Parents share their “crazy toddler nighttime routines” and you are not alone!

Mum and sleeping toddler

A parent on Reddit shared their son’s bedtime routine — which surprisingly involved a puppy and a piece of fruit — inviting others to document similar toddler tales. Not only were others keen to tell all, their stories are blinking hilarious and involve incredibly prescriptive and eccentric evening rituals. 

Crazy toddler nighttime routines from Parenting

“Nighttime orange”

“Recently my son developed a ‘nighttime orange’ thing,” Redditor Fishsocks posted. “He wants to hold an orange, in addition to his puppy, in bed. He doesn’t eat it, just holds it. What oddball routine does your kid do or need to have at night to get to bed?”

Here are just a few of the stories exhausted parents of preschoolers offered up. We share them here to reassure you that you are NOT alone if you have a tiny bedtime dictator or eccentric at your place …

1. The nightstand snoozer

“I had to confiscate my son’s nightstand because he kept trying to sleep on it instead of in his bed. At first he was just resting his head on it but more and more of his body ended up on it until he was pretty much entirely on it. He started waking up like an hour earlier and super cranky so it obviously wasn’t restful sleep.” – Reddit user Jmee10

2. Lotion plz

“My daughter wants a dab of lotion on the bottom of each foot … not rubbed in, just dabbed on. Half the time she’ll try to sleep with her feet up so it doesn’t get rubbed in by touching the mattress. Kids are SO WEIRD! But absolutely awesome.” – Reddit user Mcspanksalot

3. Kiss my blankie

“I’m required to hug and kiss one of the eleven (no exaggeration) swaddling blankets our two-year-old sleeps with.” – Reddit user Mancake

4. Don’t touch my acorn

“My son had a phase where he would hold an acorn from the park. It was balled in his fist and he held it so tightly that it would still be in his hand in the morning. I can’t remember how long it lasted, but he stopped eventually and moved onto other oddball habits.” – Reddit user TriniTornado

5. The Belly Button clause

“My son has to touch my belly button. He will cry in his sleep if he wants it and can’t find it. He will ask me randomly throughout the day “where belly button go?” Lift my shirt and say “there it is!” Then touch it.” – Reddit user TheJills

6. Midnight snack

“My son often insists on holding a kitchen spatula or cooking spoon while sleeping. It’s totally ridiculous but also super cute.” – Reddit user _Cinza

7. Sad shade

“My daughter has a giant stuffed cat who sleeps on her right side, her pink puppy that sleeps on her left side, her soft baby doll that has a rattle inside, and a pink pair of sunglasses. The sunglasses broke recently and she asks about them every night and will sometimes sob herself to sleep.” – Reddit user Ravyn4179

8. Baby creeper

“Recently she’s been running around her carpet in circles and then going to sit in her little chair by the window and hardcore creeping on the neighbours out her bedroom window. She’s weird.” – Reddit user BPhillips16

Shudder. Snort! Click through to Reddit to read even MORE bonkers toddler bedtime stories. We promise it will make your day much better.

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