13 Signs Your Mum Has the Flu (Not that Your Family Will Notice)
For heaven’s sake, mum should never show weakness…
Let’s talk mum flu. You’ve probably heard about man-flu, the mythical disease that turns men into helpless bundles of tissues, remotes, and exaggerated breaths. Move over, man flu. Another illness deserves more sympathy, recognition, and, frankly, medals of bravery.
Enter the mother-flu.
Mum-flu has become a part of life. Mum-flu is a condition in which a mother will continue to work despite a fever high enough to boil tea, aching legs, and sinuses feeling like they have been filled with cement. No sick days. Rest is not allowed. No lying in the dark with soothing music, and someone lovingly handing you a glass of water.
Nope. Even if a mother is sick, she still has to be a mom. Still on duty. Still remembering to pack permission slips and take kids to library day, packing lunches for the children, breaking up fights, or getting them off to school. What’s the only difference? She’s now doing it with a hacking cold, a head that looks like a bowling ball, and no energy.
Here are the 13all-too-familiarr signs that you have the mum-flu – not that anyone will notice or care or even slow down.
1. The Weekday Screen Time Ban is a Thing of the Past
You are the gatekeeper for screen time. iPads are only allowed on weekends. Limitations of 30 minutes. No watching while eating. You’ve got rules.
What happens when the flu strikes?
Everyone gets an iPad,s Hec, and maybe even a movie marathon all day long. Whatever keeps them quiet in a single room is the best solution, right?
You’re on your couch, with a cup of tea and some tissues. “Frozen” suddenly seems like a great educational tool. You can watch YouTube until you melt, kids. LeMummymyliey here for a moment.
2. Spaghetti in Tins Becomes a Culinary Staple
It’s not uncommon for the kitchen to be a hub of healthy, but chaotic, home-cooked meals. Balance is key — a little bit of protein here and some vegetables there.
Now? Now?
Tinned spaghetti is a great lunch. Tinned spaghetti for dinner.
If it can’t be opened with just one hand and a tissue while in your other hand, then it isn’t on the menu. If that means eating spaghetti hoops for three meals every day, then so be it.
3. No Longer are ‘Special Events’ the Only Time to Order School Lunches
Once upon a time, you were the mother who packed star-shaped sandwiches in organic fruit and bento-style boxes.
Now?
Every day, lunch orders. What about chicken nuggets? Sure. What about a sausage roll and a juice box? Let your kids go wild.
Even though it costs a fortune, when you’re struggling to get out of bed, every little thing that prevents you from making another ham sandwich will be a win.
4. You are Dying, but you Still Say that you’re Fine
You feel like you’re on fire. You feel like your throat is sandpaper. Your body is aching because you haven’t been able to sleep properly for three nights. When you breathe, your voice sounds like Darth Vader.
What do you say when someone finally asks you if you are okay?
“I’m fine.”
What’s the alternative to that? You’re sick. Do you want to risk chaos in the home by admitting it? Please.
Stoicism is a foundational pillar of motherhood. Are you a mother if you can’t manage it all when you are sick?
5. Your Partner Barely Notices
You drag yourself through the day. Your face is pale, and you’re sweating through your dressing-gown. And your partner? Blissfully ignorant.
They ask you as you wheeze through the dinner preparation.
You’re still functional if you can lift your finger. You’re good if you are upright. What if you are horizontal? Then they go back to watching television.
6. When the Baby Decides it’s Time to Cluster Feed
Your entire body is aching, and you’re struggling to stay awake. Your baby will start cluster-feeding at this precise moment.
Day. Night. Round-the-clock snack bar.
The milk machine is not one to rest. You remind yourself that it will pass as you lie half-asleep on your bed, a baby clinging to you for the sixth time within three hours. You’ll be exhausted before you know it.
7. You Suffer in Silence (Because making noise might alert the children)
You can call for help or mention that you are struggling.
What happens to the children when they sense weakness? Chaos. Mutiny. Glue sticks. Paint. Scissors. You’re too sickly to stop the forbidden crafts tub from coming out.
So you stay quiet.
You are now accustomed to suffering in silence. You could be on fire at this point and whisper, “It is just a little warm in here.”
8. A House Call is Perfectly Fine, but a Doctor’s Visit Sounds Like a Joke
Do you drag yourself to your doctor’s visit?
LOL.
It’s hard to find a baby, let alone dress, strap the child into a car seat, and navigate a waiting room.
What if you could find a doctor who still makes house calls? Absolute gold. It should be standard for mums, like Uber Eats, but for healthcare.
9. You Can Put Everything in Perspective
You still remind yourself that this is not the worst experience you have ever had.
You gave birth, after all.
It is possible to have this happen more than once.
Take minimal medication.
As someone was filming the event.
So no, you won’t be knocked down by a little flu. You can do it. Your insides have been rearranged, and you’ve been stitched together with a baby attached.
10. You Fall Asleep and Wake Up to a House that Looks Like it Survived a Tornado
A brave moment of lying on your back can lead to a slightly delirious sleep. You wish for silence, peace, and perhaps even a warm water bottle.
When will you awaken?
Your home is not recognizable.
Cushions are everywhere. In the kitchen, a cereal box exploded. Someone has been drawing on the walls. It’s a kid-led remake of Lord Of The Flies.
What’s the worst thing? You’re too sick to handle it.
11. Your Toddler Has Reached a Whole New Tantrum Level
Animals can sense fear, they say. Toddlers? The toddlers can smell vulnerability.
The second they realize that Mumum isn’t working at her full capacity, then it’s time to go. Screaming about the wrong-coloured teaspoon. Snack choices can cause meltdowns. You’ve had a complete emotional breakdown because you blew your nose rather than building a tower of blocks.
Tantrum Level: Expert.
You? You nod and then pass the chocolate. Survival, remember?
12. The House Descends into Lawless Chaos
Nobody knows the time. Pants are not required. Nutella is being eaten straight out of the jar. You don’t care about meal planning, screen time, or hygiene.
Congratulations. Congratulations! You have officially entered Lord Of The Flies territory.
Now the kids run the place. You are a ghost, sitting on the couch and occasionally muttering directions while clutching a box of tissues like a safety blanket.
13. As Soon as You Feel Better, Everyone Gets Sick
Oh, sweet relief! The fever has broken. You can now breathe. The floor stops rotating. Just barely, you feel human.
Then, what happens?
“Mum, I don’t feel good…”
The beginning. Every member of your family starts to fall one by one. Snotty faces, whiny voice, dramatic groans. What about them? They suddenly become incapacitated. They need full-time care, comforting, attention, and back scratches.
Each of them is feeling much more worthy than you.
Conclusion
Mum-flu isn’t just about being sick. It’s all about pushing on. It’s managing your household when your body is screaming for you to rest. You have to ignore your symptoms, because the laundry won’t fold by itself, and someone is screaming again about socks.
It’s about a special kind of resilience, which doesn’t come along with any applause or acknowledgement — maybe just a sniffle and a sigh with a cold cup of tea, perhaps accompanied by a paracetamol.
Here’s to all the mums who are fighting the flu without any sympathy, with no sick days and no one to help them. We are with you. We see you.
Go lie down – if you find a spot that is clean on the couch.
