Perhaps you know the feeling? You’ve been pregnant for what seems like 28 months and can’t possibly get any larger? Here’s some thoughts and feelings from super-preggers mums who went before you.
1. Why does my tummy have corners?
Just before full term (and beyond) your baby’s elbows, knees, hands and feet will interrupt the sculptural curve of your belly, creating corners and undulating lumpy bits.
Don’t worry though, this is a sure sign that you’re ready to pop, sooner rather than later, as your belly reaches capacity and your little interloper’s eviction is imminent.
2. It’s okay to kill people who ask if the baby’s arrived yet, right?
“Any news?!” or “Any sign of that baby yet?!” or “Is the baby here?!” are all just cause for a neck punch or worse, when asked of mums who are asking themselves this very thing 100 million times a day!
The desire to slap well-intentioned people who ask these questions is completely normal and totally justified.
3. What if I don’t know how to mum, after all?!
In the dead of the pregnant lady sleepless night, this old chestnut often rears its head. It’s usually when your little person is trampoline-ing on your bladder or bestowing a bracing dose of heartburn on your burgeoning and exhausted body.
Know that you’re ready, you’ve got this and you will learn on your (swollen) feet!
4. Why can’t I make this baby come out right now?!
When you feel like you’re totally prepared- you’ve read all the books, your bag is packed, family’s on standby and the baby’s names are almost set in stone, frustration can set in as you realise fledgling kiddos have their own agenda when it comes to being born.
Short of some surgical intervention or the old trip down a bumpy road, you probably can’t force your bub to make an appearance. Instead, rest easy in these final pre-baby days, because that’s what Netflix was invented for.
5. Can my boobs get any bigger? Spoiler: Yes they can!
Some of us had always wished for a generous chest, while other more naturally booby ladies can think of nothing worse.
Suffice to say that the “breast is best” slogan could be applied to pregnancy as your knockers ready themselves for the task at hand and do their very best fertility goddess impersonation. #BoobsRus
6. Who even am I?!
When you look in the mirror, a whisker away from childbirth, you may not recognise the lady looking back because she seems to be an amazing baby-growing machine!
It’s okay though, because even if you did get used to your new person-making look, it’d change again in a matter of days and you’d be back to square one. Enjoy the strange new you! Much mysterious! Very belly!
7. Um… actually just how spicy is that spicy food that induces labour?
Inevitably your thoughts will turn to natural ways to spark labour. Spicy foods, sex, bumpy car rides, nipple stimulation…
Everything is worth a try, but not all at the same time because that would be super tricky and possibly very painful!
8. Is my baby actually an alien?
As you rest up and glance down at your independently gyrating belly, you’d be forgiven for thinking that you had some kind of alien on board. Know that there are currently no recorded cases of women birthing aliens, so the chances of being handed an extra-terrestrial in the birthing suite are actually quite slim.
9. Am I ready?!
Guess what? You are never totally ready, but you have totally 100 percent GOT THIS!
All the best laid plans can be thrown out the window by a fresh little person with their own wants and needs.
Know that you a) can handle this and b) can ask for help if things are difficult or confusing! You are as ready as you are ever going to be!
Are you waiting of your baby to hurry up and arrive?! Have you thunk any of these thinks?!