Man defends wife when she’s dismissed as ‘just’ a stay-at-home-parent

Anyone who’s stayed at home with kids understands what hard, selfless work it is. But if you’re a stay-at-home-parent, you can’t be faulted for wondering if your partner gets it.

Brad Kearns understands, and when a man at a party commented to Brad’s wife, Sarah, “Oh so you just stay home and look after the kids?” Brad took to Facebook in a passionate, sweary tribute to his wife.

The incident happened at a wedding the Kearns attended on a rare night out without their two sons. Seated at a dinner table that was a mix of guests from the bride’s side and the groom’s side, diners made polite conversation, engaging in the sort of small talk that usually involves the question: “So what do you do with yourself?”

Brad explained his job, and when the man turned to Sarah, he said dismissively, “Oh so you just stay at home and look after the kids?”

At the party, Brad held his tongue, saying that, “Sarah kept her cool (much to my fucking amazement as I was about the get the popcorn out),” but afterwards he made his mind known on social media.

He wrote, “I don’t know how [stay-at-home-parenting] has become a generalisation but it fucking stinks. I am really fucking proud of her and everything she’s achieved … I love that she wants to take this time to raise our beautiful children. She will never get this time again.”

The dad to two-year-old Know and six-month-old Finn said, “There’s nothing fucking wrong with being a stay-at-home-parent. Temporary or career parent who cares.”

He then continues, “Don’t judge, don’t assume, don’t anything. Just mind your own business and let people live their life how they want to.”

Other parents ‘get it’

The post struck a chord with people, particularly those who gave up careers to stay home with their kids.

Ali Lee welcomed those dismissive of parenthood to visit her at home one day. “I dare those who [dismiss staying at home] to spend a day at my place with my three, my daughter and twin boys (all under 5) they will see my ‘job’ in a whole different light!”

Juanita Bailey commented that time at home with kids is fleeting. “It’s time you never get back. Our children grow up so fast so we need to cherish them while we can. Some people don’t have the choice to stay at home and some people do. I always stay home as long as you can as I was not so lucky and went back to work when my second was only 2 weeks old.”

Dads added their voices to the conversation. Bruce Balfour wrote, “About to start my new job as a stay at home dad with our 9 month old daughter whilst my wife goes back to work and looking forward to it … Already have so many people surprised by this choice.”

Brad’s Facebook profile is full of revelations about parenting, and shows a great appreciation for his wife.

Over the weekend he posted that Sarah came home early from a night out to help him get their teething youngest to sleep. He wrote, “It’s not that I needed her. I knew what the issue was. I just needed to let someone know and she was the only adult I could really tell.

“Sometimes we forget how much that reassurance means.”

Sarah may be the stay-at-home-parent in this couple, but Brad and Sarah prove that working together gets the job done.

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