Six Surprising Things My Third Child Found
When I became pregnant with my third baby, I thought that I had the basics of parenting down. By the time you have your third child, you should be an expert, right? According to myth, the third child is easier — the family has settled into a routine, the children are calmer, and they just fit right in. The third child is easier to raise. Tantrums are less frequent, and sleep comes more easily.
It’s just not the way it happened in my home.
In so many ways, the reality of parenting my third child was a surprise. The third child presented its challenges and surprises that I hadn’t anticipated. What I learned from my youngest child.
1. The Reflux Problem Can Get Worse With Baby Number Three
My first two children had reflux, and I knew it well. I was the queen of the spit rag that was permanently draped on my shoulder. After every feeding, I learned to hold them up for what seemed like an eternity while desperately trying to soothe their screams.
Since I was familiar with the situation, I thought that it would be easier to do this a third time.
Was I ever wrong?
My third child had the worst reflux ever. We tried it all: probiotics and reflux-specific formula, as well as two types of medication. I went so far as to express breast milk and add thickener, in the hope that it would help. We tried all sorts of sleep arrangements, from cribs to bouncers, to see if we could find anything that would help.
Nothing works
I was a constant fixture for the first four or five months with him strapped to me in the baby carriage or perched upon my shoulder. The pain and vomiting would not stop, no matter how much I rocked or soothed him.
Watching him suffer was heartbreaking, exhausting, and frustrating. I expected that this phase would be difficult but manageable. It took all my patience and love to get me through.
2. Sleep Deprivation Hits Harder Than Ever
After having experienced two newborn nights, I was confident that I could survive on very little sleep. I had prepared myself for a sleepless night, midnight feedings, and the constant struggle to get my baby to settle.
The third time, however, was an entirely new experience.
My baby was unable to sleep for several months due to reflux. I could not just put him down to sleep and then sneak away. He had to be carried constantly, usually on my chest. This made it impossible to follow the advice “sleep while the baby sleeps”.
I couldn’t get any rest because I also had to take care of two other kids during the day.
I learned a new skill: catnapping even in the most awkward of positions. I would doze off while holding him in a chair or — I shudder to say — even standing up.
On some days, I felt like a walking zombie. Even coffee couldn’t get me through. I felt so exhausted that I wondered how I could keep everyone alive, let alone feed them.
3. The Youngest is the Clingiest. (Not the Independent one I expected)
You have likely heard the saying, “The youngest child is the most independent,” because older siblings are there to teach and guide them. I assumed that was true, since I am the youngest child of three siblings, and I was “easy-breezy”.
One-year-old has not been independent.
He is a clingy child. He demands attention and needs to be held almost constantly. He’s always yelling or crawling behind me, even if he isn’t on me. This closeness is wonderful, but I don’t get much time to myself.
I’m often torn between wanting him to snuggle and getting things done – laundry, cooking, or cleaning – but it’s nearly impossible unless he is peacefully sleeping.
It can be difficult to compete with older siblings, who are independent and busy. Instead of the breezy, squishy baby I was expecting, I received a velcro-clad baby.
4. The Magic of a Noise Machine: Why Didn’t You Use One Earlier?
My first two sons never needed a noisy machine. They were able to sleep through the chaos around them – loud neighbors, noisy siblings, and even the odd door slam. It was a great gift to be able to sleep through all the noise.
When the third child was born, everything changed.
I was concerned about his sleep due to his reflux, and his older brothers were very noisy. We were also undergoing major renovations, which made the house look like a construction site.
I was initially skeptical about the effectiveness of a white noise generator. It changed my life within a few days.
The noise machine produces a soothing, constant sound to drown out distractions. This helps my baby sleep more easily. It’s a bubble of calm amid chaos.
It makes me wonder what I did with my other children. If you don’t own a machine, you can download white noise sounds or rainfall sounds to your phone.
It’s a great solution for those who struggle with noise and sleep at home.
5. Louder, Wilder, and More Destructive than Ever
I have three boys, so I am no stranger to the chaos, mess, and constant noise that come with having a home full of children.
My youngest child is at a different level.
I often joke that his real name should have been “Captain Shouty Pants”. He is very loud, screaming, yelling, and shouting, as if he needed to be heard above the noise from his brothers.
He’s also incredibly curious. His tiny hands can reach anything. The doors to rooms containing “dangerous items” must be closed — bathrooms, laundry room with cat food, and kitchen cabinets — as if he got in, chaos was guaranteed.
This little firecracker is a whole new level of mischief. My older boys had their moments. It’s hard to keep up.
6. What I Didn’t Expect: So Much Love
What has surprised me most, despite all the challenges, sleepless nights, and chaos, is the love I feel for not only my youngest but also for the rest of my family.
The third child was the final piece to our family puzzle. I had always wanted three kids, but having this baby made me feel complete. The love and happiness that came along with it were a surprise to me.
It’s magical to see your five-person family — three kids with very different personalities and three children of very different backgrounds — all together, thriving in thein imperfect way.
It could be because he is our last child, or the age difference makes him even more precious. But despite the frustration and exhaustion, my heart feels fuller.
This special bond is also felt by my husband and older sons when they welcome the last member of their tribe.
My advice to anyone unsure about whether or not they should have a third baby: just do it. Sometimes it is much harder than others. The love and joy that it brings me are beyond anything I could have imagined.
Conclusion
I didn’t expect the third child to be as easy and breezy as I had hoped. Every day brought new surprises, from the worst reflux to sleepless nights, velcro baby habits, a noise maker saving the day, and a little bundle of energy.
The love in our home is worth every sleepless moment and every mess.
Every child and family is different. The myth that having a third child makes life easier is just a myth. What’s real, however, is the joy and learning that comes with every new member of your family.
If you are a parent to three children, or considering it, you are not alone. Accept the chaos, the clinginess, and the sleepless night because it is all a part of the wonderful, messy adventure that is parenthood.
