Teaching Your Baby to Self-settle
Teaching Your Baby to Self-settle
Sleep (or the lack thereof) can be a major issue for new parents. The constant cycle of rocking, bouncing, feeding and soothing can seem like an endless struggle for new parents. You might think that you can rest when your baby finally falls asleep, but you’ll soon be woken up by another round of soothing. Parents can suffer from sleep deprivation. But what if you could teach your child to settle themselves, so that you both get the rest you need?
I was a sceptic about the concept of self-settling. My experience was filled with hours of rocking and bouncing to get my babies to fall asleep. I believed it was impossible for babies to settle themselves, especially since my own babies needed constant attention in order to fall asleep. I thought that parents who said their babies settled themselves were either extremely lucky or lying. After having my second child I was able to see it for myself. Self-settling does not exist. To achieve this, you need patience, consistency and some expert guidance.
This guide is for those who are sleep deprived and have trouble getting their baby to sleep. You can help your child learn to settle themselves by following a few simple steps.
What is self-settling?
It’s important that you understand what self-settling is before you begin teaching your baby how to do it. Self-settling means that your baby can fall asleep without being rocked, held, or fed. You place your baby into their crib or bassinet while they are still awake but drowsy. They will fall asleep by themselves.

This skill teaches your baby how to calm themselves down and go back to sleep if they awaken during the night. This is important as it helps your baby develop the ability to fall sleep without you having to intervene every time. When your baby is able to self-settle they will sleep longer periods of time. This leads to a better night’s sleep for the baby as well as the parents.
Why is self-settling important?
You may be wondering what the big deal is about self-settling. It’s enough to put your baby to bed, regardless of how. It may seem trivial, but teaching your child to settle themselves has many benefits for both you and them.
1. Better Sleep for All
Baby’s who learn to settle themselves are more likely to sleep and stay asleep. You won’t need to spend hours every night rocking them or feeding them. Self-settling babies sleep longer and require less assistance to get back to sleep.
2. Healthy Sleep Habits
From a young age, self-settling promotes healthy sleep patterns. Babies that can fall asleep by themselves are less likely than others to form sleep associations which make it harder for them to fall to sleep later. If your baby is used every night to being rocked into sleep, it may be difficult for them to fall asleep when they are not receiving that soothing external method.
3. Greater Independence
It is a milestone in your baby’s growth and development. Self-settling lays the groundwork for increased independence as they age. You’re instilling a sense autonomy into your child by teaching them to fall asleep on their own. This will benefit them throughout their lives. Self-settling is not just about sleeping. It’s also about learning how to regulate their emotions and comfort themselves, which will be a valuable tool as they grow and explore.
When your child learns to self-settle, this can serve as an important precursor for other milestones like sleeping in his or her own bed, and eventually falling asleep on their own. This can eventually lead to a child that is more confident and feels comfortable in managing different situations on their own. This self-reliance is a great confidence booster and will help your child to develop a healthy independence in every area of their life. In the end, encouraging your child to settle themselves will help them become a more well-rounded and emotionally resilient person.
4. Improving Parental Wellbeing
As a parent, you will gain a lot from teaching your child how to settle himself. Sleep deprivation can be a big problem for parents in the early months of parenting. It can make them feel overwhelmed and exhausted. You’ll have more time to rest and recharge when your baby can self-settle. Your physical and emotional health will also improve. A rested parent will be more patient, alert and better able to handle the challenges of parenting.
You’ll be able to spend more time relaxing, focusing on your own needs and reconnecting with your partner. It is important for both parents to be well-rested as it helps them work better together. Healthy and well-rested parents can give their babies the attention and care that they need all day long, creating a positive and nurturing environment. The effort you make to teach your baby how to settle themselves will not only benefit your child, but also lead to a more healthy and balanced home.

