Separation anxiety is common in infants and toddlers, and it’s a normal part of childhood development. Separation anxiety can cause children to cry or become clingy if their caregivers leave for even a short time.
Parents and caregivers may find it difficult to separate from their babies when they are experiencing separation anxiety. However, some ways can help reduce the stress. Separation anxiety is usually a problem that goes away as babies and toddlers get older.
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This article will cover signs of separation anxiety, its causes, symptoms, and ways to deal with it both during the daytime and at night.
What is Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety is the fear a child or baby feels when their caregiver leaves, for example, when they leave them at daycare or go to work. Separation anxiety can cause babies and toddlers to become more clingy and cry when the caregiver leaves.
As early as 4 to 5 months, babies can begin showing signs of separation anxiety. Separation anxiety usually begins around 9 months of age. Some babies do not develop separation anxiety until they reach a certain age, and some never do.
Separation anxiety is distressing to both caregivers and infants. However, it can also be a sign of a baby’s attachment to their caregiver. This is a sign that the baby has formed a healthy and strong bond with his or her parent. This is crucial for their social and emotional development throughout life.
Signs of Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety is a phrase that can cause a collective shudder in parents. While it is a challenging stage, it’s an important developmental milestone and shows that our children are beginning to understand that they are independent of us (Bless! ).
This new awareness, which can begin as early as five or six-month-olds, comes with the need to be reassured they are safe even if they cannot see you. Here are some signs that they may need to be reassured.
1. Sleep disruption
It’s obvious when your baby starts crying after being handed over to another person. But did you know that multiple wakings throughout the night can be a sign that they are suffering from separation anxiety? She cries in panic, thinking that you have gone on a moonlight flit, leaving her alone and defenceless.
It can be tiring to both of you, so having a nighttime routine will help you both sleep when separation anxiety strikes. Keep your baby relaxed and close to you in the days leading up to bedtime. This will help her relax. You can soothe your baby’s anxiety by visiting her in her cot as often as necessary. Just make sure that you keep the visits short and unstimulating to ensure she is able to fall asleep again. You can reassure your child by leaving a scent in her room. This could be a T-shirt or a spritz of perfume.
2. Waking up extra early
It’s possible that you attributed her early morning wake-up calls to the time change, the light coming through the window, or the dawn chorus. If your baby suddenly stops sleeping during a reasonable time, separation anxiety may be the cause.
Once she is lifted from her cot, it can be frustrating to see your child fall asleep in your arms. All she wants is you as her primary caregiver. Yay? You can’t do much about it, but you should try to find comfort in knowing that you’ll soon be able to sleep again. You will.
3. Cries when you leave the bedroom
If your baby suffers from separation anxiety, she will be upset every time you leave her room. She may not know if you’ll ever return.
Even though it may seem kinder to sneak away when she isn’t looking, saying goodbye is important. Develop a routine for saying goodbye to your child. This could include giving her a hug and kiss, and telling her that you will be back soon. You’ll know what she is feeling, so don’t make her cry and return to the house several times “just to be sure that she’s okay”.
4. When handed to another person, the recipient gets upset
Your baby was unable to distinguish between people until now. She’s instead been soothed with certain smells and noises (most importantly, your sound and smell). Separation anxiety can start between 6-12 months of age and last until the baby is two-and-a-half years old.
As soon as this realisation dawns, your baby will be reluctant to hand her over to anyone else. This includes her father. She is afraid that you may leave her. It can be incredibly suffocating, especially when you add in the clinginess and the desire to always be held. This stage is about her developing independence, and it is a sign of your incredible bond.
5. Unwillingness to play alone
If your baby has separation anxiety, she may have played with her toys happily before. But now she can’t play without you playing along. If you have to leave the room for a moment (or just move around in the room), let her know where you are going and when you will be back. Each time you come back, you strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
How To Cope with Separation Anxiety in Your Baby?
By keeping your goodbyes brief and simple and by making small adjustments to your daily routine, you can help manage separation anxiety. It helps to keep your child’s expectations in check and lets them know when you will return. After you leave, your child will be fine.
You can prepare for a successful separation by:
Making the transition from a previous caregiver to a new one.
There’s a new babysitter in the house. Let your child become more comfortable in their presence before they take over. Spending time as a small group can help you achieve this. It can make your child more comfortable when you leave and the caregiver takes over.
Trial runs.
Try leaving your toddler for an hour or so before you decide to leave them with a sitter all day. Make it a priority to take time for yourself, even if you have nothing to do. You will get some time for self-care, which you deserve! This will give you some time for yourself (which you deserve!)
Establishing and maintaining a routine.
Keep your promise to your child (as much as possible). The more you can reassure your child that you will return as you promise, the easier it will be for them to say goodbye. Use language that your child can understand. Your child may not understand the time yet, but he or she can understand phrases like “after you nap”. Communicating your plans directly will help your child know that separation is normal.
Baby’s Separation Anxiety In The Night
You may notice your child has difficulty falling asleep or that they wake up more often. They might even seem to be waking from nightmares. It can lead to less sleep for you both and more sadness.
You may be tempted by the idea of letting your baby sleep with you, but there are some other tricks that you can use to get your child to sleep independently.
- It’s a good time to establish a routine for bedtime if you haven’t already. It can help your child feel sleepy and confident.
- It’s best to stick with your bedtime ritual because it provides stability and comfort.
- Avoid sneaking off! If you leave your baby alone, they may be more upset when they awaken and find that you are not there.
- Avoid bad habits that you will have to break later. You might not want to take your child from their crib to bed and then rock them back, or you may allow them to sleep with you in your bed. You could try to sing or speak softly as you rub their back.
- Relax and remain calm! Your baby will sense your mood.
Conclusion
In conclusion, separation anxiety is a normal part of your baby’s development and a sign of a strong, healthy attachment. Recognising the signs, such as excessive clinginess, crying when you leave the room, changes in sleep patterns, or increased fussiness, can help you better understand what your baby is going through emotionally.
This awareness empowers you to respond with patience and compassion, rather than frustration or worry. By knowing the signs, parents can offer the comfort, consistency, and reassurance their baby needs to feel secure. Understanding separation anxiety not only helps soothe your little one but it also strengthens your connection, helping both of you navigate this developmental stage with confidence and care.
