Things to Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

Pregnancy is a unique and personal journey, and the words we choose can significantly impact an expectant mother’s experience. While many comments are made with good intentions, some can be unintentionally hurtful or invasive. Understanding what to avoid saying can help foster a supportive and respectful environment for pregnant women. Things To Never Say To A Pregnant Woman.

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1. Comments About Her Size or Weight

Pregnancy brings many changes to a woman’s body, and those changes vary greatly from one person to another. While some people may think they’re being playful or observant, comments about a pregnant woman’s size or weight can be deeply uncomfortable and even hurtful.

• “Wow, you’re huge!”
  While meant as a joke or even a compliment, this kind of comment can make a woman feel awkward, self-conscious, or anxious. It suggests that her size is abnormal or excessive, which can add to any existing worries she may have about her appearance or the health of her pregnancy.

  

• “Are you sure it’s not twins?”
  This question implies that her bump is bigger than what it “should” be, which can be disheartening, especially if she is already tired of fielding intrusive questions. It not only makes assumptions but also puts her on the defensive, forcing her to explain or justify her body’s natural changes.

• “You look like you’re about to pop!”
  Though often said in a teasing tone, this comment can make a woman feel like a spectacle rather than a person. It may also minimise the fact that she could still have weeks to go and is likely already uncomfortable. Rather than making remarks about how far along she looks, it’s better to ask how she’s feeling or simply offer support.

2. Invasive Questions About Her Pregnancy

Pregnancy often invites curiosity, but there’s a fine line between interest and intrusion. Some questions, though seemingly harmless or well-intentioned, can cross personal boundaries and make an expectant mother feel uncomfortable, judged, or exposed.

• “Was it planned?”
  This question may seem like casual curiosity, but it can feel deeply invasive and judgmental. Whether or not a pregnancy was planned has no bearing on the joy, love, or excitement a woman may feel. It can also stir up complex emotions, especially for those who struggled with conception, experienced loss, or have mixed feelings.

• “How long did it take?”
  Fertility journeys can be long, emotional, and filled with heartbreak. Asking about how long it took to get pregnant can bring up painful memories for women who struggled with infertility, endured treatments, or suffered miscarriages. It’s a highly personal topic that should never be assumed to be open for public discussion.

• “Are you sure everything is okay?”
  While concern for someone’s well-being is natural, this question can unintentionally provoke fear or anxiety, especially when there’s no indication that something is wrong. Unless she has voiced a health concern, this kind of question may feel like you’re doubting her or implying she doesn’t appear well.

3. Unsolicited Advice or Stories

Pregnancy seems to attract advice from all directions: family members, friends, coworkers, even strangers. While this is often well-meaning, unsolicited advice can quickly become overwhelming or even anxiety-inducing.

• “You should be doing this…”
  Statements like this suggest there’s only one right way to navigate pregnancy, which simply isn’t true. Telling a pregnant woman what she “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing implies that she isn’t already making informed, thoughtful decisions.

• “Let me tell you about my experience…”
  Personal stories, especially traumatic or difficult ones, can cause more harm than good, even if the intent is to prepare or inform. Birth stories filled with complications, pain, or fear may only heighten a pregnant woman’s anxiety, especially if she’s already nervous about labour and delivery.

  

4. Comments About Her Appearance or Behaviour

Pregnancy transforms a woman’s body and energy levels in ways that can be both beautiful and challenging, often at the same time. While many people think they’re being helpful or complimentary, comments about a pregnant woman’s appearance or behaviour can easily come off as judgmental, dismissive, or patronising. It’s important to consider how these remarks might be received and to choose kindness and empathy over assumptions.

• “You look tired.”
  This might seem like an observation or even an expression of concern, but it can make a pregnant woman feel self-conscious or insecure. Chances are, she is tired of growing a human is hard work, but hearing it out loud can feel like being told she looks worn out or unwell.

• “You’re glowing!”
  Although intended as a compliment, this phrase can sometimes ring hollow or feel like an expectation she’s supposed to meet. Many women experience breakouts, swelling, and discomfort during pregnancy, which can leave them feeling far from radiant.

• “Are you sure you’re okay to do that?”
  This kind of question may come from a place of concern, but it can also sound condescending or imply that she doesn’t know her own limits. Pregnant women are usually very in tune with their bodies and are advised by medical professionals about what they can and can’t do.

5. Comments About Her Future Plans

• “Are you going back to work?”
  This question can be loaded with assumptions about her career and family plans. Decisions about work and childcare are personal and should be respected.
• “Are you trying for a boy/girl next?”
  Speculating about future pregnancies can be intrusive and may not align with her plans or desires. It’s best to focus on the current pregnancy and her well-being.

6. Touching Her Belly Without Permission

• “Can I touch your belly?”
  Always ask for permission before touching a pregnant woman’s belly. Even if you’re close, some women may not be comfortable with this. Respect her personal space and boundaries.

7. Comments About Her Parenting Choices

• “Are you going to breastfeed?”
  This is a personal decision and can be influenced by various factors. Avoid making judgments or assumptions about her choices.
• “You should try this parenting method.”
  Unsolicited parenting advice can be overwhelming and may not apply to her situation. If she seeks advice, offer it respectfully and considerately.

8. Speculating About the Baby’s Gender

• “I bet you’re hoping for a boy/girl.”
  Speculating about the baby’s gender can put pressure on the expectant mother and may not align with her feelings. It’s best to avoid making assumptions about her preferences.

  

9. Comments About Her Relationship

• “Is this baby going to save your relationship?”
  Pregnancy can be a challenging time for relationships, and such comments can be hurtful and invasive. Respect her privacy and avoid making assumptions about her personal life.

10. Offering Unsolicited Opinions

• “I wouldn’t do it that way.”
  Offering unsolicited opinions about her choices can be dismissive and disrespectful. If she seeks advice, offer it thoughtfully and without judgment.

Conclusion

Pregnancy is a time of significant change and emotion. The words we choose can either uplift or unintentionally cause distress. It’s essential to approach conversations with empathy, respect, and understanding. When in doubt, it’s always best to listen and offer support without judgment. Remember, every pregnancy is unique, and the expectant mother is the best judge of her needs and experiences.