A Step-by-Step guide to teaching your baby to self-settle
Let’s now dive into the practical steps to teaching your baby to sleep on their own. Every baby is unique, so it may take some time. As you work through the steps, be patient and flexible.
Step 1: Establish a Consistent Routine
Consistency is key to teaching your child how to settle themselves. Routine is important to babies, so creating a predictable routine will help them understand when it is time to go to bed. It’s time to establish a daily schedule if you haven’t done so already.
Try to follow a pattern for daytime naps. This is “eat, then play, then sleep.” You feed your child, let them play and finally put them down to nap. It is important to avoid putting your baby to bed during the day. This can lead to an association of needing to feed them to sleep at night.
Establish a bedtime routine to signal to your child that it is time to relax for the evening. A typical routine for bedtime may include a warm shower, reading a story, and cuddling your baby before placing them in their crib. You can help your child develop a sense predictability and security by following this routine each night.
Step 2: Introduce Sleep Associations
When your baby is very young, sleep associations could be feeding, rocking or being held. This could be holding, feeding or rocking your baby when they are very young. When you start teaching your baby to settle themselves, it is important to create new sleep associations to help them fall to sleep independently.
Self-settling can be achieved by a variety of sleep associations.
- White Noise: A fan or white noise machine can help your baby relax.
- Comfort Items: Soft Toys, Sleep Sacks or Swaddles are all items that can help your baby fall asleep.
- Calm Lighting: Dim nightlights can create a calm atmosphere in your nursery, without overstimulating your baby.
Sleep associations can make your baby feel more secure when they are transitioning from needing you to fall asleep on their own. Introduce the new associations slowly and consistently.
Step 3: Give Time for Adjustment
Allow your baby to get used to the new sleep patterns before you begin implementing self-settling techniques. This step is crucial, as it allows your baby to become comfortable with the new sleep routine.
During this time, you should continue the same routine every night and use the sleep associations that you have introduced. Give your baby some time to adjust to the changes. This period can take several days, depending on the temperament of your baby.
Step 4: Start moving baby off you
You’ll begin to transition away from your ability to put your baby to bed. You can start by changing your method of rocking your baby or holding them to sleep. Now, you will only rock until your baby is drowsy but not asleep. Place them in the crib when they are calm.
It is important to teach your baby to fall asleep on their own in the crib rather than relying on you to rock them or hold them. At this stage, it’s okay for your baby to need a little more reassurance. Patting their backs or saying a soothing word can help. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see results right away.
Step 5: Reduce the physical soothing
It’s time to decrease the physical comfort you give your baby as they begin to get used to sleeping in their crib. It is important to gradually reduce the amount of rocking, feeding, and patting your baby into sleep. Reduce the amount of rocking and try to encourage your baby to reach the drowsy phase by using gentle verbal reassurance.
Continue to decrease the amount of physical comforting you give your baby as they become more comfortable. Give your baby some time to settle down if they cry. While you can comfort them briefly, avoid picking them or rocking. Your baby should be able to fall asleep on their own and self-soothe.
Step 6: Eliminate all soothing interventions
Final step: gradually reduce all soothing interventions. You can reduce your interventions once your baby has become accustomed to being in the crib while drowsy, but awake. Instead of patting your baby or giving verbal reassurances, you will let them fall asleep by themselves.
Give your baby some time to settle down. You can reassure them briefly if they continue to cry. Avoid picking them up and providing physical comfort. Over time, you will see your baby learn to settle themselves and fall asleep on their own.

Conclusion
It takes patience, consistency, and a gentle touch to teach your baby how to self-settle. Every baby is unique, and some may need more time to adapt to the process of self-settling. It is important to stick to your routines and offer gentle support to your baby. This will help them develop the ability to sleep on their own.
Remember that the process won’t be immediate, and there will likely be some bumps along the way, but staying calm and consistent is key to success. It’s also essential to listen to your baby’s cues and make adjustments when needed. With time, you’ll start to notice the positive changes in your baby’s sleep habits, which will ultimately benefit both of you.
Follow these steps to help your baby get better sleep and establish healthy sleep habits for both you and your baby. The process of achieving independent sleep may take some time, but the benefits are well worth it, including improved sleep for everyone in the household. Enjoy your sleep!
Here’s to a peaceful night for you and your baby, filled with rest and rejuvenation! Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and the effort you put in today will pay off in the future. Happy sleeping!