“My wife isn’t interested in sex 4 weeks after birth of our child” sad man says
A gent has turned up on Reddit lamenting his wife’s reluctance to have sex after having a human pulled out of her nether regions.
“Sex is completely off the cards”
In a since-deleted post, the man explained that this is the couple’s second child and things are a little different to the first. He’s feeling unloved and unwanted and very sad that they can’t make love.
“My wife gave birth to our second son on the 1st Feb,” the man writes. “The birth wasn’t bad (compared to our first) and there were no stitches. She says she is no longer sore or uncomfortable.”
(Because apparently that’s all that comes into the whole postpartum sex equation?! #sarcasm)
“Since the birth my wife doesn’t seem to want to be around me. She recoils at any affection I show. She refuses to let me kiss her. And sex is completely off the cards.”
“It was nothing like this for our first born, and that was a traumatic 48 hour birth, with hormone drips and lots of stitches,” he continues, possibly in an attempt to further justify his sex-wanty position.
Read more about relationships:
- “I was so clueless”: What a sex advice columnist learnt about sex after kids
- Can a sex challenge help your marriage? Married vs single mums weigh-in
- A survival guide: The first date night after having a baby
- Why do we stop feeling love for our partners after kids?
He finishes off his post by explaining that it’s not ALL about the sex. He’s feeling sad about other things too.
“The worst part is she will not even say, ‘I love you’. My 3-year-old has picked up on this and he says, ‘I love you Daddy. Mummy doesn’t love you though’ and this just breaks me. So, am I the as*hole for getting upset about this?”
“Whiny manbaby?”
Commenters felt it was indeed about the sex and told this upset man that … he was a bit of a git.
“She just gave birth, and she needs at least 6 weeks to heal,” one wrote. “Are you doing your part to help with childcare and chores? Do you do nighttime feedings? Change diapers? Or are you moping around like a whiny manbaby while she does all the work?”
Others wondered if his wife had postnatal depression which seems a little like jumping to conclusions. But generally, people thought that this man needed to be more patient – for everybody’s good.
“You aren’t supposed to have sex for 6 weeks after birth to allow your uterus to heal,” one commenter pointed out. “You can get a wicked infection from having sex too early. She literally grew a human being, and then pushed it out of her body. Take a breath, self serve if you need to and give her some time and support. NAH, but dude, get it together and talk to your wife.”
Some people were actually really cross about the whole situation. Like this lady:
“6-8 weeks is recommended for no sex after birth,” an angry person posted. “How about you grab a watermelon and shove it up your *&$% then push it back out and strap a leaking gallon jug of milk to each of your nipples. See how up for sex you’d be after that!”
She’s got a point.
Everyone is different, man baby
The truth is that every woman is different and even that standard six-week wait period is a little misleading.
Dr Andrea DeMaria – who is an assistant professor in Purdue University’s College of Health and Human Sciences – recently led a study that looked at the varied experiences women have when they’re considering postpartum sex.
“Among participants, the most frequent recommendation from health providers was to resume sex after the six-week postpartum visit,” Dr DeMaria explained.
“But we found some women were ready before six weeks due to personal and partner desire, while other women expressed difficulties resuming sex, including pain and exhaustion from caring for a new baby.”
Listening to women and respecting their postpartum feelings and needs is the best idea. We’re guessing this gent got the idea pretty quickly because he deleted his post as the comments started to flow in.
