Many people think that after you have kids, you have to stop doing the things that brought you joy before they arrived. This is simply not true! All you have to do is slightly adjust your way of thinking. Here is your guide to enjoying all your favourite things now that you’re a parent …
1. Binge-watch a good drama
Do you miss having the time to watch hours of premium drama? Well, never fear: with children your life will be filled with it! The trials and tribulations of Westeros, Westworld or The West Wing will pale in comparison to the litany of tragedy and comedy that awaits you when you bring new life into the world.
2. Fine dining? No problem
Did you once love dining out? Love nothing more than enjoying a long, considered degustation menu? Save money and time, because now you’ll get the chance to sample an endless range of tasting plates when your toddler refuses every painstakingly-prepared morsel you create for them. Enjoy pre- and post-digested hors d’oeuvres over the sink in the four seconds between taking your toddlers plate away and their pre-sleep tantrum.
Read more about raising kids:
- The number one thing parents miss about life before kids
- 7 ways working parents can tackle kids and life after the 6pm daycare pickup
- Transitioning to parenthood: What all soon-to-be parents really need to know
3. Zen out and take a yoga class
There’s nothing quite like a good yoga session to realign your body and sense of self. Why spend good money on a class, though, when you can crouch uncomfortably for four hours by your baby’s cot as they never quite settle at night? Feel the burn!
For a more vigorous workout you will be surprised at how often you will be required to sprint after your child, who has somehow taken it upon themselves, in the approximately 0.02 seconds you have looked away from them, to wander directly in the path of the nearest multi-lane highway, open sewer or industrial shredder (whichever comes first).
5. Keep your mind sharp
Let’s not forget that mental agility is just as important. While you may not get the time and space to complete a cryptic crossword or fiendish Sudoku, have you ever tried reasoning with a two-year-old? The greatest mathematical minds of our time would struggle to logically explain to your kid why they actually do have to keep their pants on in the supermarket. This is to say nothing of the neural agility required to measure a correct dose of kids Panadol to a screaming baby at 3am.
6. Read great literature
Maybe you’re a fan of settling in with the latest gripping thriller or literary prize-winner. As a parent, you certainly won’t be short on reading material! Whether it’s a mandatory deep dive into the convergence of self-image and environmental determinism in The Very Hungry Caterpillar or the moral implications of Spot the Dog owning a pet cat, every thousand times you read one of your child’s favourite three stories you will gain a nuanced understanding of the layers of great literature.
If your pleasures reside in great fashion, you’ll be pleased to know you will get to test your enviable sartorial skills each morning as you attempt to assemble an outfit as yet untouched by baby vomit.
8. Entertain guests
Many of us find cooking a simple way to focus and unwind, but if you’re not being constantly interrupted by an attention-seeking egomaniac who’s a constant danger to themselves and you, aren’t you missing out on the true experience of working in a professional restaurant? A toddler will give you this experience without the money and time you’d need to invest in culinary school and an apprenticeship.
9. Spend time with your loved one
One of the most common concerns for expecting parents is a worry that you will lose that special connection with your loved one. Don’t worry: you’ll get to share plenty of quality time together, like when both kids fall asleep in the car and you get to sit next to each other quietly in the driveway not making a sound or movement in case they wake up.
Well, what are you waiting for? Improve your life today!