Gwyneth on coparenting after divorce: “It’s the most difficult thing I’ve done”

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow has just done an interview with Net-a-Porter’s magazine, The EDIT, and she spoke candidly about parenting and the hard work she’s put into forging a new relationship with ex-husband Chris Martin, for the sake of their kids.

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Life in the spotlight

Chris and Gwyneth divorced two years after their 2014 separation, at the time infamously calling their split a “conscious uncoupling”. The pair are parents to 13-year-old Apple and 11-year-old Moses, and their relationship has been under the microscope since they met in 2002 (they were married in 2003).

Gwyneth says she’s been able to avoid the more candid spotlight a little more easily of late, and it’s all thanks to her kids.

“They passed laws a couple of years ago about not harassing children. So I take them everywhere with me like a shield – they’re good for something!”

Fostering friendship

Facing a new life after a long relationship, Gwyneth said she resolved to do what would ultimately be best for her kids. It was not without its challenges.

“I wanted to turn my divorce into a positive,” she says. “What if I didn’t blame the other person for anything, and held myself 100% accountable? What if I checked my own s**t at the door and put my children first? And reminded myself about the things about my ex-husband that I love, and fostered the friendship? What I put myself through to get there was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

Gwyneth also spoke relatably about the speed with which the years seem to be flying by. She said her kids are ready for whatever the world throws at them.

“It went so fast!” she said of Apple’s first eleven years.

“My kids can handle [life’s challenges]. They know their lives are extraordinary. And girls today are allowed to be anything; they’re self-possessed, confident, they like themselves. In Apple’s peer group, I don’t see the insecurity I saw at that age. They’re like, ‘We got this.’”

Not always a bed of roses

Life’s not been all extraordinary gains for Gwyneth, despite outward appearances. She suffered from postnatal depression after Moses’ birth in 2006.

“I felt like a zombie. I couldn’t access my heart. I couldn’t access my emotions. I couldn’t connect. It was terrible, it was the exact opposite of what had happened when Apple was born. With her, I was on cloud nine. I couldn’t believe it wasn’t the same. I just thought it meant I was a terrible mother and a terrible person,” she told Good Housekeeping back in 2011.

“The hardest part for me was acknowledging the problem,” she said. “I thought postpartum depression meant you were sobbing every single day and incapable of looking after a child. But there are different shades of it and depths of it, which is why I think it’s so important for women to talk about. It was a trying time. I felt like a failure,” Gwyneth said.

It’s always good when high profile types talk about the tricky bits of parenting and relationships (despite the fact that Gwyneth tempers it with some pretty outlandish commentary on wellness and leading your best life!)

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Birthday dreams come true #fidgetspinners

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#mothersday 💛

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