6 gross reasons I could never be a preschool teacher

Posted in Preschool.
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As far as I’m concerned, preschool teachers rate as some of the most valuable people in my life. As I drop Mr 3 off into their care, I know that he’s in safe hands. He’s happy, looked after and will be entertained ALL day. What’s not to love?

But, as much as I love the preschool teachers, I feel no love or envy for their job. In fact, you couldn’t pay me enough to do it.

Here are just a few reasons why:

1. The snot

Mr 3 has always had his fair share of snot – let’s be honest, which little one hasn’t? It’s kind of part and parcel of attending daycare and growing an immune system, right?

However, he’s my green snot blowing monster, so I can cope with snail trails across my tops and having a handbag full of crusty tissues.

But, imagine being surrounded by a room of green bubbling noses and none of them are yours? No thank you. And as for the germs and sicknesses involved? Well, that’s another thing …

2. The germs  

Alongside the snot, comes the coughs, the ongoing colds, and the upset tummies.

It’s hard to see any glamour in regularly wiping noses, covering mouths and cleaning up spew and poo.

While the constant exposure to such germs may be good for the immune system, it wouldn’t be good for much else. The smell, the mess, the whole thing. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it.

3. The whining 

Every parent knows that a child’s whining can be about as enjoyable as a jackhammer to the head.

Sure it’s not always easy for me to placate Mr 3 when he’s in whining world, but bribes can certainly help. Chocolate, TV or the iPad usually work a treat – basically, all the things that preschool teachers can’t use.

So, for them, there’s no escape from the jackhammers. When one stops, another starts, and sometimes there’s ten at once. Shudder! 

4. The monotony

Groundhog Day can be a killer, and I’ve certainly done my time. However, I’m reaching the light.

As Mr 3 grows, our routine has become more flexible. We’re reading different stories at night (hallelujah!) and our days are spent out and about.

But, imagine being stuck in the same room, doing the same things for weeks and months on end. And then when one year ends, it starts all over again. God, no! Pass me the chocolate now! 

5. Being nice ALL the time

At times, it’s hard to be nice to Mr 3. When he’s pushed my buttons all day and I’m completely shattered, I admit that I snap. Who doesn’t, right?

But because he’s mine, I forgive him, and we move on. 

However, if I had lots of small children pushing my buttons all day, I know I wouldn’t cope. How can you remain ‘nice’ when every little person is driving you up the wall?

6. The constant noise

When my two boys are home, the noise never stops. The shouting, the fighting, and the general banter – usually accompanied by the sound of the TV. But, at least I have a break.

Three days out of five I’m childfree. The peace is just divine.

Being surrounded by constant noise five days a week would push me to the edge. The questions, the whining, the jolly nursery rhymes and even the sound of my own voice. Where’s the nearest exit, please?

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