“I Had No Idea I Could Have Twins, and No One Warned Me about the Rest Either.”
I was expecting to walk out of the ultrasound room with a grainy, black-and white image of our third baby and a feeling of satisfaction that things were progressing as they should. After all, I was already a mother of two. This wasn’t my first rodeo. I had been through the scans, swell, and sleepless nights. I thought I had a good idea of what to expect.
The day that changed everything
The sonographer swept the probe over my stomach as I squinted. I couldn’t tell what I was seeing–was it a head or a foot? A foot? An alien? She asked her standard questions — any bleeding? Morning sickness? Nope, I said. This pregnancy was pretty similar to the previous two, except for a slightly larger bump that I attributed to stretched-out ab muscles.
The silence followed.
Do you know the kind of silence that makes your skin prickle? You know that kind of silence where you can feel something is happening, but don’t yet know what? She pressed the wand down and angled it. I tried to make sense out of it. Was there something wrong?
She finally said it, bursting with words as if she could not hold them in.
You’ve got twins!
I was frozen. Did she say twins just now?
I laughed. I laughed. Both at the same time.
In that moment began a journey of emotions, discoveries, and fears that I had never anticipated. When I learned I was pregnant with twins, no one told me six things that I would experience. Consider this a warning if you are also on this rollercoaster. You’re going g need it.
1. You Can Have Twins Even if it Doesn’t “run in the family.”
This one is still a mystery to me.
Like many others, I believed that twins were something you “inherited”-something which ran in families. This was especially true on the mother’s end. Since there were no twins in my extended family, I thought I was safe.
Nope.
I learned later that identical twins (and this is the type we had) are random. It’s a true biological accident. When one fertilised egg splits in two, it usually happens early after conception. Genetics has nothing to do with it. This is something I would never have read. Not the endless articles that I read during my previous pregnancy. Not even in parenting books or apps for pregnancy. Even other mothers are not able to help.
Why don’t we hear more about this? Someone should be making public service announcements on the completely random nature of twins.
It’s a shock to learn that you are carrying two babies, instead of just one. The news was like a bolt of lightning for me.
2. Twin Pregnancies Are Not an Easy Task
After the initial shock, I floated on a cloud of wonder for a few minutes. I told my family, friends, neighbours, and most likely the postman.
Reality hit hard. Hard.
At one of my first checkups, the obstetrician–cheerful but firm–looked me in the eye and said, “I know everyone thinks twins are lovely, but the pregnancy isn’t always rosy.”
The Understatement of the Year
I began going to ultrasounds every week at 22 weeks to monitor an issue with one of my umbilical cords. While the doctors didn’t raise alarms about my blood flow, they did mention some risks that made me feel cold. Words like “growth limitation”, “preterm labor”, and even “loss” were mentioned. I had already experienced two textbook pregnancies. I was not prepared for complications. I was not ready for.
It’s a common problem with twin pregnancies. Your body suddenly has to support two tiny lives, instead of just one. This puts pressure on your organs. Your organs. Your cervix. Your mental health. Yes, it is a blessing. But you’re also on a tightrope that you didn’t expect to walk.
3. There’s No Need to Buy Two of Everything
The practical panic began as soon as I accepted the fact that my husband and I were expecting twins. What do twins require? Two cots? Two bouncers? Two prams? Two prams?
I imagined my house slowly becoming a baby warehouse. In the first few months, twins don’t need twice as much stuff.
We reused a lot of the items we had used for our first two children. Our twins liked to snuggle together, so one cot was enough for the first few weeks. One change table. One nappy pouch. The double pram was not necessary immediately. Most days, I wore the baby and pushed it.
When they get older, when they are mobile, opinionated, and steal toys from one another, you should start buying more. In the early days of twins, sharing came naturally to them. Since the day they were born, twins have been living together.
4. Tandem Breastfeeding: Magic and Mayhem in Equal Parts
When I told people that we were expecting twins, the first question they asked was “Are you planning to breastfeed them both?”
What was I supposed to say? Was it possible? Could it even be?
Surprisingly… yes.
As soon as I mastered the positioning, tandem nursing became my most efficient method of breastfeeding in the early months. This allowed me to feed both babies at the same time, which saved me time and gave me more space between feedings. It was also a bit surreal to be able to feed both babies at once. It’s primal and powerful.
It wasn’t glamorous.
Tandem feeding requires more props than any Broadway show: pillows, burp cloths, towels rolled up, and much more. Privacy? Forget it. Everything was displayed when feeding twins. The full bazooka impact.
This ruled public feeding out for a time. In a café or shopping center, I couldn’t balance the pillow pile. It was not modest. It was not pretty. It was just… not practical to use outside the house. In the privacy of your lounge room? It worked.
5. Two Babies Crying at Once = maximum chaos… until it’s not
I dreaded hearing the baby cry. Not just any baby crying, but double. Two babies crying at the same time? It sounded (both mine and theirs) like a recipe for meltdown.
Yes, they did happen. Sometimes one baby would latch, and the other would be screaming. Sometimes I didn’t know what to do when both babies were screaming. I would feel like the worst mom ever.
You learn. Your arms become bionic. You bounce and sway like your life is on the line as you pace down the hall with a baby under each arm. You begin to recognize which cry is from which baby, and what it needs. What is the most surprising part? You cope.
Some days, you may even flourish.
You’ll find it difficult, but you will soon adjust to your new normal. Stop panicking and get started. You create systems. You become stronger, calmer, and more confident.
Nobody told me that I would have such strength. I did find it.
6. Your Heart Expands More Than You Think Possible
In the beginning, I was very worried. Not only about logistics but also about love.
How can I give my second baby the same love and attention I gave to my first two Wo Would they feel loved equally? Will I choose favorites without intending to? Will I ever have a moment to myself with each one?
All those fears vanished the moment they arrived.
It didn’t split my heart to love two babies simultaneously; it multiplied them. It was amazing how naturally I felt holding them both, feeding them both, and singing to them both. There was enough love to go around.
The bond between me and my babies, as well as the bond between them in their sibling relationship, is one of the most beautiful things that I have ever seen. In their sleep, they reach out to each other. They talk to each other first before talking to me. All the while, I love them.
Would I Do it All Again?
Would I do it again after the initial shock, the complications and crying, the nursing logistics, as well as the exhaustion, of having twins?
On some days, I am not sure.
“Maybe one more …”” I think on other days, when they come to me in the morning with matching smiles, when I see them in their cribs holding hands, or even when they laugh out loud at what I say.
The twins are a pleasant surprise. A surprise. A joy. A test. A miracle.
Nobody warned me about what I would experience. If you are reading this and have your unplanned twin journey, I’ll tell you what it was like:
You can do it. You’ll be surprised at what you can achieve. It’s one of the most difficult parenting experiences you’ll ever have, but it’s also one that will be unforgettable.
