5 simple things that make a marriage happy
There’s nothing like death to appreciate life. And there’s nothing like watching the heartbreak and the disintegration of a friend’s marriage to appreciate your own.
Relationships are hard work, and they can take even more work once kids come along. Work that no one has the time or patience to do.
Over the last year, I have watched my friend’s heart unravel. I’ve heard all the small ways a loving relationship can turn into a painful one. It’s been hard to witness, but it’s made me take a serious look at my own marriage. It’s helped me to appreciate what I do have, but also to pay more attention to the details that matter.
I would much prefer she wasn’t going through this at all, but it has taught me some important things. They are simple and obvious, but sometimes get missed in the chaotic mix of work and family life.
2. Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless
So said Mother Teresa, but you don’t need to be a saint to be kind.
When I talk to my friend, the thing that strikes me most is how deliberately unkind her husband is to her. I think it hit me hard because it’s the smallest thing that every relationship needs.
And yet I’m guilty of not being kind. I’m not unkind, but seeing the impact of this treatment on my friend, I realised the difference deliberate acts of kindness can make.
Saying hello and giving my husband a hug when I get in the door. Asking how he’s feeling and listening to the answer. Getting him a drink without being asked to. Asking if he’d like time out with his friends.
Sometimes my “to do” list fills up my brain so much I can’t see the space for anything else.
But kindness doesn’t take time or planning, it just takes a little bit of thought.
This post was originally published on Kinderling Kids Radio. Download the Kinderling app for more great stories.
