Twelve Things No One Told You About Having A Third Child
Are you considering having a third baby? You might want to buckle up before you decide. This list will make you think twice or at least help you prepare for the ride ahead.
[ez-toc]
While having three children can be a great joy, it also brings a new level of chaos. No one ever tells you about half of the things that come with having three kids.
Here’s the truth, unfiltered. This list could act as a contraceptive. Wait until the very end, because the final point may just change your mind.
1. You Can’t Jam Three Car Seats into Any Car
The car seat situation can be relatively simple if you have only one or two children. When you add a tiny third person to the mix, your family’s trusty car is suddenly put to the ultimate challenge.
It’s a good idea to measure the back seat of your car and ask any salesperson about their vehicle that claims it can “fully fit three car seats.”
It’s important to note that even a couple of centimetres can make a big difference. It may feel snug, but the seat belts might not be able to be buckled correctly. Once you’ve managed to get those three seats into the car, don’t remove them unless there is a very good reason.
The tiny gaps between the seats are now dust and crumb pits that seem bottomless. Use your narrow nozzle to vacuum regularly, otherwise you’ll have to hope.
2. Your Pram will Look Like a Caravan
You may be in for a rude surprise if you were picturing cute Instagrammable strolls with your family using a single or double stroller.
Your pram may grow to the size of a small van once you have three children. What about that double stroller? Then you’ll have to add a third child and either hook up a wheelchair or a seat.
I thought I was alone in pushing this “ding-dong”, but I then saw another mother with a similar contraption. The little heads were poking out from every angle like hydras.
Prepare to be a four-headed beast yourself and to suffer the physical strain of pushing this monster up hills, around shops, and through doorways. What’s the upside? You won’t be asked again if you are “done having children”.
3. Everybody Will Scream to Communicate
You know how difficult it can be to communicate with two children. Multiply that by three.
Three adults can’t agree on much. Three kids? What about toddlers and preschoolers? Forget it.
Shouting is the language of choice in a family with three children. Screaming is the first thing a child will do if they want a toy or snack, even if it’s just to get noticed. What about the volume? The charts are off the charts.
You may feel guilty at first. Maybe you believe it’s all your fault. Or maybe you worry that you aren’t teaching them enough. It’s not your fault. It’s them. It’s survival mode.
You will become an expert at translating shrieks, and you’ll learn that screaming louder is sometimes the best way to communicate.
4. It’s Not Worth Buying Anything New or Nice for At Least a Decade
You may want to save money for a new couch or replace the dining table that is scratched. Spoiler alert! It won’t last for long.
If you have more than three children, you can expect your new furniture to be covered in food stains, sticky spots, and other unidentified fluids.
I’ve learned the hard way that investing in nice things is a temporary luxury. Buy durable and easy-to-clean furnishings or accept hand-me-downs. If you’re fortunate, you may have a few years’ peace before you hit the “ruined furniture phase”.
5. Trampoline Jumping Might Be Out of the Question for a While
It’s not the most obvious, but this one is important.
You might feel as if your uterus will fall out when you jump, bounce, or do even a small hop after having your third baby.
If you haven’t started yet, it is time to start those pelvic floor exercises (yes, even the dreaded Kegels).
What about birthday parties in trampoline parks? You could wait until your child is in primary education. You’ll be glad you did.
6. You’ll Feel More Stress
A survey of more than 7,000 mothers revealed that having three children was the most stressful.
According to reports, mothers with three children report more stress than mothers with just two or four children. Why? Why?
Some days, you may wonder how you can function.
What’s the silver lining? You might be able to reduce your stress by adding a fourth option. The theory is that if you add a fourth, your stress levels will be evened out.
7. You Will Never Be Alone
Three kids mean that your home is always crowded. There’s always someone who needs your attention. Someone may be chatting, someone might be crying, or there could even someone else playing.
You’re never truly alone, even if you want to.
You want to have a little time to yourself? You’re in luck. You will always be interrupted, even in the quietest of moments.
It can be exhausting, and at times overwhelming. But it is also a unique type of company that fills your house with life and noise.
8. You Will Learn What Tired Means
You’re feeling tired? Ha.
Three kids can push exhaustion up to an entirely new level. It’s the kind of fatigue that causes you to forget the remote in the refrigerator, put breast milk instead of milk in your coffee, and not wear pants before answering the front door.
Some days, you’ll just want to nap in the bathroom.
You will be tested in your patience and sense of humor, but you must keep going.
9. You’ll Be Broke in No Time
Children are expensive. Three kids? Three kids?
The weekly grocery bill will make you wet your pants. I’m talking about $176 per week for fruit and $94 for milk and bread.
Do you dream of family vacations? Start saving for your family’s Disneyland trip.
Be prepared to cut back on your spending if you enjoy shopping. Your new best friends are hand-me-down clothing and a careful budget.
10. You Will Not Be Able to Stay in Hotels
Remember when you used to be able to book a room at a hotel on a whim. Kiss those days goodbye.
It’s like solving a Rubik’s Cube while blindfolded. You will spend hours searching websites, negotiating with receptionists, and settling arguments over who gets the pullout bed.
Once you arrive, what happens? When your children are asleep and you don’t want to disturb them, room service and movie nights become less appealing.
Airbnb is your sanctuary. It’s a place to spread out and relax, where you can cook your food.
11. The Restaurant Industry is a Slice of Hell
It’s a challenge to eat out with three children. You have to be patient and eat quickly.
Avoid restaurants unless you like to yell at your children to stop sticking straws in their noses or explain to them for the hundredth and final time that food belongs in the mouth and not the hair. You may also enjoy apologizing profusely to staff and trying to shovel your meal into your stomach within 45 seconds.
Be prepared to pay a premium for this mess. Expect to spend at least $143 for the privilege.
You may get lucky and have a magical meal at which everyone acts like angels. Most of the time, however, you won’t get that magical meal.
12. Your Heart Will Be so Full it Might Burst
You will find that your heart is fuller than ever before.
Having three children can indeed be difficult. You will be tested in terms of your limits, patience, and sanity. It will fill your life full of love, laughter, and moments which make all the meltdowns, ruined couches, lost socks, etc., totally worth it.
You will be their centre as you watch them learn, grow, and explore the world. It’s a very special thing.
Yes, it is difficult to have a third baby. It’s one of the greatest gifts in life.
Conclusion
Remember that no parent’s journey to having a third baby is perfect. Every family faces challenges.
It’s important to be prepared, know what you are signing up for, and embrace chaos with a good sense of humor and a large heart.
Three little humans who love you and are devoted to you will make every crazy moment worth it.
