6 Types Of Parental Fatigue That We All Know Too Much
“I am tired.”
Like, I’m really tired.
You’re not the only one who has ever stared at the ceiling in the middle of nthe ight, wondering if parenting is a euphemism to describe sleep deprivation. Being a parent, especially a new one, is exhausting. It’s not only the lack of sleep that drains us. Sleepless nights are not the only thing that parents face.
It feels like I’ve been awake all night for a long time (or is anyone else’s child allergic to sleep?) Beyond the yawns, dark circles, and fatigue, there is a deeper tiredness: one that’s caused by decisions and responsibilities, routine and constant motion. The fatigue doesn’t go away with a 20-minute power nap.
After nine years, four children, and countless playdates, I have come to realize that there are six different types of parent fatigue, each with a unique flavor. You can read about each type of fatigue, along with how it feels to live through them and what you could do to reduce the strain.
1. Park Fatigue
How it feels
It can be a bit monotonous to walk through the gates of a new playground. The park was a magical place for me in my early motherhood: interaction with adults, fresh air, and the chance to talk. We shared birth stories, secrets of the city, and parenting victories. We were all energized by a new slide or climbing structure.
After a few seasons of “Watch me!” and push, swing, and climb, you realize that your enthusiasm has waned. How many times can you pretend to care about who is last on the slide, or ignore your wrists as they snap from pushing the swing?
This squeaky door is now a sign of two more hours of forced something — Anxiety begins to creep in: “How can I tell the story about the third sandwich for the day?”
It’s a Thrill-seeking Challenge
It’s just so routine. It’s moderately social and moderately physical, but never fulfilling. You post a picture on Instagram (maybe with champagne?) because you know that you are expected to have fun. But inside, you’re fantasising about a quiet patio alone.
What to Do
- Add Value: Invite someone you want to talk to.
- Be creative. Bring along a book, an audio, or a bubble-blowing kit.
- Prepare exit strategies: Set a timeline for when you will say goodbye.
- You do not have to attend every week. Trust that your absence will not ruin your child.
2. Decision Fatigue
How it feels
Some say that a CEO has to make hundreds of decisions every day. We make tens of thousands as a parent who stays at home (or works). Lunch or leftovers: a white noise of choices? Red or polka-dot? Fruit plate or snack time? What’s better, a bathrobe or a formal robe? We’re stuck in a micro-decision mode.
“Mom, what’s this? These toddler interrogations drain mental energy like a hole in the ground. When your husband asks you what you want to have for dinner, you shut down, and your brain goes into emotional meltdown mode.
Why is it so Exhausting?
These decisions are constant and unrelenting. Every day, all night long. You cannot schedule breaks in parenting. There is no way to schedule breaks.
What to Do
- Use meal plans and theme nights to simplify menus.
- Decision shortcuts: Choose your snacks/outfits in advance.
- Teach toddlers how to participate in group decisions (“Socks or No Socks ?”).
- Protect your downtime: Request absolute silence for 5-10 minutes per day to decompress.
3. Fatigue in the Admin
How it Feels
The parental calendar is never-ending. Permission slips and immunisation form, confirmation of play dates, medical checks… You are both an administrative assistant and a personal assistant in one. After juggling another school trip, even simple tasks like paying bills or booking an appointment for a haircut seem impossible.
You feel as if your daily to-do lists have multiplied overnight.
Why is it Overwhelming?
It’s not just a part-time job, but a full-time one. Parenting involves logistics. Zero Margin is the only margin for error. This is your child not going on a field trip.
What to Do
- Batch Tasks: All school work on one afternoon and errands the next.
- Use technology: Sharing family calendars via phones will save you from stress.
- Delegate: Share admin work with your partner or tweens.
- Automate Subscribe to recurring orders and bills, if possible.
4. Floor Fatigue
How it feels
Imagine how your knees would feel if you had spent all day sitting on the floor at 25. Imagine that you are 35 years old and your hips get tight just by thinking about pretend picnics.
You can stack blocks, then watch with mild fury as your child happily smacks the blocks down. You may smile and laugh, but you are calculating to get up from the floor without grunting.
It’s Not Just Physical
It’s a repetitive, meaningless game designed to entertain small creatures. It doesn’t matter if you only play for a few moments. Your mind is not rewarded. The residual pain is very real.
What to Do
- Lean: Rotate pillows, low furniture, or an adult-sized floor cushion.
- Alternate Position: Kneel or cross-legged.
- Mindful Presence: Concentrate on the child’s face when playing floor games. Try to connect with your child rather than counting reps.
- Find a way to get out of the situation. “I’ll be watching you today from the couch, okay?”
5. Negotiation Fatigue
How it feels
The phrase “Please don’t slice mine in triangles!” becomes increasingly agitated. The negotiations cover every little detail, from food shapes to screen times to toy battles between siblings. It’s a bit like hostage talks, but with little dictators who are unpredictable.
You get tired of this kind of communication. You get deeply tired after sniffing out bombs, defusing and absorbing emotional explosions – every. Single. Day.
It’s Draining Emotionally
You never feel stable. Permanent vigilance. Countless compromises. Every table becomes a battlefield.
What to Do
- You don’t have to win every battle. Just say “yes” when it matters.
- Set pre-determined rules: No further argument if you have three toys in the tub.
- Redirection and distraction: A little sparkle is more effective than reasoning
- Give toddlers control. “Would you like apple or orange juice?” Toddlers enjoy feeling in charge.
6. Mental Fatigue – The Invisible Load
How it feels
Even when you are tired, your brain is still working. Your brain is never off: school forms and dentist appointments, play dates, lunch packing… you’re the family’s internal compass.
Even when you “rest”, your thoughts are still active.
“Panadol or Nurofen?”
“Does Susie need a birthday gift?”
Is Dad’s tax due in a week?
Why is Eliza’s creative ADHD lunch shaped today?
Mental exhaustion — you’re always ready to solve a problem, no matter how big or small.
Why Does it Hurt Most?
Because nobody sees it. You plan, react, pivot, recalculate, preempt, and anticipate… but you are not appreciated.
What to Do
- Tell someone what you’re feeling: Voice your feelings
- Split the mental load: Share mental tasks with your partner.
- Brain dump sessions: Schedule 5 minutes each afternoon to write down everything you want.
- Reflect and Release: The first step towards relief is to acknowledge how much you have done.
Put It All Together
The six types of fatigue– decision, admin floor, negotiation, and the invisible load — are not a list that you’re weak. These fatigues are proof that you carry the weight of many small people with love and perseverance. Each fatigue, if you look at it with compassion, signals growth, commitment, and ability.
Quick-Start Guide: What to Do Next
- Find out what drains your energy today. You can control your life with just one name.
- Take a small action to improve the situation.
- Pre-order meals for the next week to avoid being overwhelmed by decision fatigue.
- This week, skip the park and create a home play area.
- Share the story with a partner, friend, or community. Action is the key to de-burdening.
- Track your progress over 7 days: measure each change and action. Check to see if you lose weight.
- Repetition is required for each area that has become fatigued. Take on one area at a time.
Conclusion
It’s not about “getting through” or “surviving” — it’s more about recognising where you are tired and why, and then transforming the fatigue into something meaningful. This list of six fatigue is proof that you are showing day in and day out, even when your cells want to shut down.
Self-compassion is important on your journey. You are doing more than you need to.
