Em Rusciano surprises us all with tipsy, cashed-up $50 tooth fairy tale
Em Rusciano gives zero effs about run-of-the-mill parenting and modern gal conventions. Em’s carving her own path. Sometimes in her undies. Sometimes with a bit of blingy face zing. Sometimes in snazzy kicks. And sometimes it’s in her role as special helper to the tooth fairy, that Em gets a little bit … extra.
The Loose Fairy
On her breakfast radio show, Em spilled the beans on some late night shenanigans involving the tooth fairy, and honestly, despite first impressions it kind of makes a lot of sense.
She told co-host Grant Denyer that, on occasion, things get a little bit loose during the whole late night tooth-currency exchange.
“The tooth fairy is still around, annoyingly enough, even though one of the children is 11,” Em said. “Basically if the tooth fairy has had a few too many rosés the price goes up.” #relatable
She also pointed out that complex calculations are often factored into valuing a tooth. It’s really not for novices and the uninitiated should suspend judgement – and simply watch and learn.
“Sometimes the tooth fairy is a bit hungover and she forgets to take the tooth so then there’s the guilt money.” #WeFeelYou “One year, I remember [the tooth fairy] left a pineapple for Marchella. A $50 note,” Em recalled fondly, on a roll at this point.
Wait, what?
Em’s co-hosts appeared intimidated by the pineapple, to be honest. It’s probable that they don’t understand the nuanced response exhaustion, guilt, haste, one-trick ATM machines and rosé can spark.
“Wow. A pineapple?! Are you serious?” a gobsmacked Grant managed. “That’s a tough benchmark to set!”
Em’s other co-host Ed Kavalee was equally confused.
Grant jealously quietly admitted his daughter Sailor had received “a lobster” (a $20 note) when she lost her first tooth.
“I thought that was pretty generous,” he countered wanly.
Read more about the tooth fairy:
- This warning letter from the Tooth Fairy is next-level genius
- Teacher’s note to the tooth fairy saves the day!
- 5 sweet tooth fairy finds
So how much does the tooth fairy leave?
A 2002 survey by Visa found that – even allowing for inflation – it was a lot less than $50, but that Grant’s lobster might not be so unusual.
“While some lucky kids find a 20 dollar bill under their pillow after losing a tooth, most tooth payouts fall in the range of one to five dollars,” the experts at Colgate said of the survey results.
“Staying within the one to five dollar range while explaining that the tooth fairy pays more for perfectly clean teeth that have been well brushed and flossed may help explain fluctuations in the rewards different tooth fairies leave.”
