Juggling time between multiple kids is challenging for any parent, as one mum found recently when she missed an important ceremony for her daughter. Feeling guilty afterwards, she penned a tribute letter to her on Facebook which is now reminding others of how we too should be celebrating all of our children.
Torn in different directions
The juggle struggle: when more than one child needs you at exactly the same time, and there’s only one of you to go around. Many of us have been there (I know I have) and this is exactly what happened recently to blogger and mother of three, Mammys Bright Side. Instead of cheering on her daughter as she was awarded a sports trophy, she was in emergency with her son who ended up having nothing wrong with him.
Feeling upset that her easy-going, happy-go-lucky middle child had once again received less attention from her, the mother turned to Facebook to pen a heart-warming post. Speaking about the guilt she was feeling she also wrote a personal tribute to her daughter to let her know she is definitely special and deserving of her mother’s time.
Child 2. Last week child 2 won player of the week at camogie it was all very cute she even got a little trophy. I…
A letter from the heart
Often it’s the least challenging of our children who unfortunately gets the least of our time. In her Facebook post, Mammys Bright Side bravely acknowledges this before also writing some reassuring words to her sweet daughter to let her know she’s always loved, appreciated and never forgotten.
“I see you. I see you in the mornings, your big smile as you go with the flow, humming and without complaint completely oblivious to the other two scalds who by 8am have usually been the cause of me cursing under my breath 465,000 times…”
It’s so vital for little (and big) kids to know they’re seen, heard and an important factor in our lives; so it’s no wonder this mother’s touching words are striking a chord with other parents.
“I see your eyes widen with enthusiasm everyday at dinner when everyone’s talking about their day, you have such an amazing little way. I see you blossom when it’s just me and you, I know it’s not nearly often enough and sometimes it goes long over due. But yes my sweet, sensitive, funny, caring beauty…I see you “
A good reminder for others
Parenting is never easy, no matter how many kids you have, but this post serves as a reminder, not only to let go of guilt because we all struggle, but also to take a moment each day to let your easygoing child know they are valued and worth your time too. I personally have three young kids and I find it hard every day. I often feel guilty that I can’t remember many of my middle child’s milestones (life being a blur of nappies and feeding back then), and now that they’re all at different ages and have different needs I often find myself pulled in three directions where someone always loses out.
Finding the balance
I believe the first step is making sure they all know they’re loved and appreciated every day. Then recognise when time and attention is not balanced, and work out ways to make it more even. Family moments are great but one-on-one time is also important. And just because one child doesn’t complain it doesn’t mean they aren’t unhappy about not spending more time with you.
One of my sons always wants to play games when I’m in the middle of something. He handles the refusals pretty well, and yet I’m conscious that if I continue to deny him one day he’ll stop asking. So I keep track of what I’ve promised for another day, so that when the baby is sleeping and I do have a spare moment, I can spend it with him (or my other son). Of course there are a million chores I could also be doing, but if there is one thing I do know, it is that those chores will always be there. Our little ones won’t be little forever.
How do you juggle time between your children?