Okay this might seem like a very un-funny story at first glance, but it’s actually pretty much every single exhausted parent at one time or another – and the ending is ultimately happy!
Yesterday, my car was stolen.Well, not exactly. It was more like misplaced.It went something like this…My kids and…
Rain boots and robbers?
“Yesterday, my car was stolen,” Lauren Lodder of Mommy Owl wrote gravely in a Facebook post.
Texas-based former English professor Lauren is a mum of two girls aged 3 and 5. She’s the hero of our story, really. A mum just trying to do her best amidst the chaos of this thing called family.
Lauren took her stir-crazy girls out one day with all the best intentions:
“My kids and I decided to stop over at our favorite local bakery and have ourselves a midday treat. Usually we walk there, but, since it had been drizzling all afternoon and my daughter didn’t want to get rain on her new rain boots, we decided to drive instead.”
So far so good. We can relate. Don’t want to get those rain boots wet. Nu-uh.
Lauren said they ate muffins and watched the rain. She had her 4th coffee of the day. It was an afternoon like many others. They wandered home, all splashy puddles and bumping umbrellas. Singing even. Then tumbled into bed. Happy as (soggy) larks.
Keen observers will have clocked the turning point in our story already, but let’s push on anyway.
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Me: Smile for the camera! My kid: . . . . #mom #momlife #momproblems #sarcasticmom #dad #dadlife #dadproblems #sarcasticdad #parenting #parentinglife #kids #kidlife #hilariouskids #marriage #marriagelife #marriedwithkids #meme #humor #lol #funny #mommyowl #humor #momsofinstagram #mothehood #aging #aginggracefully #agingwithkids #pregnancy #grateful #love #goodkids
What happened next was shocking. It freaked Lauren the holy heck out. You see, the next morning Lauren’s daughter needed to retrieve something from the car and then she realised it wasn’t in the garage! Wait, whaaaaat?!
It played out a lot like this:
“Mommy, mommy, where’s the car? I need my purse.”
“What do you mean? It’s in the garage.”
“No. It’s not.”
Lauren says she headed straight to her garage and realised the car was indeed completely and utterly missing.
“I jumped to the most il-logical conclusion: IT HAD BEEN STOLEN,” Lauren wrote.
She called the cops and an hour later, a policeman was on her doorstep to solve the case.
“You say it’s black with a small dent on the bumper and rear side door?” he asked.
“Yes,” I responded.
“And it has two car seats in the back and smells like rotting cheese?” he confirmed.
“Yes, sir!” I said.
“Ok, we will keep an eye out and get back to you if we locate the vehicle.”
A worried Lauren could not believe this senseless crime had befallen her. She turned the events of the last 24 hours over and over in her head.
“What kind of a person steals a car with toys, diapers, and car seats so obviously displayed on the inside?” she wondered. Poor Lauren. And what a confusing state of affairs.
But then, readers, a glimmer of hope! The policeman actually DID solve the crime! Plot twist!
“10 minutes later I got a call from the same policeman. He had located my car,”
a triumphant an embarrassed Lauren wrote.
“Ma’am, I found your stolen vehicle in a coffee shop parking lot around the corner from your house.”
“Oooh. Riiight…… Did you also catch the person who stole it?”
“Ok, so I may have parked there yesterday and totally forgot. Listen, this has been a looong summer and I’m doing the best I can,” I admitted, mortification oozing from my voice.
“It’s okay, ma’am. Happens all the time.”
Let this be a lesson
Mortification ooze is an actual thing that people suffer once they have kids. Lauren bravely shared her story to raise awareness, hoping it will prevent others experiencing the same
“So here is what I learned the day my car was NOT STOLEN. Don’t jump to conclusions. Get more sleep. And it is highly unlikely that anyone will ever want to steal any parent’s toy-filled and crumb-infested car.”
It’s a teaching moment for all of us, really.
Bless you Lauren. #MuchBrave #VeryRaw
Has your car ever been “stolen” like this?!
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It really didn't. . . #mom #momlife #momproblems #sarcasticmom #dad #dadlife #dadproblems #sarcasticdad #parenting #parentinglife #kids #kidlife #hilariouskids #marriage #marriagelife #marriedwithkids #meme #humor #lol #funny #mommyowl #humor #momsofinstagram #mothehood #aging #aginggracefully #agingwithkids #pregnancy #grateful #love #goodkids