Attention spelling nazis. Look away. You won’t be able to get through this post without cringing and wanting to get out a red pen (and draw big frowny faces on the foreheads of the parents who chose these atrocious options for their offspring).
What to name your baby – yes, it’s a big decision. And most parents want to choose a name that expresses themselves in a way that is unique and creative. Choosing to spell a common name uniquely is one way to achieve this.
Many people love a unique spelling name. Many people don’t. And while it is entirely up to the parents what to name bub and how to spell it, sometimes it’s best to stick to the basics.
So, without further ado, here are the top offenders and tacky trends in improper spelling thanks to our Babyology community who shared with us the worst of the very worst.
The baby names guaranteed to give your child a complex
Because they will be graduating from high school and still unable to correctly spell their name.
- Khai-Leigh – When you really love Kylie Minogue, but you’re also a massive Game of Thrones fan ….
- Pheona – Pheobe and Fiona are both lovely names. So why not combine them and ruin our daughter’s life forever? Great plan, parents.
- Tiphaniee – For those who prefer their names in English, this says, “Tiffany”. I know. I thought it said TeePee too.
- Merandah – When you combine the perfectly acceptable name of Miranda with a porch setting.
- Jessieighkah – “Eigh” does not belong anywhere, okeigh?
- Vyolette – A violet by any other name definitely doesn’t look so sweet.
- Thyeson – Apologies to ‘thye son’ of mine who will forever go through life being identified as Shakespearean prose. Oh, and by the way, this name is pronounced “Tyson”.
- Alyzzabeth – Close enough to Elizabeth.
- Soosin – So so so wrong. Sorry Susan.
- Mackquelliegha – What is this abomination of a word? Michaela. Oh dear lord.
- Paizleigh – “Because I want my child to be different … And hate me forever.”
- Alexzandre – Alexander is a beautiful name. But then this happened …
- Xzavier – When you can’t decide whether to go with a Z or a X.
- Mykel – This is what happens when Michael’s parents have one too many hipster coffees before going to the labour ward.
The baby names where adding in a bunch of vowels seems like a smart move
Let’s make our name unique by adding in a few extra vowels. Sorry parents. But bad choice.
- Taiydaoum – I know, let’s find a name that includes every vowel in the English language. Except E of course. Because that would be weird.
- Ivey – Oh look, the missing E.
- Teighyiaha – This is the 10-letter equivalent to Tia, with seven extra letters thrown in just for fun.
- Jaeysin – There’s no I in Jason. Oh wait … turns out there is. And a horribly misplaced E and Y too.
- Aliviyah – Olivia is one of the most popular names of last year. Aliviyah made a list too – it placed third on the worst baby names ever (seriously, ever).
- Ehyrnne – This says Erin, for anyone who is trying to keep up.
- Sofhiyah -The dreaded ‘YAH’ combination is back and ruining another popular name – Sophia.
The baby names where vowels are no longer allowed
These are the names where the parents clearly decided to forgo a name and just used initials instead. Because being able to tell everyone your child can spell her name at the age of two is a big deal, okay?
- R’Chee – poor poor Archie.
- KC – It’s not that hard to spell Casey, guys!
- JL – Again, Jael is a fairly easy one to spell.
- Le-a (pronounced Le-dash-a) because the dash isn’t silent.
The Kardashian Konundrum
I’m cringing just writing that. And swapping C for K seems to be a common thing these days. Khloe, Karson and Kourtney would probably agree. What’s wrong with the letter C? It’s a good letter, dammit. Here’s a few more that will probably keep your kringing (sorry, I had to do it).
- Kooper (or, even better), Koopa …
Of course, there are two sides to every story. Often a baby’s name is selected due to the heritage of the parents and perhaps awful spellings run in the family. Some may also be based on a word from a different language. For example, Lukas and Jakob are both incredibly popular in Europe but here they just look like the parents need a lesson in spelling.
Because, let’s face it. If Olivia and Elyviia (or however it is supposed to be spelled) both applied for a job in 20 years’ time, who would you hire? The person with the normal name? Or the person whose name sounds like her parents were on acid when deciding on what to name their child?
Sorry Allyvia. Your parents do love you. They just have a weird way of showing it.
Never fear, parents-to-be who have an obsession with wacky (ahem…creative) names. We have dozens to choose from! Check out our top hipster names, our most adorable and unique names from our Babyology readers, the wackiest baby names out there and the names that sound cute but come with horrible meanings.