8 Ways Owning a Puppy is Like Having A Newborn Baby
Over a decade has passed since our last baby was born. Sleepless nights, tiny squeaks, cries, and advice from all over the world are memories you will never forget.
Funny enough, even though our children have grown into more independent beings over the years, the memories of our early parenting days came flooding back when we welcomed our new family member, Ted, the puppy.
This ball of love, fluff, and chaos did not just flip our house upside down, he also threw us back into the whirlwind that is baby-rearing. This time it was even more furry, with sharper teeth and a tail that could not be stopped.
If you are considering getting a dog, you are in the thick of pet parenthood, or you just enjoy a good comparison, then here are 8 hilariously true reasons why having a new puppy is like having a baby — and why you will love every moment (even the messiest).
1. Sleep? What’s That?
You’re warned about sleep deprivation when you bring home a new baby, but you somehow still underestimate how exhausted you will be. It’s almost the same with a puppy.
Ted was not interested in sleeping through the night at first. The first few days were filled with a mix of barking, whining, and scratching the crate.
You can’t tiptoe out of the room and rock a puppy into sleep, unlike with a newborn. Puppies do not want to be swaddled or soothed. They’ll chew your slippers or jump on your chest in the middle of the night.
Ted still seems to prefer to start his day at 5:30 am, even months later. It’s as if your toddler has decided that sleeping is only for weak people, and the only way to cure it is by eating breakfast and then running around the house zoomie-style.
Tips for parents of both puppies and infants: Naps. Glorious, glorious naps. Take them whenever you can.
2. You Will Gush Continuously
Remember the first time you had a baby? Everything they did seemed to be worth sharing with everyone.
First smile? Posted.
Sneeze a tiny bit? Filmed.
Toe wiggles? With emojis and hearts.
Well, having one brings all of that back. It’s impossible to resist every tilt of Ted’s head, his floppy ears, and the way he curls himself up with a toy. Now I find myself talking to everyone about him. No one is immune to my obsession with him.
What about social media? My friends know more than they ever wanted about Ted’s everyday routine. The camera roll on my phone is 90% photos of puppies, 5% screenshots, and 5% pictures of family members (if they are lucky).
You might want to consider getting a dog if you don’t want to be “that person” on the internet. The spam about puppies is real, and honestly, it’s kind of cute.
3. Time Wasting Cuteness
We stopped being productive humans when we brought Ted home. We spent entire afternoons just watching Ted.
His little twitchy puppy’s dreams. He tried to (and failed to) carry a toy two times his size. His ears would bounce when he ran.
We sat, enchanted. Dinners were toasties and salad. Laundry piles up. The list of things to do grew longer, dustier, and more cluttered. Why? We had a living, breathing teddy with floppy ears and a snout that demanded our 24/7 admiration.
Newborn babies also do this. As they sleep, you stare at them, cooing at their tiny finger, and marvel at the way something so small can fill your world with so much joy. Puppies? Same deal. Same deal.
Spoiler Alert: You won’t accomplish much and won’t even care.
4. So. Much. Wee.
It’s not a secret that puppies pee a great deal. Like, “did n’t-you-just-go?” levels of frequency. Not always in the right places.
Ted has an unusual gift. If you even say “hello” to him or scratch him behind the ears, Ted will pee. It’s like an endless stream of love and excitement.
We mopped the floor every hour in the beginning. We joked that we would buy shares in a company making paper towels. Do you think that diaper blowouts can be bad? You think diaper blowouts are bad?
It takes time to train a house. It takes time. It’s also a good idea to use a lot of enzyme cleaner. Just like puppies, they grow out of this phase eventually.
Stock up on cleaning products. You can trust me.
5. Poo Happens Often.
In the world of puppies, a lot is revealed.
Like newborns, whose digestive system is still learning the ropes, you can expect “surprise” around the home. It’s not always a surprise. It’s not always expected. It’s always your responsibility to clean up.
No one volunteers for poop duty. Everyone in the home becomes busy or deaf as soon as the dog starts to squat.
It becomes normal. You stop flinching. You have bags in your pocket, wipes in the car, and a special spot to scoop poop in your yard. Glamorous? No. Necessary? Absolutely.
6. People Will Flock to Meet Your Baby”
People will come out of hiding to compliment you and give unsolicited advice when you have a baby. When you get a puppy, what happens? The same thing.
Ted has made a simple errand into a 45-minute adventure. People stop us constantly to pet him, inquire about his age, try to guess his breed, or share stories of their golden retriever named Rusty from 1985.
Everybody has a story about a dog. Or a suggestion for a veterinarian. Or, a question on whether Ted chews up furniture (yes, she does).
I’m from a small city, and the baby parade seemed intense to me. The “puppy show”, however, may be more interactive. Even strangers will cross the street to greet your pet.
What is my advice? Embrace it. Take advantage of the community and connections. Your puppy will be a furry star.
7. Advice Will Pour In (whether you want it or not)
You know how it is if you have ever had a child: you get advice from all directions. Don’t feed this, but do feed that. Sleep train or don’t. Disposable cloth nappies. The cycle continues.
It’s the same with puppies.
Everyone has an opinion, from your neighbor to the barista at your local coffee shop to the dog trainer of your second cousin’s spouse. Everyone has an opinion on crate-training, walking schedules, and other topics like chewing, barking, or jumping.
Like babies, no two pups are alike. What works for someone else may not work for you. While the tips may be useful, they could also be overwhelming.
You have to decide what is best for both you and your dog. If Ted won’t listen to mmee I can be sure that he will not take advice from strangers.
8. You Will Buy All the Things (even if you don’t need them)
Ah, the shopping spree. The same thing happens to babies and puppies. You suddenly find yourself buying everything in the baby or pet aisle.
We received a luxury dog kennel with three plush beds, (none of which Ted uses), designer dishes, squeak toys, puzzle ffeedersers and organic treats. The leash cost more than my shoes.
Sounds familiar?
Ted chews on sticks rather than his expensive chew toys and prefers his cold tiled floor over his cushioned beds.
Hey, it’s part of the adventure. Who can resist the puppy eyes as you pass a pet? sle.
Conclusion
Although puppies and babies are different species, they both share a universal truth: They change your world.
You will lose sleep, be tested, have to spend more time than you expected, and do more laundry. They also fill your heart with joy, love, and purpose.
Ted reminded me about the beauty and chaos of nurturing a new life. He is a mischief maker, a heart stealer, and a constant reminder of the love we can give.
Raising a puppy can be compared to raising a baby. Mess
It was magical, exhausting, and hilarious.
Since you’ve read this far (and since I know that you came here just to see the cute puppy pictures), here is a picture of Ted in his full floofy glory. The prettiest puppy feet you’ll ever come across. #SorryNotSorry
