

These are moments you won’t see again.

While you are tempted to jump back into bed, and who wouldn’t? Try to capture a mental picture every so often. These quiet, intimate moments you share with your child are unique to the short season.

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5. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you

I’ll say it loud and clear, your baby waking up in the middle of the night does not reflect your parenting abilities. You haven’t bought the correct swaddle or read the right book.

Your baby is still a baby.

You are not damaged. You’re doing nothing wrong. You’re doing what mothers have done for generations, responding with love and care, even when you’re at your absolute limit.

Let go of your guilt. Let go of comparison. Let go of the comparison.

You are enough. You are enough.

6. This phase won’t last forever

It feels like it has been going on for a long time. You feel like you have aged ten years in just three months. You’ll never be able to feel rested. You’ll never be able to sleep again.

It will end.

Soon, your baby’s sleep will be a little bit longer. Next, a little bit more. You’ll be in a panic one night because they haven’t cried a single tear. They’ll eventually fall asleep and stay asleep without any fuss.

When that happens, you will truly value your bed. You’ll be able to enjoy a magical, luxurious bed that you used to take for granted.

Don’t be surprised to find yourself stroking your blanket and whispering sweet words to your pillow one day. It happens. It happens.

7. You can handle sleep deprivation

Yes, it’s awful. It wears you out. You’re more resilient than you think.

You’ve already been through a lot: work, recovery, challenges with feeding, learning the baby’s signals, and you’re still standing. (Wobbling maybe, but upright.)

Take a nap when your baby does (yes, this is real). Take all the coffee. Accept help – no medals of martyrdom for us! Laundry piles up. While holding your child, watch TV. Takeout is available. Say no to anything that feels too much.

Sleep deprivation is not a “right” thing to do. It’s about what works best for you.

If no one has said it: Your work is incredible.

8. You might miss this one day

That sounds absurd, I know. Stay with me.

You will feel an ache when you look back at this time, perhaps on their first anniversary or the first day they go to daycare. You will hold their hand as it grows and remember the time when it was barely around your finger. You’ll remember those moonlit nights when you rocked them in their big-kid beds.

You might miss it. The intimacy. The intimacy. Love was pulsating through the night, a fierce, messy love.

You might even find yourself smiling wistfully and saying, “Remember the nights when she wouldn’t go to sleep unless I was holding her?”

The motherhood experience is full of contradictions. It is both beautiful and hard. It’s exhausting and holy. Sweet and brutal. Sometimes the seasons that are the most difficult to endure will be those we remember the longest.

The Love Letter for Every Tired Mother

You are not alone in your sleepless nights. You are not failing. And you will emerge stronger, softer and more closely bonded with your baby.

Relax and enjoy every moment. You don’t need to. Try to pay attention to a few of them. Be kind to yourself. Reduce the bar. Celebrate small victories, like brushing your teeth and drinking a cup of hot tea.

When in doubt, always return to these truths. These are not just words, but a reminder from one mother to another of that you have been seen, that you are doing enough and that this too will pass.

Hold on, mama. The sun will soon be shining.