This morning my toddler was running around the house with a pair of undies on his head, roaring with laughter. Meanwhile, I was losing my s@#t (in between hiding my giggles) because it’s kindy day. This meant the ‘getting out the door’ rigmarole of eating breakfast, dressing, packing bags and getting in the car, was upon me. I had my ‘Captain Mum’ hat on.
But it made me ponder. How good would it be to be my toddler for just one day? To belly laugh over a pair of undies on my head, instead of having to be all grown up about getting to kindy on time? Or to lose myself in bubbles and not have a care in the world?
Here are a few other things I sometimes get a bit jealous of my toddler over. Do you want to trade places with yours, too?!
1. Go to bed when tired
My tot’s sleep is always prioritised. Now this is as much for him as it is for my sanity (argh! tired monster!), the words “bed time!” for him are like the worst thing to ever come out of my mouth. There’s protests and pleas for one more ‘tory’ and milk. For me, if someone were to insist on me going to bed for a full uninterrupted night’s sleep, well, it would be music to my ears. Am I right, oh tired mums?!
2. Eating a nutritious dinner cooked just FOR ME!
Oh, to not have to cook for one day! Imagine if you had your own personal chef who tried their hardest to make all of your meals not only palatable to your insanely fussy toddler palate, but also fun (hello, dinner faces and airplane spoons) and nutritious?
3. A soak in the tub
My boys shift between loving and then hating bath time. When they decide they don’t like it, the Great Bath Battle is upon me. Sometimes bubbles and toys will sweeten the deal and they’ll hop in, but what I wouldn’t give to have an indulgent soak in a bath! (I’d be wanting bubbles too, but the ones that come in a glass, mind you!) Oh, remember when you chose a bath over bed because you weren’t that tired for sleep yet?
4. Freshly laundered clothes – that are put away
The washing pile is a bit of a mountain in my house and while I usually fold and put away my boys’ clothes – easy when my toddler needs his third change of outfit that day – I am often rummaging through it to find a pair of clean undies for me, or picking up yesterday’s jeans off the floor and checking them for play dough stains before going out.
5. Told I am a precious snowflake – 100 times a day
Ah, to be loved and encouraged like a toddler! “Oh, well done, you put on your sock! What a clever boy. Aren’t you just, my precious little snowflake. Oh I love you soooooo much!” Yeah, that would be nice.
6. Given warm clothes at the slightest drop in temperature
When I present my tot with a jacket to warm up his pot belly that’s sticking out from under his t-shirt, you’d think I was making him drink broccoli juice! There’s dashing, chasing by me and squirms and shrieks until I fasten the zipper and he runs off saying, “All done,” with a smile in his voice.
7. Soothed to sleep
Can you imagine drifting off into a blissful slumber while being pushed in the pram? Or patted and sung to as you fall off to sleep? Or being driven around aimlessly for two hours just so the engine is kept running to keep you from waking up? Ah, just imagine if you got to have a day sleep and that day sleep was always guaranteed.
8. Chest rubs with Vicks when sick
Now there is an unwritten rule that mums are not allowed to get sick. That’s just not part of the job description and so we have to suck it up and soldier on. But it would be so nice if someone would rub a little Vicks on my chest and let me snuggle up on the couch and watch my favourite TV shows when I get knocked down. Just sayin’.
9. Having clean, shiny washed hair
I sport a greasy mum-bun these days and while I try to shower every day, it doesn’t always happen. On the other hand, I love nothing more than sniffing my toddler’s clean hair. It’s still got that silky baby softness to it and it is always washed, despite his hair-washing protests.
10. Unbridled confidence and fearlessness
Want to walk on that wall with a 12 metre drop? No problem! You won’t fall. Want to apply for that perfect part-time mum-job that fits in perfectly with daycare hours but you also feel a little under qualified for? You’ve got this! I sometimes wish I had my toddler’s confidence and fearlessness in my adult life – although maybe not his risk assessment. I mean, seriously? That wall is really high!